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Carson City / Genoa. Pretty, close to Lake Tahoe, and Reno not that far if a bigger city is needed (does not have the character though of San Fran). Plus it close enough to San Francisco that we make trips there as needed.
The choice was for a mish-mash of reasons, bottom line we both felt like we could be happy there.
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This thread got to 28 pages because the implications of it go way beyond the situation of one husband who is frustrated by his wife's refusal to discuss a particular topic.
What has happened is that a group of haters (haters of males) has used the thread as symbolic of all their grievances, real or imagined, against some male (or perhaps more than one male) in their own lives. The result has been a lot of male bashing and an unstated but glaringly obvious assumption that if there is a conflict between a man and a woman, the man must be in the wrong.
The amount of bias, prejudice, irrational resentment, and downright hatred reflected in this thread is astounding and it is also profoundly depressing when we think about the implications for the human species. In our species, emotion seems to trump rationality and objectivity in a discouragingly large number of people.
It should be clear that not all women posters here belong to the group I have described as "haters". But I need to say that because someone will want to twist my words around. In fact I would say that the haters are in the minority among female posters.
There is more to this than just male bashing or male and female differences. I am a male. The OP is a male and we have heard his side of the story. I don't buy it. Something is not right. In fact I think a lot of things are not right with the OP's posts. The OP seems to be looking for arguments and has made a great many rebuttals to comments that were just designed to help. I could go on, but there is not much point. I am not looking for an argument and don't want to make a big list of the warning signs. Everyone can draw their own conclusions, if anyone is even interested.
This thread got to 28 pages because the implications of it go way beyond the situation of one husband who is frustrated by his wife's refusal to discuss a particular topic.
What has happened is that a group of haters (haters of males) has used the thread as symbolic of all their grievances, real or imagined, against some male (or perhaps more than one male) in their own lives. The result has been a lot of male bashing and an unstated but glaringly obvious assumption that if there is a conflict between a man and a woman, the man must be in the wrong.
The amount of bias, prejudice, irrational resentment, and downright hatred reflected in this thread is astounding and it is also profoundly depressing when we think about the implications for the human species. In our species, emotion seems to trump rationality and objectivity in a discouragingly large number of people.
It should be clear that not all women posters here belong to the group I have described as "haters". But I need to say that because someone will want to twist my words around. In fact I would say that the haters are in the minority among female posters.
What about the woman haters? BTW, that doesn't include all men, at least, not me.
What about the woman haters? BTW, that doesn't include all men, at least, not me.
I had a few of them throwing daggers at me because I was right about him all along and I was only going by human nature I had observed dealing with the public for close to 30 years. His first post alerted me to the fact he was not looking for what she wanted. He wanted to start an argument so he could get his way. I didn't have to go looking at another thread but I am glad the other poster did. Now the ones throwing daggers are even worse than before because they were wrong all along and aren't going to admit they were wrong.
I told him he needed to learn to listen. I have had training in listening. People don't always say what they mean. Some people cannot be taken at face value.
not saying this is your situation but, many women do not want to relocate away from family in retirement, especially if there are grandchildren. Has that discussion been broached? My brother has a fantasy that when he retires in 2 years, he and the wife are moving to the beach in another state. Seems everyone in our family knows his wife is never moving more than 25 miles from her daughters and grandchildren, except him.
not saying this is your situation but, many women do not want to relocate away from family in retirement, especially if there are grandchildren. Has that discussion been broached? My brother has a fantasy that when he retires in 2 years, he and the wife are moving to the beach in another state. Seems everyone in our family knows his wife is never moving more than 25 miles from her daughters and grandchildren, except him.
Then why has the wife continued to let him talk about it?
I wonder why her opinion is supposed to override his.
Because that is how you find a middle ground where both people are happy.
I had planned on moving to San Fran for retirement, I REALLY wanted to, DH was like Montana... That's a huge gap.
Discussion on what it was that we wanted brought us to a middle ground where we both felt content. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter where we live, as long as we are together.
There is a middle ground between Montana and San Francisco. There is no middle ground when one wants to move and the other does not. Unless they can afford 2 homes you either move or you don't, there is no in between.
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