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Cemeteries made sense when families all resided together in a single community for their whole lives, attended the same church, lived in the same house they grew up in or down the street from mom and dad. Nowadays, families are scattered all over, choosing (or in some cases required) to move to wherever the jobs and other opportunities may be. Young people will relocate several times during the course of a career, possibly even out of the country.
So no one is left to visit or maintain family plots. My father is buried in PA, my mother in NY. I wouldn't even know how to find their graves if I had to, and why would I want to. Their memories serve me just fine.
I think you should save the money. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Return to the earth as scattered cremains, don't hog up real estate for such a useless purpose.
Why do ashes need a cemetery plot? Seems like such a waste of money. Do you expect people to visit? Just wondering. I have family who thought family would visit their graves regularly......no one knows where most of those graves are now! So clearly no one is visiting.
Since you're being cremated, do you really need to pay to house your ashes? Seems a waste of money. Why not instruct for your ashes to be given to your family for scattering somewhere.
Is your family really going to visit your ashes on a regular basis?
Why do ashes need a cemetery plot? Seems like such a waste of money. Do you expect people to visit? Just wondering. I have family who thought family would visit their graves regularly......no one knows where most of those graves are now! So clearly no one is visiting.
Its not a plot, its a niche, for the ashes. a plot is for the body. The niche is like a little PO box, with name, dates, etc. I don't want my kids to have to carry the ashes around with them, or figure out when/where to dispose of them. Its a final detail I don't want them burdened with. Also, well, that's just what we want done with our remains. I highly doubt anyone will come to "visit" us, but if they do, they have a nice place to visit!
It seems we have veered off-topic here, folks! Although the comments are interesting, they're not quite what I'm asking. I'm not asking whether you would want to be interred or scattered. I was asking if you would buy your niche/grave now, or let your family buy it once you're deceased, out of your life insurance proceeds? I see it as an additional burden on my kids, and frankly, I have some doubts if they would spend the life insurance proceeds on us, or go blow it on themselves!
Should we buy our burial niches now? My dh is 64, I'm 63. We're not planning on using the niches anytime soon, but.....one never knows We've opted for cremation and have chosen the cemetery {where} we wish to be immured<>
You should make all arrangements now, not under the pressure of the moment. I worry about this myself.
I was not familiar with the word immured so I looked it up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immurement
It reminded me of this story: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cask_of_Amontillado
Except of course, you will not suffer, being dead already.
I can only guess at how you arrived at this idea of final resting places for your ashes. I suspect that your funeral center has adopted this word for their purposes. I could not find a definition online that refers to disposition of human cremains by immurement.
Wiki defines: "Cremated remains (aka "cremains" or simply, "ashes"), which do not constitute a health risk, may be buried or interred ** in memorial sites or cemeteries, or they may be retained by relatives and dispersed in various ways."
I did attend a church at one time that had a niche wall in a quiet garden, but I can't imagine supporting a commercial operation with thousands of dollars for this purpose. Just scatter my ashes at the nearest ski area.
Your wishes for funeral and final disposition should be made in a letter, not your will, since it is an especial problem if things did not go as planned. Arrangements in a will would be enforceable by the courts, so they'd have to, perhaps, dig you back up and burn the body, an expensive and onerous prospect.
But, suit yourself, and yes, do make arrangements now.
** FIL made arrangements twenty years ago for his coffin and that of his wife to be put away in crypts at a memorial building near their present home. I suggested they would therefore be"encrypted", but nobody got it.
<>he burial directive in my will says to cremate me, dump my ashes in the bay, and put a marker on my mother's grave site.<>
I should probably pre-pay my mother's other cremation/burial expenses before she runs out of money.<>
Excellent idea on your mom's arrangements.
Elsewhere in the thread I commented on why disposal should not be specified in your will, instead put it in a letter to your executor.
So when was the last time you visited the site of your parents or grandparents? I actually know where my maternal family is all located and I've not been there since 1991. My Dad is in a Military Cemetery and I have not been there since the funeral.
Sad waste of space.
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We've opted for cremation and have chosen the cemetery {where} we wish to be immured<>
