Being engaged in your world (pensions, marriage, retired, separate)

[TheShadow]

Originally Posted by fallstaff

I try to keep up with the times but only to the extent it matters to me. For instance, I do business online and actually LIKE IT! How the heck did I manage all those years waiting for bills, writing checks, licking stamps etc etc? I almost never use cash. I like using the debit card mostly but somethings require use of the "old fashioned" credit card.

I still bristle sometimes about not being able to "just go to the store and buy it" but I think online shopping is another "giant leap for mankind."

But I do not own nor would I know what to do with an I-phone or a smart phone. (Are they the same things?) My current old fashioned candy bar phone can go online but I don't now how to use that function but that's OK 'cause I don't have any reason to use it.

I mow my own lawn with a reel type lawn mower and shovel the driveway with a shovel because I enjoy it (Well, sort of). It's one of those "it keeps you young" things. I am 60 and like to push that button that says "press to test." Just want to see if I can still do it.

I have a Cathode ray tube TV with a digital converter box because, well, the TV still works and I don't want to waste it by throwing it away. It will die some day and I will get a plasma wide-screen TV then. I have nothing against the new stuff. Besides I watch most of my TV on the computer anyway. A big desktop model. I have a laptop but never use it.

I also wear a heart monitor wrist watch and keep a blood pressure monitor nearby. No medical problems. I just like having the technology.

I have no kitchen gadgets because I like cooking simple things and they are best done in a pot, saucepan, frying pan. I do have one of those mini-blenders that one uses for smoothies or protein shakes, but no blender, mixers, microwave ovens, stick blender, slow cooker, fast cooker, pressure cooker.....

I play an acoustic guitar but tune it with an digital tuner.

I'm not too old to change/keep up when needed but old enough to seek out familiar, comfortable things when it matters.

Plasma is old technology and uses a TON of electricity. Get an LED ultra HD TV. Much cheaper, uses little electricity, and BEAUTIFUL picture.

[sombrueil]

Originally Posted by thinkalot

I'm glad you know what will make your husband happy.

I'll be damned if I'm going to text to get a response. That seems almost like begging in that you have to do it their way or they won't respond. 50 years ago we had to do things differently for our grandparents and parents. We certainly did not ignore them if they didn't do it our way, as if we would ever do that.

Technology keeps many people from being engaged in the world. Not being able to text, email, call, or write whoever the audience is being disengaged.

Whatever we add to our lives should be in addition to not in place of.

Why? I sure don't want to be left in a dark corner when the technology I'm comfortable with is so outdated I can't communicate with anyone anymore.

I think you are confusing mega-giant corporations and their ability to dictate what tools we get to use, and our own children who are simply more adaptable to the times than we are.

One of the problems with "addition to" is that right now, people typically can skype, text, email, phone, voice mail, and maybe a couple other things, and most can't keep up with it all so they just do one or two and never look at the others. They never tell you which one or two they aren't ignoring, sadly. It's a real pain.

[ComeCloser]

I have an LED Smart TV, but its not smart at all if my router goes out. I HATE texting, and most forms of social media. I come from a face to face world that talks. I like that world so I haven't been very adaptive in that regard.

I have an iPhone that I call my very expensive radio. It also serves as a watch, and camera from time to time. It cost me $40 a month to listen to Pandora, or I <3 Radio. I use an old flip phone for all my calls. I keep the flip phone because everyone knows its number, and I can call it from the iPhone to hear my late husband say his name. Kinda depressing idea, I guess. But I find it comforting to know I can do that. I don't do it all that often.

I have my favorite foods list as well. I try new foods, but they rarely replace anything on the favorites list completely. Food is emotional in a way. One of our first experiences after birth involves eating. We are comforted by food. We associate food with past experiences sometimes. Its more than just being 'set in my ways'. Everyone can relate a dish to past good times.

I don't think I need to keep up with technology. In fact, I am dreaming about being more independent than most, and possibly retiring off grid. I know it is safer to not be plugged into the matrix. I have lunch out in front of job when the weather is nice, and have watched people who are plugged in walk mindlessly out into six lanes of heavy traffic. My bones are slightly more brittle than they were when I was a child, and I don't bounce like I used to, lol.

OP, is it possible that your criticism of your husband is somehow based in a desire to remain youthful as you age? Let the man be happy how he is. His needs and yours do not need to be the same.

P.S. I LOVE LOVE LOVE online shopping. You can get anything you want delivered to your house, and order it while sitting naked at your PC sipping coffee.

[SunGrins]

Speaking as a "fogey". I have to say that the technology associated with my hearing aids is pretty impressive. They connect to my iPhone via Bluetooth so I can listen to music or audiobooks or take phone calls all hands free. After three years it is pretty much integrated into my daily life.

