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Old 12-30-2017, 09:53 AM
 
5,426 posts, read 2,825,425 times
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Yes. I thought my final, “dream” home would be in a seaside small town in which we could walk to everything. Thought it would be nice to not depend on driving in our later years. And I do like things maritime.

Turned out I hated being so close to so many people. I’m not talking about neighbor proximity, though that is a little part of it. Mostly what I found intolerable was the constant close passing by of so many people and badly-behaved dogs and owners, in addition to the never-dark skies (overuse of lights), the massive seasonal tourist influx right around our neighborhood (actively being expanded by the powers-that-be), and the overall sense that our home could not be our sanctuary in such a culture. Especially the town and county and state politics, UGH. And it just felt like not enough “wildness” all around.

But what we chose next is definitely not “settling for.” It actually is going back to a much, much earlier and long-lasting dream. The one we ditched was like a strange sidepath. Learned some useful things and loved some aspects of being there, but it was not really home.
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Old 12-30-2017, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,666 posts, read 3,243,341 times
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^^^ Thank you pikabike. That was so helpful to me. That was a good dose of reality that I had not considered before.
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Old 12-30-2017, 01:41 PM
 
6,309 posts, read 3,574,248 times
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I stopped making dreams for myself a long time ago. I didn't learn any way to do it without expectation of outcome and found myself too frequently discouraged.


But that doesn't mean I gave up on having new experiences or being open to a new life. Now I just take calculated risks now and then and look forward to the outcome. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't but I never fail to learn something about myself and the world when I do.


That works a lot better for me.
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Old 12-30-2017, 01:58 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,448,244 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post

Honestly speaking, I think I could live in a very small apartment as long as it had a patio or porch area that was sort of private, where I could sit outside with a cup of coffee or tea and smell the fresh air and watch birds or dogs (or both) in the mornings.
I'm living your dream above! hahaha just kidding. I know it's not your dream - but a comment on how you could be living and be happy.

Anyway, I am living exactly the above (very small apartment), and I really enjoy life, and LOVE sitting outside on my 2nd floor balcony, which has both wonderful sun and shade, having fresh air, birds, morning glory vines all over the railings in season, & drinking tea/coffee.

Last edited by matisse12; 12-30-2017 at 02:09 PM..
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Old 12-30-2017, 02:43 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,431 posts, read 1,667,352 times
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When I was six, I had an extremely vivid dream that I thought was real. In the dream I had a golden apple, it glowed and was so incredibly beautiful and it was mine. I still remember waking up and realizing i did not have that apple, it was only a dream and feeling so inconsolable. What a letdown! I learned early that dreams, while pleasant, weren’t real.

I have goals and wants, but they are reasonable and attainable. I would love to have a house right on the beach, one overlooking the Hudson River, or to live on Block Island etc., but that isn’t happening in this lifetime. I don’t play the lottery, there is no inheritance on the horizon and I live within my means.

Instead, I walked around the block for views of the Hudson, ride my bike to the beach, and Block Island will remain a vacation destination only. Close not only counts when playing horseshoes, but in my life too. I’m satisfied and feel fortunate.

It’s not a matter of settling, but being a realist.

Last edited by jean_ji; 12-30-2017 at 03:06 PM..
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Old 12-30-2017, 02:53 PM
 
6,310 posts, read 5,053,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I'm living your dream above! hahaha just kidding. I know it's not your dream - but a comment on how you could be living and be happy.

Anyway, I am living exactly the above (very small apartment), and I really enjoy life, and LOVE sitting outside on my 2nd floor balcony, which has both wonderful sun and shade, having fresh air, birds, morning glory vines all over the railings in season, & drinking tea/coffee.
It is strange how I am realizing now that apartment type living is what I enjoyed the most. Maybe a very tiny yard.

My favorite so far was my 2-2 unit on a military base. Not a care in the world, except making sure the grass was cut and I usually had someone do that.

Nice cozy back patio where I could relax.

