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Old 09-30-2017, 11:44 AM
 
8,186 posts, read 11,902,987 times
Reputation: 17952

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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
The OP has stated they have no children together. Her youngest son will graduate HS in May and his insurance is covered by his father. So the only one at risk here is the OP.
Yes, I saw that after I posted; hence why I immediately deleted my reply.

That said, I still think that the husband's position is horrible and that he doesn't understand what a marriage is. I couldn't imagine telling my wife that I'm doing what I want and I don't care how it affects her.
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,602 posts, read 1,312,212 times
Reputation: 4155
Default She never said

Quote:
Originally Posted by SCguy81 View Post
What a joke. Owe? So, you think the husband should purchase insurance for the wife, insurance that she is unwilling to purchase? She doesn’t want to change jobs. She doesn’t want to shop for insurance. I say from what we each have read he has done plenty for her over the years. Now it is time for retirement and she wants him to work so that she can continue to do as she pleases. Why should he sacrifice if she is unwilling to make changes?
She never said that she wanted him to work longer. I guess if the husband had a heart attack tomorrow, he would expect her to take care of him. Would serve him right if she refused. A good marriage is a partnership. Why shouldn't he help her find and pay for health insurance. If she had an accident or bad illness without health insurance- her jerk of a husband would be on the hook for the high cost of care-because they are married. No common sense.

Last edited by funisart; 09-30-2017 at 12:07 PM.. Reason: Spell
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:52 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,046,206 times
Reputation: 12810
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
She never said wanted him to work longer. I guess if the husband had a heart attack tomorrow, he would expect her to take care of him. Would serve him right if she refused. A good marriage is a partnership. Why shouldn't be help her find and pay for health insurance. If she had an accident or bad illness without health insurance- her jerk of a husband would be on the hook for the high cost of care-because they are married. No common sense.
Yes - it is strange that he isn't taking that into consideration. The guy is probably at loose ends looking for some kind of excitement or something in his golden years.

Like he just wants to slip away from responsibilities - but who doesn't?
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,873 posts, read 23,139,610 times
Reputation: 37276
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda View Post
Yes, I saw that after I posted; hence why I immediately deleted my reply.

That said, I still think that the husband's position is horrible and that he doesn't understand what a marriage is. I couldn't imagine telling my wife that I'm doing what I want and I don't care how it affects her.
If indeed that was the tone/gist of the discussion there are significant issues at play. More than health insurance. But the OP needs to realize the options as he laid them out are, in fact, the options. She may well have to step up her contribution.

I'm not taking this position to be "mean". I will find myself in a similar position at some point (although I do currently carry our health insurance) as my husband is older than I am. I will need to continue working after he retires in order to cover myself.
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Old 09-30-2017, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,684 posts, read 36,118,702 times
Reputation: 63246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Marriage should be team work, so when major life changes happen there should be discussion well in advance of what the plan is.
This. Right here.

My husband is about 5 years older than me and he wants to retire when he's 66 - and I'll be 61 so we'll have to figure out how to pay for my insurance privately. We have discussed this in depth. If the cost for private healthcare coverage is insurmountable I'll have to go back to work (I quit working a couple of years ago to take care of our elderly parents' needs).

Who knows what will be happening with the medical and insurance industries by then? It's a crap shoot. Heck, we don't even know what will be happening a year from now.

OP, I get why you're irritated with your husband's response but considering you don't want him to keep working just to provide your insurance, and considering it's foolish (and has negative tax ramifications) to go without health insurance) it sounds like the two of you just need to put a financial plan together and figure out how to pay for private insurance for just you - which is going to be expensive - or you need to find another job with better healthcare benefits.
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Old 09-30-2017, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
9,988 posts, read 16,655,709 times
Reputation: 6399
I think the OP should look for employment that offers health insurance. Her son is a HS senior, it's not clear to me why she needs to be close to his school - she really needs to reconsider that requirement,
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Old 09-30-2017, 12:59 PM
 
1,831 posts, read 2,135,159 times
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My wife was in the same position. Although over the years I informed her of my retirement and how that affected her she never made any attempt to provide for her basic needs in retirement. Fortunately I was able to step up and cover the $600 per month insurance cost. My retirement was less so due to the lack of preparation on her part.
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Old 09-30-2017, 01:02 PM
 
30,065 posts, read 47,304,581 times
Reputation: 16009
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilot1 View Post
While your spouse does sound a bit insensitive, or at least that is how you are conveying it, why do you think he OWES you health insurance, or anything for that matter? I though marriages were a partnership. We all sometimes have to do things we don't want, nor like. You may have to find another job, or at least pay for a group plan.

Wasn't Obamacare supposed to fix all this?
You have a very different idea of what being married involves than I do
There is no "partnership" in this marriage
The husband is doing what he wants--gets to keep his health insurance--and says ********* to the wife
Not much equality in that relationship at all to my way of thinking...
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Old 09-30-2017, 01:07 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,046,206 times
Reputation: 12810
so I took up the OP's offer to read her previous posts - I am retired and just waiting for an appointment.

Anyway - they had discussed this in the past and she said she would have to keep working and get her own insurance.

"I will probably have to find a job in Florida when we move just so we can have health insurance"

So they were once on the same page - I guess. Maybe reality is hitting him? She seems okay with it?
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Old 09-30-2017, 01:15 PM
 
5,425 posts, read 3,442,945 times
Reputation: 13698
The OP needs to purchase health insurance through the Affordable Care Act (ACA) also called Obamacare.

The rest of this long discussion is somewhat senseless. Criticizing her husband, the state of her marriage, and suggesting divorce does not seem helpful at all - and she said she is not interested in divorce!!

I think suggesting divorce is way off the rails - especially when the OP says she loves her husband and definitely doesn't want a divorce.

If she does not purchase health insurance through the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), then she needs to try to find a job that provides health insurance.

Another alternative, though not a very good one - many cities have free health clinics for people without insurance where they charge very minimal fees, often free or on a minimal sliding scale. This does not, of course, cover catastrophic medical events, but covers other smaller medical problems. Milwaukee may have one or two of these clinics (doctors volunteer their time). Minneapolis has had two of them.

Also per dental care, cities like Milwaukee usually have very low cost dental care at a university which provides DDS dentistry degrees. Minneapolis (University of Minnesota) has this service connected with their dentistry degree program.

Minnesota has been providing another health insurance option. I haven't checked Wisconsin, but I will do so later today for you.

(Also the OP seems to be financially dependent upon her husband in other ways. He pays for the mortgage and many other expenses. A woman who is financially dependent upon her husband needs to work with whatever he provides. The amount of money she has of her own is unclear. Yes, I know she has a job and a salary. Financial dependence often governs what options a woman has in her life.)

(I'm not clear on whether her husband will be provided health insurance in his retirement by the job he is retiring from, in addition to Medicare (And apparently, if so, his wife & a child that is not his will obviously not also be covered by that job-provided insurance in his retirement) (P.S. an insurance agent can also help you in your purchase)

Last edited by matisse12; 09-30-2017 at 02:05 PM..
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