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Old 09-30-2017, 10:18 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,051,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
My mother was married 4 different times. The last time she got married (15 years ago) I said "Mom, I can't come to any more of your weddings". LOL
Anyway, I don't want to get divorced.

I know a relationship is over when you can answer "No" to this question:

"Will I miss them if we divorce?"

Anyway, I did not want to tell you all my whole life story as that would probably bore the crap out of everyone. However, I sacrificed allot of my own personal happiness to make my spouse happy (those that know me know my story or you could look at other posts if your curious) and when something like this insurance thing comes up and my spouse has this kind of attitude about it, it really makes me burn.
eh - you might miss them for a little while and after a while - you wonder why??

But you might also miss what they brought to the table.

Now my roommate - I would miss all the things he does - take care of my car, fix things around the house, take care of the yard, etc.

But I don't make him do those things. I tell him I'll pay someone to do that, but then he never likes how they do things -so round and round we go. Complains about having to take care of things, yet refuses to have anyone else do them - what is up with that??

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Old 09-30-2017, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Wow, that sucks. I can't imagine a spouse doing this to another. Was there any discussion on retirement before and how things would work? Do you share finances?
My spouse has been wanting to retire for a long time but full retire age would be 66 which will happen next May. We have talked allot about where we want to move to (Florida) But the insurance question never came up until last night.

My spouse pays the mortgage, utilities, internet (we have no cable any longer) property tax, home owners insurance and our work vehicles insurance.
I pay for all the groceries, the insurance on my two classic vehicles I inherited, our cell bill (which is 160 bucks a month! Argh ) The loan on my car, all my medical, dental and vision bills that are not covered by insurance, my cc debt and my minor son who will graduate next year, Thank God. LOL

My spouse makes twice as much money as me.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:20 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,051,434 times
Reputation: 12815
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbtondo View Post
OP: You're in a tough situation. You have a whole lot of life a head of you. You may want to consider your choices. Knew a woman that was 55 and was ready to leave her husband. She never did. They remained in a bad marriage until the day he passed in his 80's. Now in her 80's she's just starting to live her life. Sad...
yea - sad right?

A sibling's SIL finally left her hubby after 40 years. She is so happy - still in her early 60s. He was an ass and thought she would never leave. She feels like she wasted a lot of years.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbtondo View Post
OP: You're in a tough situation. You have a whole lot of life a head of you. You may want to consider your choices. Knew a woman that was 55 and was ready to leave her husband. She never did. They remained in a bad marriage until the day he passed in his 80's. Now in her 80's she's just starting to live her life. Sad...
I hear you.

It is not a bad marriage, just one where I feel like the guest in the house sometimes.

We did go to marriage counseling at one point too. It did shake my spouse up and things were better for a while but that selfishness creeps in again and I think WTF?
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
eh - you might miss them for a little while and after a while - you wonder why??

But you might also miss what they brought to the table.

Now my roommate - I would miss all the things he does - take care of my car, fix things around the house, take care of the yard, etc.

But I don't make him do those things. I tell him I'll pay someone to do that, but then he never likes how they do things -so round and round we go. Complains about having to take care of things, yet refuses to have anyone else do them - what is up with that??

That's a man for ya LOLOLOL
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,146,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
I am almost 56. We do not have kids together. My son's father carries him on his policy.
My spouse will be 66 in May so will be going on Medicare.

and yeah, I am not happy about this either. Although it is no surprise that my spouse is this selfish.....after being together for 15 years now and married for 11 of those years I keep hoping that that part would change but that is just me being an optimist.
So you expect him to work until he's 75 so you can stay with the job you like?
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:28 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,051,434 times
Reputation: 12815
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
I hear you.

It is not a bad marriage, just one where I feel like the guest in the house sometimes.

We did go to marriage counseling at one point too. It did shake my spouse up and things were better for a while but that selfishness creeps in again and I think WTF?
Has he been married before?

Is he going through some midlife crisis. Seeing himself getting older etc. Afraid of dying? Thinks he is missing out on something in life? Wants to spend his money on himself?
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
So you expect him to work until he's 75 so you can stay with the job you like?
Oh for heaven's sake, no, I don't expect my spouse to work until 75. Don't believe I said that or hinted towards it ()

What I did expect was my spouse to say that together we would find out what private health insurance costs and we how much my spouse could contribute towards that. Instead I get the "Well, I guess you'll have to go without health insurance " attitude.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:30 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,051,434 times
Reputation: 12815
Now if he were to have a heart attack or accident and kick off and die today or tomorrow - what would you do?

Would you have health insurance?
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,294,651 times
Reputation: 1988
I appreciate all of your replies although some made me say "What?" and some made me laugh and some offered very solid advice. Thank you , thank you.

I am going to check back on here later but in the mean time, I need to get some errands done.
Happy Saturday peeps!!
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