I've never had the self-discipline to lose weight by counting calories because keeping a food journal was a pain. I found an iPhone app that serves as a journal and even calculates calories and nutrition information by scanning the barcode on the label. It keeps track of my progress and tells me if I'm off track. I'm sure there must be several of these apps. It seems to be working for me better than anything else I tried. So far I'm down significantly from where I started.

[jean_ji]

Originally Posted by cb2008

What does that mean to you?

My spouse and I have discussions about getting things done on the internet. He is a bit afraid of it, mistrusts it a lot, and prefers to do it the old fashioned way - pick up the phone. But it is getting harder and harder to do that and online is so much faster and easier and companies really want you to use their wed site. But he prefers to talk on the phone and it takes an awful long time to do simple things.

He seems to live in a different era, even his shopping is old fashioned - like the kind of products he buy at the grocery story. When I bring home some great crackers and goat cheese he loves it, polishes it off. But he will always come home only with a brick of cheddar and red delicious apples, because that is what he has known. There are so many more delicious varieties. He is smart, intelligent, and on top of current news and reads everything I do. Yet, I feel he just needs to get out there and feel the change and dance with it, you know?

How are YOU doing?

I’m engaged with technology and people, online and in real life, it’s a good mix.

I did notice I was out of the loop the last few years at work during lunch when everyone was discussing the latest reality shows. I had quit watching network TV years before, and had nothing to contribute. I listened to the conversations around me and confirmed I was not missing anything. The latest is not always the greatest. Change just for being different doesn’t always work either.

[Mikala43]

Love new things, especially foods and new ways/types of cooking. My fashion changes, albeit slowly, I learn new technology and stuff.

[cb2008]

Originally Posted by jean_ji

I’m engaged with technology and people, online and in real life, it’s a good mix.

I did notice I was out of the loop the last few years at work during lunch when everyone was discussing the latest reality shows. I had quit watching network TV years before, and had nothing to contribute. I listened to the conversations around me and confirmed I was not missing anything. The latest is not always the greatest. Change just for being different doesn’t always work either.

But some of the shows on Netflix, HBO etc are truly good. My latest discovery - The Crown on Netflix. It is the royal family from the interior, fiction based on facts and interpretation. The acting is so good. I am enthralled. PBS British shows/serials never did much for me but this I liked.

[cb2008]

Originally Posted by jrkliny

This topic seems very confused. Being engaged with life and the world and using the most modern technology are not at all the same. I do both. I know others who are engaged with life, who teach and invent and create. Some of them do not have any interest up to date technology. I know others who are great with technology but otherwise accomplish little and are quite withdrawn.

The topic is confused?

Modern technology has become part of our world, so how can we truly engage with the world if we also not embrace new technology to transform the way we see and do things?
My greatest attraction when PC's came into the market was the word processing. My spelling skills can be better and I am a lousy typist. WORD helped me publish my stories and novel. I still write in journals and notebook, but Word was an important tool, as important as my pen and my thoughts.

[cb2008]

Originally Posted by thinkalot

I'm glad you know what will make your husband happy.

I'll be damned if I'm going to text to get a response. That seems almost like begging in that you have to do it their way or they won't respond. 50 years ago we had to do things differently for our grandparents and parents. We certainly did not ignore them if they didn't do it our way, as if we would ever do that.

Technology keeps many people from being engaged in the world. Not being able to text, email, call, or write whoever the audience is being disengaged.

Whatever we add to our lives should be in addition to not in place of.

Well, than we should still be riding in carts, instead of cars. Do you have a cart in your garage in addition to your car?

Yes, I do know what makes my husband happy.

Our children's' lives are different from the way we were at that age. I never said our children ignore us, just that his emails and phone messages do not get the response HE wants to see and when. He may get a phone call after several days instead. They love us but their mode of communication is just different.

Texting is more immediate, it feels as if I spoke to the person. Phone calls are intrusive, like if you are in the train or driving. I can Facetime my relatives and friends here and abroad for free through the internet and it is lovely to chat with my sister or my granddaughter that way(which is going to change now with the repeal of Net Neutrality.) Technology brings the world to us. But we need to learn and use the tools.

[cb2008]

Originally Posted by jazzcat22

But it sounds like your husband has some interests and isn't disengaged from the world. He does some things the old-school way and may favor some traditional things, like in food, but as long as he is open to new things (or even if he wasn't), doesn't seem like a problem.

Oh he definitely is not disengaged from the world. But I wish he would just get on the kinds of things that we have now that makes life's tasks easy and quick so we can get on to other things. Like his fondness for Fax. You can snap a picture of the document on his camera and email it as an attachment or upload it directly on the website. He resisted that for a long time until he was so totally frustrated that his faxes never got addressed. I took and uploaded it and we got a response right away. The world is changing and it is a lot more fun and EASY to adapt and change. It seems hard for him because he fears the internet.