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Old 09-26-2017, 12:13 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,555 posts, read 39,934,465 times
Reputation: 23688

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BTDT from age 18 - 50 caring for a parent...

Found this yesterday on C-D (somewhere) it is GREAT!!!
I AM NOT SICK, I DON’T NEED HELP!
Xavier Amador
Copyright 2010-2012 by Vida Press, L.L.C

https://www.nami.org/getattachment/L...ck_excerpt.pdf

When stable:
1) Walk
2) Walk some more (as effective as meds in most cases, but without the stigma / threat / illness / harm of drugs)
3) exercise (I like swimming, sometimes 4+ hrs non-stop) Bicycling ALL DAY!
4) Fine a friend kind enough to confront! Disciplined enough to hold accountable
5) Invest life / skills in others (If a successful business person, volunteer with SCORE (free help to businesses))
6) mentor others in your skillset (it is of no value to others ONLY available to YOU!)
7) Volunteer frequently with humanitarian aid (International and national)
8) Garden, or volunteer with gardening / growing (Something that illustrates the YOU are not in control... weather / disease / varmints / ... other stuff IS in control, and YOU need to accept / deal with it!)
9) Engage / let person know they are valued, important, and responsible for THEIR attitude / contribution / success
10) Remind them (gently) of the bodily stress they are placing themselves and others at risk. (and potentially GREAT expense / unnecessary pain / decrease to quality-of-life. )

It will / CAN be better (for all).

Get a very understanding and faithful pet (If you like to be stuck at home). My farm dog Labradors (4) have been great companions. The last one for 17 yrs! They can manage the home / farm for up to a month with me gone. Neighbor checks on them a couple times / week.
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Old 09-26-2017, 04:44 PM
 
242 posts, read 164,296 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
I commend the family for being concerned.
Maybe a subtle approach would be appropriate. Invite him out or have him help on a home project. My uncle struggled with retirement so us kiddos found asking for his skills...Hanging up closet doors or helping with the landscape kept him feeling important. He often comments when visiting on how good a job he did. (Which is true). Just tune into his talents and invite him to get involved.
This is a useful strategy and one that would work well for him. I'll keep that in mind when I need to do certain projects. Thanks!

Maybe I'll try to broach the subject with him again. In the meantime I might also try suggesting activities that I think he would like.
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Old 09-26-2017, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,088 posts, read 22,943,598 times
Reputation: 35213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xenah View Post
Excellent summary! I'd never heard Depression expressed so succinctly.
I disagree. It's more about feeling hopeless about the future, in my opinion.
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:27 AM
 
34,371 posts, read 41,455,107 times
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I got depressed after retirement ,started off ok as i had many hobbies to keep me occupied and much travel to accomplish but over the course of 10 years interest in just about everything waned.I basically became irrelevant, the kids grew up and moved away, my friends work during the week,my wife will work till she dies so most days are spent alone. i go to the gymn every day but that only takes up an hour,i do a lot of napping, and now to add to the depression my health is deteriorating rapidly which eliminates my abilities.
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:46 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,555 posts, read 39,934,465 times
Reputation: 23688
Purpose to make tomorrow better than today, and so on.

Make these the BEST yrs possible, they may be few.

Neither my spouse or myself wait around for the other to 'come-around / retire / accompany'. Both our parents suffered early disabilities. (Pre-age 50) we are on borrowed time, so living it strong.

The estate sale will be good, and wrap up a very productive lifespan ( and treat the survivor to more fun!)

Do want you can to stretch your talent, skills, body, willpower. Walk / bicycle to the gym and keep on going ALL day! Let your spouse beat you home! Take an adventure! Today!!
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Old 09-28-2017, 06:07 AM
 
34,371 posts, read 41,455,107 times
Reputation: 29861
Solid words to live by stealth but what does one do when the passion for that lifestyle is no more.
And everything becomes a boring repetition of been there done that.
There used to be a short quote (that i've forgotten) about living life to the fullest and come screeching in at the end saying what a rush, well i lived that hard lifestyle all my life with the bikes the sports cars the sex drugs and rock and roll, Now at 70 the fire has gone out and i cant think of a way to relight the passion of what once was.
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