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On this, and other public forums, because of the diverse mix of individuals, posts can come across as bragging, judgemental, blaming etc. Might be a good opportunity for posters to share how they keep things "neutral" without coming across too strongly. I use a couple of guidelines:
1. State the facts, just the facts. Leave emotions out of the post
2. State your opinion, but don't force it on others
3. Don't judge others. You have no idea of all the circumstances that have lead them to this point in time.
4. Leave it to the individual to take the advice offered...or not. No need to try and convince someone whom you do not know to follow your doctrine to the letter.
5. If you feel the poster cannot understand your point for whatever reason...move on.
I'm sure there are others....feel free to add to the list.
Conversely, some of those on the receiving end need to grow a thicker skin and not take offense to anything that is not within their idea of political correctness — especially when they are doing the asking and then get P.O’d at the answer
I’m married to someone like that - I don’t cut him near the slack I do on the forums as the biggest problem with forums is the lack of voice inflection. Change of voice inflection, when saying the same thing, can severely alter the meaning.
Conversely, some of those on the receiving end need to grow a thicker skin and not take offense to anything that is not within their idea of political correctness — especially when they are doing the asking and then get P.O’d at the answer
I’m married to someone like that - I don’t cut him near the slack I do on the forums as the biggest problem with forums is the lack of voice inflection. Change of voice inflection, when saying the same thing, can severely alter the meaning.
Agree! Tone is dependent on how the reader interprets the written statement. It is not possible to provide "nuance" in a post! Another reason to be careful about what is written.
It's a forum on the internet. Why get worked up over anything some anonymous person posts? More important things to worry about like when they run out of Buffalo Trace bourbon!
When people post their opinion and use blatantly wrong stats to back up their statements in an area within my profession or people use racist comments then I will call it out.
Otherwise I don’t.
I think it's interesting how some posters talk about their personal life frequently, often in depth, and often repeatedly. Or even some infrequently, but they do share personal things.
And then they are amazed and shocked and even angry that some people remember what they have written, and if mentioning information from past posts, they think someone has been 'researching' them or doing something wrong, just because others remember what these people have said about their own personal life.
Especially if a poster has been posting for many years, and some many many years - it is not difficult to remember the constructs of their life which they have shared repeatedly and frequently over time. It's easy to remember!
(I'm sure some sporadic readers do not remember what others have written - and do not pay attention to name of poster and information shared by that person)
But some posters seem to think they are posting to a non-remembering anonymous celestial universe with their personal information - rather than posting to fellow posters, many of whom will remember what was said or said over years.
Also, a good number of people seem to have never noticed the search engine and search mechanism called 'Search Forums (advanced)' at the top of the page. And if they have noticed it, they do not know how to use it effectively - where anything can be looked up, if one knows how to use it effectively.
I avoid posting on CD and put people on ignore list, that’s how I stay on neutral.
What do you mean, you avoid posting? I see posts from you frequently.
I've not tried the ignore list, but I do scroll over several posters that rub me the wrong way.
I try to never "give advice", but just relate something relevant that might give someone an idea about the subject, possibly a different point of view on the subject. That usually involves some aspect of my life, or I wouldn't feel qualified to speak about it. Some personal stuff is OK, but not to overdo it.
It's been very interesting to me to read how other people live.
What do you mean, you avoid posting? I see posts from you frequently.
I've not tried the ignore list, but I do scroll over several posters that rub me the wrong way.
I try to never "give advice", but just relate something relevant that might give someone an idea about the subject, possibly a different point of view on the subject. That usually involves some aspect of my life, or I wouldn't feel qualified to speak about it. Some personal stuff is OK, but not to overdo it.
It's been very interesting to me to read how other people live.
I was off 2 months, then one month recently, all self imposed. I was more frequent before that. I even avoid threads now.
I avoid negative people too. Did I tell you I cut off paid TV too.
Dude you have over 18,000 posts in a span of less than 5 years. I haven't been able to get that amount of postings in almost 15 years.
For others - an important note about sharing private information. Nothing is really private and anonymous over the internet.
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