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Old 10-09-2017, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,760 posts, read 10,832,098 times
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We moved from the Central Florida Coast to the Florida Panhandle Coast 5-6 years ago (2-3-years into retirement) - to get closer to the grandkids here and in Canton, Ga.. I knew the move would be difficult (more traffic, colder weather, loss of established friends, activities and ministry) ... and it has been.

For those considering such a move, I would encourage you to recognize that re-establishing a post-network circle of reliable friends is much more difficult than earlier in life. Except for church, few of the familiar links of kids, career, social groups, etc. still readily exist. Also, by retirement time, most people have a longtime circle of friends - and becoming part of those circles as a newcomer - is difficult. Also, post-move, the old axiom, "you can't go back home again" is true! (life behind also moves on).
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,095 posts, read 3,456,394 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
The hardest was country to country and dealing with a new culture but it seems each move we've had over the years , 5 times different states, it averaged out to 6 months.
Surprisingly it was our move to Lake Chapala that was the easiest as far as making friends. But expats reached out to us, as did our MXN neighbors. Now, when we run into 'newbie' expats, I reach out to them. This is not unique to expats in Mexico; friends of ours have had the same experience in Costa Rica and Europe. And it's not US expat to US expat. Here, most expats are Canadian. My friends in CR and Europe are US citizens but their expat neighbors are Brits and the locals are friendly to them too.
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,071,114 times
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I moved from Phoenix to Prescott, an hour away. Have been here 7 months and still get lost in the car occasionally. It takes effort to become accustomed to new stuff as you get older. I still tend to inadvertently write my old address at times. The people here are very nice and it's a senior community. I have a couple friends but they are more like acquaintances. Have not found a good dentist yet. Have a NP for medical but would like an MD. Am at the final stages of remodeling, so am starting to do volunteer work, to try to get more comfortable. Thankfully the grocery is the same.

I plan to live here forever and need to be patient. I think I will feel like this is home in about 2 years. Time is flying by, so it feels ok.
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Old 10-09-2017, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Central Maine
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My wife and I lived in northern Virginia for about 30+ years, and worked in DC. We retired in '08, and waited for the housing market to recover before putting our house up for sale in September of 2014. It sold in 11 days for a little bit more than we had anticipated, and we were very pleased.

We moved to Maine, to a place on a lake and in a community we knew very little about. I had vacationed in Maine every year as a kid; as an adult, I took my wife (and later, wife and kids) to Maine for summer vacation. My wife ended up loving Maine as I did. We talked about it - a lot - and decided to move to Maine because of our past experiences in Maine.

But it was a HUGE change. We live in rural Maine ... my first-ever well and septic system. And over the course of the last three years here in Maine, both the well and septic failed - we replaced them. We had a propane-fueled, whole-house, back-up generator installed, and it's been great to have when our power goes out. We also had a pellet stove installed, to supplement our primary heat source, an oil boiler with forced hot water heat. We gutted and replace the kitchen - the kitchen was barely functional, but the new kitchen is excellent.

We knew, based on the inspection, that we'd have to replace some of the systems noted above. The other items took us by surprise, but we weathered the storm.

We have great neighbors. Completely by accident, we managed to move into an unofficial 55+ community, and it's nice to have contemporaries with whom we share common experiences (albeit in very different geographic areas).

We love the house ... now that everything is working.

It did take us a while to find our way around here ... where could we get reasonable groceries, who's a good doctor, a good dentist, a good mechanic.

It was the longest move in terms of distance, and the most life-changing move in terms of ... literally everything, that we had ever done.

And we're very happy to have done it. Maine is beautiful, the people are good, down-to-earth, *nice* folks, and we're enjoying the hell out of the place. This is now a regular summer place for friends and family to come, to visit us and to enjoy the lake, the coast, the mountains ... well, if they didn't like it, I doubt they'd keep coming back.

Settled? Well, by one measure, we're not settled quite yet - at least, not settled in the way people are settled after 30+ years in one place. By another measure, the measure of feeling that this is home, we've been settled since we walked through the front door.

BUT, I'm very thankful for my cell phone's GPS !
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Old 10-09-2017, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,939 posts, read 5,295,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drift Away View Post
I retired in January and we moved to an active adult community in another state in April. It was a whirlwind of packing and selling one house while renovating a new one. Now that most of the hard work is done, we're starting to take time to explore the area and socialize more within the community. It's a bigger adjustment than maybe I realized. For those of you that made a move, what was your adjustment period like and how long did it take you to feel settled in?
I think it just gradually grows over time. It will be easier in an Active Adult community since everyone is from someplace else.

It wasn't long before I felt like I belonged here. Months maybe.

