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Old 09-30-2017, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,296,314 times
Reputation: 1988

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73 View Post
With due respect, since your spouse is doing the heavy lifting, financially speaking; and since you do not have to pay for your kids' health insurance - what the heck do you do with all your dough? With your salary, and getting a pass on the heavy lifting, I would have had a $600K retirement fund over that fifteen years regardless of kids' expenses. I speak from experience. If you DON'T have a $600K retirement fund saved up, where the heck did you blow the dough, to have nothing to show for it?

Sounds to me like your spouse has (rightly) concluded that he no longer wants the payments. Not to put too fine a point on it, I would feel the same way if the shoe were on the other foot.
I wasn't going to respond. However, I don't know where you get the idea that I never paid for my kids health insurance? LOL
I have other children from my first marriage and I paid dearly.....money wise and etc.
Please don't assume you know someone from the brief things I said.

You also have no idea what i have given up with the spouse i have now. You really are taking shots in the dark and it is not accurate at all.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:12 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,296,314 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by jane_sm1th73 View Post
Well, I guess so. You've lived off his largess for fifteen years, contributing nothing other than food expenses. That would be my definition of being treated like a "guest".
listen troll, you need to stop your nonsense. Find something construction to do instead of judging someone you don't even know. Good Lord!
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,296,314 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
Wow it's the first time I've been called an entitled princess. In most "happy" marriages there is more to the partnership than financial contributions. But I guess you wouldn't understand- you being divorced twice.
right?
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:01 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,922 posts, read 2,753,127 times
Reputation: 7158
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
I am almost 56. We do not have kids together. My son's father carries him on his policy.
My spouse will be 66 in May so will be going on Medicare.

and yeah, I am not happy about this either. Although it is no surprise that my spouse is this selfish.....after being together for 15 years now and married for 11 of those years I keep hoping that that part would change but that is just me being an optimist.
Or are you being pride foolish yourself?
His unwillingness to provide healthcare for you and let you fend for yourself when it comes to such a basic issue as healthcare speaks volumes about how he feels about you.
Perhaps it's time to re evaluate your marriage and your relationship now.
In 9 years you will be eligible for Medicare and your husband will be in his 70's and you will probably become his caregiver too while he has thrown you under the bus in this regard.
As for him "changing"? Just look at Donald Trump !
Elderly people get "settled" in their ways and don't change.
Best of luck to you.
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Old 10-01-2017, 03:59 AM
 
71,663 posts, read 71,801,099 times
Reputation: 49256
to bad we can't place bets on marriages lasting . i would sell this marriage short !

a good part of our retirement planning has always been about what my wife is comfortable with . she was a widow once already and has very different views about things than i do but i know her view is what counts . she wants nice simple investments that she can understand .

she wants a guaranteed source of income in place other than being totally dependent on markets and rates . she wants all the things she feels that are important that can be financially devastating to us mitigated with insurance . things like long term care and a full comprehensive supplement to go with medicare .

by the way today is day 1 for me on medicare and a supplement . i finally made it here .
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Old 10-01-2017, 04:12 AM
 
4,443 posts, read 2,618,160 times
Reputation: 10363
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
I am almost 56. We do not have kids together. My son's father carries him on his policy.
My spouse will be 66 in May so will be going on Medicare.

and yeah, I am not happy about this either. Although it is no surprise that my spouse is this selfish.....after being together for 15 years now and married for 11 of those years I keep hoping that that part would change but that is just me being an optimist.
1) pay down that debt quickly as,possible so you have room for insurance.
2) find a different job that DOES pay or help you with insurance.
3) can you say D-I-V-O-R-C-E?
No he's not going to change. Quit being the optimist.

I, in my late 20s early 30s, went through ALL my SAVINGS and RETIREMENT funds due to severe continuing medical issues. In my case I ultimately ended up being medically retired at age 40, and draw SSDI.

Your spouse's insensitivity can drive you to the poor house if spouse is not careful, and you and up with severe medical issues. I actually endedup HOMELESS, and lived under a RR BRIDGE NEXT TO THE TRACKS. Tell spouse THAT could happen to you BOTH if spouse doesn't buck up and work to provide you insurance!!!!

Best of luck with this insensitive louse.

