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Old 10-03-2017, 07:30 PM
 
292 posts, read 125,755 times
Reputation: 392

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
hey - wouldn't the more times you are married, the more experience you have? And know when to get out? lol

And yes, I've been married twice. Never again. And what about kids - I don't have any - but I was a kid once and know how I would want to have been raised.

Maybe the OP just came off wrong - scared about the situation? But she does work in the medical field sort of - so should have more knowledge than the regular joe off the street?
I cannot in all honesty answer if more marriage experience makes one a better, wiser partner. I have been married to the same person for over 30 yrs. The marriage has had its share of ups and downs....I consider this to be the normal course when living with another human being who also has their own needs, thoughts and opinions.

They say that "The more you know, the more you should realize that you know nothing".... one way or the other "Adulting" is hard, even with the best and noblest of intentions.

The only issue I had was how several posters seemed to take enjoyment out of lecturing the OP regarding her post. Too much projection onto the OP...it helps no one.
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Old 10-03-2017, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,295,245 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by lluvia View Post
Don't move to Florida.
There's a lot of hot enchiladas down here and from what I've deduced so far, your hubby has the 7 year itch x 2 and some change.
Unless you don't mind him straying.
omg, you guys are sooooooo funny!!!
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Old 10-03-2017, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,295,245 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celiene61 View Post
I cannot in all honesty answer if more marriage experience makes one a better, wiser partner. I have been married to the same person for over 30 yrs. The marriage has had its share of ups and downs....I consider this to be the normal course when living with another human being who also has their own needs, thoughts and opinions.

They say that "The more you know, the more you should realize that you know nothing".... one way or the other "Adulting" is hard, even with the best and noblest of intentions.

The only issue I had was how several posters seemed to take enjoyment out of lecturing the OP regarding her post. Too much projection onto the OP...it helps no one.
I love how sensible you are Celiene61

Thank you for posting your thoughts. You rock!!
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:29 AM
 
7,112 posts, read 9,347,648 times
Reputation: 8162
COBRA is a last resort for people with no other options. Any insurance provider can put together some packages for you to consider; and there are always the ACA exchanges. Start checking those out now; there is a cost penalty associated with going too long without coverage. Remember that healthcare premiums are a tax write-off.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Jollyville, TX
3,850 posts, read 9,442,230 times
Reputation: 4402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliffie View Post
COBRA is a last resort for people with no other options. Any insurance provider can put together some packages for you to consider; and there are always the ACA exchanges. Start checking those out now; there is a cost penalty associated with going too long without coverage. Remember that healthcare premiums are a tax write-off.
It really depends on how ACA friendly your state is. COBRA for me was $473 a month and the cheapest ACA policy I could get - bronze plan - was $622. There are a lot of variables so when people say COBRA is always more expensive, it's not always the case. Additionally, my Blue Cross plan thru COBRA offers things like an annual wellness visit, flu shots, mammograms etc that are 100% covered without a deductible. For me, it's a much better plan than what I can get through ACA. Obviously, that's not always going to be the case, but it definitely pays to compare before you make a decision.
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Old 10-04-2017, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,070 posts, read 19,013,423 times
Reputation: 24177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian_Lee View Post
Don't move to Florida. Move to Hawaii. Health care is almost an inalienable right in Hawaii. Employer must provide health insurance to any employee who works 20 hours per week. It has been law for decades.
I'd never heard of this, so I was curious. Generally your statement is accurate. BUT

  • Who is required to provide health care insurance coverage?
    All employers with one or more employees, whether full-time or part-time, permanent or temporary, are required to provide Prepaid Health Care Act coverage to their eligible employees in Hawaii unless the employees fall into an excluded category.
  • Who is excluded from health care insurance coverage?
    Individuals working less than twenty hours per week, agricultural seasonal workers, insurance or real estate salespersons paid solely by commission, individuals working for family members (son, daughter, spouse) or children under 21 working for their mother or father.
  • How much of the premium does the employer have to pay on behalf on an employee?
  • At least one-half of the premium as long as the employee contributes no more than 1.5% of their wages towards the premium.
Interesting program. The cost of living in HI might be more than the cost of the ACA premiums. . .
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Old 10-04-2017, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,070 posts, read 19,013,423 times
Reputation: 24177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonlady View Post
It really depends on how ACA friendly your state is.
Only partially true. The cost of healthcare has a lot to do with the cost of premiums under the ACA. So does your age. So does the cost of usage of those who are enrolled in the ACA (meaning: if you're in an area where lots of younger people enroll, the premiums will usually be less than in areas where most of those who are on the ACA are older folks.)