Much will depend on you and the area. Are you going to take advantage of all your new community has to offer or will you sit home? Are you a people person or a loner? Is your community near a major metro area or out of the way?

If you like people and like to try new things it will be a breeze.
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Old 10-09-2017, 06:20 PM
 
Location: in the clouds, of course!
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You'll feel settled after about 6 months. But that feeling that you're really "home" will take about three years. Many people I've talked to who've moved a lot have said the same thing. 3 years.

It's when you finally realize that picture should go there, not THERE. And, the bathroom would be perfect in blue, not beige. It's weird.
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,756,220 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dothetwist View Post
We research and research and research all big decisions and moving is a HUGE one.

In the 10 years leading up to our retirement, we vacationed to spots we thought we'd like to live after retirement. Picked our top 3. After we sold our home and retired (ages 50/51), we went to all 3 and rented a vacation home for a month in each of them. Picked our top choice...after a few more months of renting, we purchased a few doors away and already knew our 'new' neighbors.

We opted for a series of 5 year plans in retirement (retired in 2003) and did the same thing for subsequent moves and purchases. All have been winners....and we got to know people as we visited then rented, before we purchased. All our retirement venues have been small artsy funky liberal towns.
Seems like a lot of work, but I'd say these rentals were very wise. Sure it all worked out, but if it was a disaster, you weren't stuck because you bought a house.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:13 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,827 posts, read 18,832,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylark116 View Post
You'll feel settled after about 6 months. But that feeling that you're really "home" will take about three years. Many people I've talked to who've moved a lot have said the same thing. 3 years.

It's when you finally realize that picture should go there, not THERE. And, the bathroom would be perfect in blue, not beige. It's weird.
Having moved to different locales a few times, what you're saying sounds about right. I've just moved out of state, been here just over a month, and this is NOT home. Not one single bit. Most of my time has been taken up finding doctors, researching Medicare plans, changing addresses, getting internet, and finding my way around. The topography is totally different here and it's something I'm not used to.

I want to go back "home" when I need new clothes because I know where to get the best deals. I also hated the person who cut my hair and want my former stylist back. But this is the final stage of retirement, hopefully the last move ever. Moved here because there is a little bit of family nearby and that seems better than roughing it on our own in a little cottage at the beach--that era was fun but we're getting too old to take too many risks.

I'd like to feel that this is my home at Christmas. Right now it feels like a foreign country!
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:48 PM
 
10,812 posts, read 8,056,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRR View Post
We moved from Florida to Tennessee earlier this year. I would say within a month we felt right at home and settled in. We had scoped out the area pretty well before we made the move, so the adjustment time was not long for us.
This was our experience. In fact it didn't take a month, it was immediate. Like you, we had taken the time and steps to be sure it was the right place for us.

I retired in 2011, DH in 2013, and we moved here this past winter from the town where we had lived together for 35+ years, DH's hometown in fact, where all our extended family still lives. So you'd think we'd have some adjustment pangs and occasional homesickness.

Nope. Not even a twinge.
We moved into a regular neighborhood though, and not an "active adult community". I'm not sure we would ever have adjusted to one of those. We have wonderful neighbors of all ages around us. Our new home is in an intown 'historical district' which turns out to have far fewer school-age children and teens than we were used to, but there are adult - both couples and singles - of all ages. It works for us, we didn't want to be surrounded by all retirees or by all young families.

Last edited by biscuitmom; 10-09-2017 at 09:57 PM..
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,081 posts, read 22,924,480 times
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It takes me at least a year now to just unpack and organize my space. I moved into my new apartment here in May, and still haven't hung my pictures or finished unpacking or organized my craft room (which I'm using my bedroom for). I have really nice large pieces sitting on furniture, which is actually acceptable and looks okay, but I do intend to actually hang them eventually.

I just don't sweat the small stuff and don't push it physically. So, I do my main organizing and decorating so my main living space is decent and the kitchen and bathroom are decent and I function well enough. But, tweaking the decorating or organizing details takes me longer now.

And I'm kind of a loner and only have so much energy, so I spend it on my space first. Then, I start considering venturing out for social activities. So, depending on your definition of settling in, it takes me at least a year, and more like two and maybe even three. But, that doesn't bother me. I don't have anyone around to judge me about the fact that my craft room is still full of boxes that haven't been unpacked - and that's the way I like it. It's more important for me to pace myself physically and even mentally - dealing with social stuff stresses me out, so I tend to put it off.

I've learned not to push it. There's no rule that says I can't decide today to just walk my dog and make homemade tortillas and forget about the unpacking or looking up volunteer activities. I suggest just relaxing. Don't be in a hurry or worry about it.
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