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Old 10-01-2017, 04:19 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,613 posts, read 39,986,663 times
Reputation: 23757
Interesting that this thread turned into 'entitlements / relationships from the get-go, seldom to the OP ??... Which I assume would be a common and reasonable one to discuss.

It is a pretty "American" dilemma and one many are faced to deal with (statically ~20m uninsured adults under age 65) currently only 12m due to the artificial results of unsustainable A(?)CA.

Never did it seen the OP spouse proclaimed "U R on your own!" Just was villian-ized by many.

reality=
Spouse age 66 determined to 'retire', (commonly a good and even acceptable idea)
Dependent (?) spouse wants to know what to do about medical coverage (worthy concern)

Several options were given, but I find it very strange this populace would condemn the elder spouse.

Reality... figure out a solution (between the two of them...)

If I had a working spouse (which I never have had...) then it would be reasonable they have the income to add their own coverage, or the option to find a job that provides it. If not, there is a risk to mitigate. I assume a married couple can deal with that minor challenge and several options have been presented.

In worst case, the more youthful spouse will become one of the 12m uninsured adults under age 65 in USA. Imagine THAT! we have some additional company! (First time we have been uninsured in 46 yrs of employment, yet a LONG ways from age 65)

Welcome! join the crowd, don't feel alone! Don't feel slighted,

Be Happy and Be Healthy!

or...OP can 'semi-retire' and get PT job with benefits;
https://studentloanhero.com/featured...-time-workers/
https://www.moneycrashers.com/part-t...ance-benefits/
https://www.monster.com/career-advic...insurance-0816
These 11 companies offer 100% healthcare coverage | Fortune.com

These are but a few of your choices... MANY jobs offer subsidized HC, my last was ~50% and shrinking.
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Old 10-01-2017, 04:49 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
1,251 posts, read 593,791 times
Reputation: 2749
I will be retiring next year. I can stay on the state health insurance at the active employee cost, but I will lose vision and dental benefits. For me, these benefits are only marginally worth more than they cost anyway. Plan to buy glasses and contacts on the internet and pay out-of-pocket for exams. Look for a dental practice that offers its own plan. The main thing you are looking for with a dentist is regular cleanings and a discount on services beyond that. Be sure to put whatever money you were paying for insurance aside to cover what now will be out-of-pocket.
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Old 10-01-2017, 05:20 AM
 
Location: SW Corner of CT
1,950 posts, read 1,539,424 times
Reputation: 2438
I've read a couple responses, and it seems that some couples either split the bills, or have some arrangement with carrying an equal load. What ever happened to a couple working as a team.....all monies, regardless of who makes what, goes into the kitty, and bills get paid. I was hoping to retire at 62, and can keep Insurance for the both of us thru my job, just need to pay 100% of the cost......looking at the budget, it probably best if I go till 67 (if I can), and at that time, the Wife will be 64, and WE will foot the bill for a year. There is no way on this earth, I'd expect the Wife to start pulling her weight on her own....we are a team, and her dollar is as important as mine......I could never wrap my head around the "She has hers and I have mine" arrangements. As far as the OP, he won't help cover the cost of the Insurance ?.....being a married couple, wouldn't he also be responsible for the Medical Bills if you cannot pay them ?.....he might be better off just helping out his teammate, rather than roll the dice on your health.
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Old 10-01-2017, 05:39 AM
 
4,003 posts, read 3,224,645 times
Reputation: 13034
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
My spouse has been wanting to retire for a long time but full retire age would be 66 which will happen next May. We have talked allot about where we want to move to (Florida) But the insurance question never came up until last night.

My spouse pays the mortgage, utilities, internet (we have no cable any longer) property tax, home owners insurance and our work vehicles insurance.
I pay for all the groceries, the insurance on my two classic vehicles I inherited, our cell bill (which is 160 bucks a month! Argh ) The loan on my car, all my medical, dental and vision bills that are not covered by insurance, my cc debt and my minor son who will graduate next year, Thank God. LOL

My spouse makes twice as much money as me.
I dont understand why you are not addressing this. Your husband is retiring. It is probable (although you wont say) that his income will be going way down. He is still going to have to pay the above bills. Maybe additional money just isnt in the budget?

Its a matter of dollars and cents. How much will he be making? How much will he be contributing to the household? Is he still going to be paying the mortgage, property tax, utilities, internet, home owners insurance and auto insurance?
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