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And I am only 62. But I counted them up one day and the number of friends and family who are deceased far out number the ones remaining ''above ground''.
I remember talking to my then 90 year old mother-in-law a few years before her passing in 2006 and she told me that she really didn't mind dying now because she ''didn't know anybody anymore from my crowd'' as she called them.
I am starting to feel this way some days myself.
Last edited by HappyDogToday; 10-08-2017 at 04:10 AM..
I think if a person lived in one area for most of their life they will know many more people than people that moved a lot. The type of work you did also plays a part. Did you work in a small office with 43 people or in manufacturing with thousands? Did you have 1 employer most of your work life or keep changing companies? Add in the 2000 or so I went to school with, all of the people you have known socially over the years, business owners you patronized for decades, neighbors, in laws of siblings, spouses of cousins., people from church.
When living in one area you don't just know that person. When young you know their parents and maybe the grandparents. When old you know the children and maybe the grandchildren. Even now after relocating I know many of the friends and families of people in my condo association, members of the same clubs, and people that do the same activities.
In my family everyone from the generations before me are dead, the last of 25 aunts and uncles died last year, and 7 of my cousins and some of their spouses have died.
When I read the hometown newspaper it is rare I don't see a name I have a connection to. Certainly not all friends but people I've known for years or their parents, children and siblings, friends of my siblings etc.
And I am only 62. But I counted them up one day and the number of friends and family who are deceased far out number the ones remaining ''above ground''.
No, not really. Although for my age about 5.4 times as many friends with have passed as should have based on the averages. If anything it allows you to be better at both cherishing the moment and allowing you to let go.
In 2015 in a 3 month span, my partner and I lost all of our previous generation (at ages 92, 91 and 100). Made us realize that we're next (us and our siblings).
Someone has a thread here about being less worried about money in retirement....for us, those deaths were a wake-up call to us that we have over-saved and under-spend. Need to part ways with our assets faster. You can't take it with you!
HappyDogToday, It feels that way to me too. Part of it is that my husband and I are loners. I don't really count "people I know of" as being the same thing as "people I know". I also moved around a lot and lost touch with people I knew in my past so those people tend to fall into the "people I know of" category.
This has been a year for us losing relatives (our brother-in-law just died in September. Our niece just died in August) so it is not surprising we are feeling this way.
Of course, I am practically 80. Most of the people I knew well or were related to are deceased. As for those thousands and thousands I was acquainted with or rubbed shoulders with in my life, who knows...by and large I know nothing about them at this point.
Perhaps if I had returned to my small town after college it would have been different, but I went from university in a small city to an adult life in Manhattan (with many job changes, some traveling, a few changes of neighborhood and in a city like NYC these were often like moving to another town or state - broken continuity.) And then Europe.
A life like a book of short stories with the other characters dropping by the wayside as they go along.
George Burns was asked why he dated young girls and not women his age. He replied, "There ARE no women my age."
It is a surprise to me that I have outlived so many friends.
Imagine how my 99 Year old FIL feels?
I understand where you're coming from HappyDogDay. (Love that name ) I've had three people I know die this last month. I have only two seniors left out of the ten that were in my life about a decade ago. I dread to see what the next decade will be like.
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) I've had three people I know die this last month. I have only two seniors left out of the ten that were in my life about a decade ago. I dread to see what the next decade will be like.
