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Old 10-02-2017, 01:38 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,745 posts, read 7,027,781 times
Reputation: 14234

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Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Interesting that this thread turned into 'entitlements / relationships from the get-go, seldom to the OP ??... Which I assume would be a common and reasonable one to discuss.

It is a pretty "American" dilemma and one many are faced to deal with (statically ~20m uninsured adults under age 65) currently only 12m due to the artificial results of unsustainable A(?)CA.

Never did it seen the OP spouse proclaimed "U R on your own!" Just was villian-ized by many.

reality=
Spouse age 66 determined to 'retire', (commonly a good and even acceptable idea)
Dependent (?) spouse wants to know what to do about medical coverage (worthy concern)

Several options were given, but I find it very strange this populace would condemn the elder spouse.

Reality... figure out a solution (between the two of them...)

If I had a working spouse (which I never have had...) then it would be reasonable they have the income to add their own coverage, or the option to find a job that provides it. If not, there is a risk to mitigate. I assume a married couple can deal with that minor challenge and several options have been presented.

In worst case, the more youthful spouse will become one of the 12m uninsured adults under age 65 in USA. Imagine THAT! we have some additional company! (First time we have been uninsured in 46 yrs of employment, yet a LONG ways from age 65)

Welcome! join the crowd, don't feel alone! Don't feel slighted,

Be Happy and Be Healthy!

or...OP can 'semi-retire' and get PT job with benefits;
https://studentloanhero.com/featured...-time-workers/
https://www.moneycrashers.com/part-t...ance-benefits/
https://www.monster.com/career-advic...insurance-0816
These 11 companies offer 100% healthcare coverage | Fortune.com


These are but a few of your choices... MANY jobs offer subsidized HC, my last was ~50% and shrinking.
Bears repeating! And has a lot more valuable information than the "advice" and judgemental admonishments of the armchair marriage counselor wannabees here, LOL.
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Old 10-02-2017, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,293 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by newcomputer View Post
I think you are smart. Quit paying something he will miss and use the money towards your insurance. I have quit reading this thread. Yes your husband is being an a$$ but he is yours and marriage is more than having the perfect mate.


My husband did something similar. He changed jobs and would have had to pay more for me to be on the insurance so he dropped me. He was too embarrassed to tell me until I asked him one day if I needed a card. haha


You appear to have a good relationship with your son's father. That tells me something about the kind of person you are. I don't blame you for being irritated with your old curmudgeon but I have no doubt that you will figure things out.


good luck!
Thank you newcomputer

and you are correct
Hugs!
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Old 10-02-2017, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,293 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by StillRoaming View Post
In a few posts above, the OP and her husband discussed this last night. From her description, it sounds like he was receptive enough to listen to her concerns and she believes it will get worked out. A real jerk would not have listened to her. Great job, Cindyroos!

None of us know what goes on in anyone else's marriage. It's easy to judge, but we are only reading one side of the story likely written when the OP was upset. Who knows, maybe the husband came across as a jerk because he was worried the OP might want him to delay his retirement. Some people I know will avoid or verbally strike back in a seemingly jerkish manner when they feel you're coming between them and their plans. We don't know this couple's background, but we know he's a good provider because he pays most of the household bills.

Most of the time there's no designated good guy or bad guy in a marriage. Each has a degree of both good and bad. It's learning to work around your own and your spouse's good and bad that makes for a good marriage. Good communication is key, and the OP and her spouse are finally getting to the nitty gritty of the problem. Hope it works out for you, Cindyroos.
Thank you StillRoaming. You are right, I was very upset (taken aback) by my spouse's comments the night I asked about the insurance. It is hard, in text form, to express emotion sometimes as it can get taken many ways.

What you said here is all true and I appreciate that. I do know that my spouse can be very "me, me me" but it's true as a few have said that I knew that from the beginning. Being that I am an optimist I always try to make things better and hope for the best. I think we can work this out somehow and I am getting better at expressing exactly what I mean when we speak instead of sometimes "beating around the bush" LOL

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Old 10-02-2017, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,293 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by j7r6s View Post
In my opinion, it's not only your spouse being selfish. Your unstated expectation here is that your 66 year old spouse should work another 9 years until you're eligible for Medicare. Do you intend to work until you're 75, if you were in a position to retire sooner? Why is your current job more important than his retirement?
Apparently you did not read the rest of my posts. Try not to assume.
Thanks for chipping in though.
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Old 10-02-2017, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,293 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdogmom13 View Post
Wow, just wow.

The heck with MARRIAGE counseling; I think YOU need some counseling.


No one should feel like they've given up a lot of their happiness for another person; nor should they feel compelled to say that to their partner...
If you knew the full story dear, you would change your mind on that I'm sure.
Everyone that knows me, my kids, co-workers and friends also know the full story. I'm just not going to plaster it on this forum.

But heck, thanks for chipping in your 2 cents worth
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Old 10-02-2017, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,293 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
Bears repeating! And has a lot more valuable information than the "advice" and judgemental admonishments of the armchair marriage counselor wannabees here, LOL.
True that Travelassie! LOLOL

I guess if I would have just started this thread out as "Spouse retiring, I won't be insured after that, what did you do to find insurance, etc."

I really need to walk on glass around here.......God forbid I give a glimpse into my world. LOLOLOL

And Thanks Travelassie for your helpful advice. I do appreciate it 100%!!
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Old 10-02-2017, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Honolulu
1,356 posts, read 545,573 times
Reputation: 1102
You should start another conversation with your husband on this issue.

Since he only plans to retire next May or June, there are still nine months ahead and nothing has been finalized. Maybe you should suggest a compromising solution: He delays his retirement until your youngest son graduates from High School, then you will look for a job which health insurance is provided.

Unless he has health issue, otherwise 65 is still considered quite young nowadays and there should be no problem for him to continue working for another one or two years until you find the appropriate job.

All employers that hire over 50 workers by mandate have to provide health insurance to full time employees. Wisconsin has a record low unemployment rate -- so maybe you can find one. But of course age is a disadvantage. Many employers hesitate to select those job applicants who are older than 50.
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Old 10-02-2017, 06:07 PM
 
7,185 posts, read 2,752,994 times
Reputation: 3172
I'm a bit confused about the OP - if there is debt and bills that take everything to pay, how can he afford to retire? Or doesn't he think his money is supposed to go towards the family? Or what?
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Old 10-02-2017, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,142,854 times
Reputation: 37276
I don't think it's too unusual for second marriages to have separate finances. Particularly if one or both have children and or debts going into the marriage.
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Old 10-02-2017, 06:28 PM
 
4,572 posts, read 7,055,913 times
Reputation: 4222
At 56, these days you’ll be hard pressed to find another good paying job, I wouldn’t go that route. But I thought all employers were required to offer some sort of health insurance?
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