[quote=Moonlady;49721670]COBRA for me was $473 a month and the cheapest ACA policy I could get - bronze plan - was $622. There are a lot of variables so when people say COBRA is always more expensive, it's not always the case. [quote]

Totally agree. Though many people who are unemployed will qualify for subsidies to pay for the ACA. That may change the finances a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonlady View Post
Additionally, my Blue Cross plan thru COBRA offers things like an annual wellness visit, flu shots, mammograms etc that are 100% covered without a deductible. For me, it's a much better plan than what I can get through ACA.
You're incorrect. The ACA covers all of of those plus more with no deductible or co pay (and this is one of the big reasons the premiums are so high)

https://www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-adults/

https://www.healthcare.gov/preventive-care-women/

And let's not forget the free birth control pills. Why? Because it's preventative. (I have a seizure disorder and take anti-seizure medicine. Isn't that preventative too???? Not according to the ACA.)
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Old 10-09-2017, 12:46 AM
 
394 posts, read 157,047 times
Reputation: 1103
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
Thank you Ron, I am going to look into "The Marketplace" for ACA see what my options are. I just wish that this person who claims to love me would say "Hey, I know you will be without Health insurance when I retire so lets see what your options are and we will see how much it costs. Then we can work out how to afford it for you because I don't want you to be without insurance"
That is how it Should have gone last night when we talked.
This is his second marriage. Second marriages need to be well-thought about before the wedding.
You two are about 10-11 years apart. That is a considerable age difference. I am 61. I am already tired.
I definitely would be ready to retire at 65 or 66. I can't say that I blame him.

With respect to who is paying for what, I think it is interesting that for the duration of your marriage that he has paid for all of the major things. You pay for your son (probably with child support and your income) and for the food. Utilities? If so, good. He makes double, so he has been paying for the rest. I don't think he is being completely unreasonable.

He is saying that your expenses are yours, and his are his...typical of a second or third marriage...Why did you get married? You were in love and he made life easier financially? You would have had to pay for a mortgage and property taxes, or rent elsewhere. He provided health insurance. This allowed you to work at a job that you liked or loved. Did he love his job? Maybe, maybe not. Marriage was a good idea back then, so what has changed? How much money for insurance are we talking about? Check into the ACA insurance.

Now he will have a pension, and he is looking towards taking it easy, as "Tomorrow is not promised."

If I truly loved him, I would stay, as the situation is not a dire one. I would just keep in mind his "every man for himself" attitude and pay for my own insurance. Your son is getting older. He will soon be out of the house.


You might need to see a lawyer to see what rights you have to part of his pension, should he leave you. If your name is not on the deed to the house, and he has been paying all expenses related to his house, you have little claim on his home. Go see a lawyer! All states have different rules.

My husband retired at 61, and we still have to pay for insurance for both of us. We are only 5 months apart. We pay about $900.00 a month cash for both of us. We are uncertain what will happen for the 5 months when he switches over to Medicare. I guess we will have to get ACA insurance for me.

Don't take it too personally. If he had a former wife before you, he probably is not paying for her insurance as well. You can only expect to be treated as well as HE treated his prior wives. If he did not provide care for them, he will not provide well for you. "Past performance predicts future performance."

"Love is as good as it gets BEFORE the wedding." "Do NOT believe what men say, believe what they DO."

I would silently pay for my own insurance, and try to save as much money as I could for my exit. He may already be planning his.

Good luck.
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:44 AM
 
13,319 posts, read 25,561,639 times
Reputation: 20505
Quote:
Originally Posted by SportyandMisty View Post
The most cost effective way might very well be to purchase COBRA from your husband's workplace even if you (CindyRoos) need to pay for it out of your own earnings.
I believe COBRA is only for 18 months, max.
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Old 10-09-2017, 03:16 AM
 
71,568 posts, read 71,730,589 times
Reputation: 49168
depends on state . if the insurer is located in ny as an example and you work in ny it is 36 months . if the insurer is outside ny but you work in ny its is 18 months .

ny went to 36 months but only if the insurer is based here . i had only 18 months since we use a national company because we have offices in multiple states .i was counting on 36 months but right before i retired they switched to a national insurer
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