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<>FYI scattering ashes in technically illegal in many cases.<>
You have a good plan.
People should review the laws of their State to determine how to go about scattering ashes. Generally it is permitted on private property with the owner's permission.
From a web site:
"Public land such as parks, public gardens and streets all have their own rules
and regulations that have been set by the town. No state or federal laws exist
about spreading ashes on these types of property. Check with the town officials
if you want to spread ashes in these areas. Spreading cremated ashes on
uninhabited public land such as rural woods is generally allowed,
but you should also check with town officials.
Follow general etiquette and refrain from scattering ashes on trails or
obvious places because some people find scattering cremated remains offensive."
Mount Snowden in England has become such a popular place for cremains that it has affected the local soil conditions at the peak.
The OP has her advice. This question is just for discussion. Why keep the ashes at all? So what if they are sold or misplaced or spilled on the floor? Ashes are meaningless. Your loved one lives on in your heart and mind.
In some ways they are, but in some way they aren't. I can't really explain why, but at least for my family, having my dad's ashes interred in a location that we can go visit has brought comfort, especially for my mom. She also is glad that she's made her own arrangements now based on what we did when my dad died - she picked out a double urn, so when the time comes (hopefully many years from now), her ashes will get put in that urn, and her name will be added to the plaque. And she knows that we will still come and "visit" and relax and contemplate and remember, the way she does now.
That may not work for you and your family but it clearly works for many people, or cemeteries wouldn't be creating these areas, they are the most popular option at the cemetery where my dad is. So while he of course lives on in our hearts and memories, we appreciate the opportunity to have a specific place for remembrance as well. It happens to be a particularly beautiful location, it's been around for well over 100 years with many historic graves from my state's early days, and people go there to take tours of the gorgeous landscaping because it's so lovely.
My parents were cremated, but insisted on buying a cemetery plot and having their ashed buried. They set everything up and paid in advance, which was good because we had to do little. However, the plots are 1,200 miles away from where I now live, in a place I never lived, and it is highly unlikely I will ever visit their graves. So, my wife and I will be cremated one day and our ashes spread.
In some ways they are, but in some way they aren't. I can't really explain why, but at least for my family, having my dad's ashes interred in a location that we can go visit has brought comfort, especially for my mom. She also is glad that she's made her own arrangements now based on what we did when my dad died - she picked out a double urn, so when the time comes (hopefully many years from now), her ashes will get put in that urn, and her name will be added to the plaque. And she knows that we will still come and "visit" and relax and contemplate and remember, the way she does now.
That may not work for you and your family but it clearly works for many people, or cemeteries wouldn't be creating these areas, they are the most popular option at the cemetery where my dad is. So while he of course lives on in our hearts and memories, we appreciate the opportunity to have a specific place for remembrance as well. It happens to be a particularly beautiful location, it's been around for well over 100 years with many historic graves from my state's early days, and people go there to take tours of the gorgeous landscaping because it's so lovely.
It's an individual choice, but the way the post above is written and the way it reads, it very much sounds like a commercial or advertisement propagated by the funeral business and/or whoever is selling these little Post Office sized mail slots to hold ashes at a cemetery.
And the double urn as symbolism.....when you're dead you're dead - having your ashes in a double urn is useless, although I realize it might give comfort to those who choose it. Does anyone see the double urn where it is housed at a cemetery, or is the urn secreted behind the plaque put on the little mail slot?
All of these actions surrounding immurement of ashes into purchased little slots appear to be actions based on not being able to face death for what it is or a caving-in to profit-making organizations surrounding death, including useless worrying about what may become of one's ashes if they are given to a relative to keep at home.
Last edited by matisse12; 11-08-2017 at 10:22 AM..
It's an individual choice, but the way your post above is written and the way it reads, it very much sounds like a flowery commercial or advertisement propagated by the funeral business and/or whoever is selling these little Post Office sized mail slots to hold ashes at a cemetery.
And the double urn as symbolism.....when you're dead you're dead - having your ashes in a double urn is useless. Does anyone see the double urn where it is housed at a cemetery, or is the urn secreted behind the plaque put on the little mail slot? Perhaps the double urn is less expensive too than two separate urns.
All of this appears to be actions based on not being able to face death for what it is, including useless worrying about what may become of one's ashes if they are given to a relative to keep at home.
"It's an individual choice but I'm going to attack your choice anyway."
Go away.
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