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Old 10-08-2017, 03:59 PM
 
5,433 posts, read 3,475,777 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I admit that one thing that scares me about woman my age is also what scares me about myself and that is health. I nursed my wife through lung cancer for 5 year with the last year being rather tough. When she died, I told myself I would never put myself in that position again. Now I know one can get ill at any age but the older one gets, the more likely illness will strike .I see many of my friends in their early to mid-70's starting to slow down and aging fast. Some of them drastically so.

One of my male friends lost his wife to cancer at age 60. He met another lady his age (60 at the time) about 10 years ago and is now he is going through it with her. That scares the he!! out of me.

I do not want to end up caring for someone nor burdening them to care for me. I would want to keep it nice, polite, casual, etc. (as I am doing with my present friend) so one or both of us can walk away with no regrets if it becomes burdensome.

Not meaning to sound cruel though to some I am probably sounding such.
For some people, once reaching a certain age, the acceleration of aging occurs. It can be like a train speeding up.

There are plenty of things to worry about in aging past 70, 75, 80+. I'm trying to master not thinking about those worries!

I do know what you mean above.

One big divide is those who are still able to do physical recreational activities (listed as desirable on dating sites and elsewhere) and those who cannot. So many of the activities suggested (and in this thread too) are physical - hiking, bicycling, kayaking, walking distances, exertive travel etc. To the OP: I've noticed many older men on the dating websites pride themselves on doing physical activities such as hiking and bicycling (just as examples) - so if your 73 yr old Mom is not physical in terms of exertive activities, she may be eliminated from consideration by a good number.

Last edited by matisse12; 10-08-2017 at 04:59 PM..
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Old 10-08-2017, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Somewhere, out there in Zone7B
4,898 posts, read 6,367,099 times
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How about seeing if there's a meetup.com group for people her age that has something she's interested in. I had started a meetup group for 50-60 year old singles a few years ago and you have no idea how many people have gotten married due to meeting in this group. If there isn't a meetup group in her area, she could easily make a group herself!
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Old 10-09-2017, 04:28 AM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,779 posts, read 2,579,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
What is wrong with a 73 year old woman dating a 90 year old man?

It is not a huge age difference.
As a woman (younger than the woman in your scenario), I can see myself with a man 17 years my junior, but never 17 years my senior.
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:51 AM
 
482 posts, read 402,444 times
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I know of 2 such relationships (woman 47/man 64, woman 61/man 86) who have been together many years - from back when the women were in their 20's, and the husbands were handsome, vigorous middle-aged men. *

Actually, both men have taken good care of themselves and look younger than their real ages, but the point is that the younger wife has had years to get used to him getting old.

Whereas, I don't see any 60-year-old woman just being attracted to an elderly man, who isn't strong and good-looking any more. Attraction would take a long time to develop. If it happened fast, I would suspect somebody's motives. Same with older woman/younger man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
As a woman (younger than the woman in your scenario), I can see myself with a man 17 years my junior, but never 17 years my senior.
*To forestall the usual assumptions, neither man was "rich."
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:28 AM
 
914 posts, read 535,435 times
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The women I know in your mother's position have no interest in getting married again as they do not want to be a nurse for another dying husband. Has she considered that if she meets someone around her age that is a very real possibility?

I'd join a Meetup. Also, local city rec departments have a lot of great activities for active seniors. A friend met someone on a day trip to a winery but they also have other things besides day trips.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:35 AM
 
7,176 posts, read 1,820,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassygirl18 View Post
That brings me to my question. She recently put herself on a dating site geared toward people of her religion, and that site doesn't seem to have a ton of activity. So far, she's only been contacted by 90 year old men, which is a tad old for her.
That is interesting that there are 90 year old men perusing online dating sites. Who would have thought.
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Old 10-09-2017, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
9,053 posts, read 7,818,992 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackwinkelman View Post
That is interesting that there are 90 year old men perusing online dating sites. Who would have thought.
It is more between their ears then their............
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Phila
458 posts, read 859,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
I've tried several dating sites over the years. I am not ugly, obese, etc.

I have yet to meet more than a couple of men. I'm not sure what they are looking for that I didn't have.

I wish good luck to the OP's mother.


Irishcopper: I think your success is typical for the MALES who are looking.
Same here, as a male I've met just one in the last year. One problem is women get lots of emails and even the 5's wrongly get the impression they are 10s, because there is such an imbalance. Men do most of the pursuing. Some women I think are on there just to inflate their egos and use every camera trick in the book to hide their unwanted lbs/age, etc.

Ironic thing. Many will say in their profile, they don't want to receive one word/short responses (understandably), but no matter how much thought you put into a response, you might get ignored...and/or it comes down strictly to looks. Then some fat avg looking woman will message you "hi". Literally. Women seem to have a bias towards looking for things they don't like and have extensive checklists. Men are overlooking the differences and trying to find the commonalities.

My experiences in my 20s-30s were much better, but still the same exact things happened, but I just managed to meet more people. Not as many interest me now.
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:46 PM
 
4,417 posts, read 907,589 times
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I know a 95 year old woman who just came back from a trip with her 63 year old lover. Not companion, not boy friend, but lover, and she makes sure everyone knows it.

Good for her!
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Old 10-09-2017, 01:54 PM
 
72,219 posts, read 72,173,749 times
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it is pretty depressing when i think that my cougar has to be like 80 now.
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