Oh well....
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Old 12-30-2017, 02:54 PM
 
6,310 posts, read 5,053,602 times
Reputation: 12815
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
^^^ Thank you pikabike. That was so helpful to me. That was a good dose of reality that I had not considered before.
She made some good points. I also want to live at the beach but maybe only during winter.

Here in south texas they get flooded with people during the summer. Spring break forget it.

They say in January they sort of get crowded with seniors, but I would prefer that to college kids.
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Old 12-30-2017, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,972 posts, read 3,457,347 times
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I had to totally revise my life after a car accident (other driver's fault) & was very bitter for quite awhile until I realized, the reality is I shouldn't even be here.

I had to totally revise & rethink my life. I'd always dreamed of retiring to Florida to live by the beach. It was through CD that I changed my views & realized I didn't want the humidity or the bugs.

I chanced upon Arizona through CD & am content. I'd forgotten my dream of just being able to read whenever I want & now I do. I can't tell you how many times I went to work groggy because I 'had' to finish that book!

I chose a warm climate because of two precarious falls last winter. They were scary.

I'm content although I miss walking, which I used to do constantly. It's hard to walk now, even after a back operation, after the accident. Still & all, I have my Kindle & read about a book a day.

Now, that I call living!
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Old 12-30-2017, 04:56 PM
 
Location: R.I.
977 posts, read 605,084 times
Reputation: 4232
Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
When I was six, I had an extremely vivid dream that I thought was real. In the dream I had a golden apple, it glowed and was so incredibly beautiful and it was mine. I still remember waking up and realizing i did not have that apple, it was only a dream and feeling so inconsolable. What a letdown! I learned early that dreams, while pleasant, weren’t real.

I have goals and wants, but they are reasonable and attainable. I would love to have a house right on the beach, one overlooking the Hudson River, or to live on Block Island etc., but that isn’t happening in this lifetime. I don’t play the lottery, there is no inheritance on the horizon and I live within my means.

Instead, I walked around the block for views of the Hudson, ride my bike to the beach, and Block Island will remain a vacation destination only. Close not only counts when playing horseshoes, but in my life too. I’m satisfied and feel fortunate.

It’s not a matter of settling, but being a realist.
I can understand your desire to have wanted to live on Block Island as I have been to that lovely island many times since living in R.I. it is a very easy day trip for us with less than an hour ride to get to the ferry that departs from Pt. Judith.

I myself had a dream of one day living on Martha's Vineyard after being taken there several times by an orthopedic surgeon friend of mine that I dated before marrying my late husband who also had the same dream as I. We have remained casual friends for over 30 years and last year after sadly splitting with his wife of many years he relocated himself and his practice to Martha' Vineyard to live out his dream. After a year of living there the island charm has worn off, he now feels very isolated, and with him turning 66 next year will be closing his practice soon after his birthday and be relocating back to the mainland for retirement to be closer to his two adult children that both live in Boston.

Even though I had a dream to live on the Vineyard I knew I could never afford to because my wallet is nowhere near that of my orthopedic surgeon friend's. Had I married him instead of my late husband I may have been able to live out my dream, but since my friend leans very melancholic it would have turned out to be more of living out a nightmare instead of a dream. No regrets marrying the happy poor guy instead. So like you I get my Vineyard fix with day trips and an extended vacation there from time to time.

Last edited by Nightengale212; 12-30-2017 at 05:06 PM..
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Old 12-30-2017, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,747 posts, read 36,160,327 times
Reputation: 63385
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I'm living your dream above! hahaha just kidding. I know it's not your dream - but a comment on how you could be living and be happy.

Anyway, I am living exactly the above (very small apartment), and I really enjoy life, and LOVE sitting outside on my 2nd floor balcony, which has both wonderful sun and shade, having fresh air, birds, morning glory vines all over the railings in season, & drinking tea/coffee.
See, that sounds great to me! I have that now with my patio and my private back yard and I just love it. One day I won't need a house this big and smaller will be just fine!
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