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Old 12-28-2017, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,653 posts, read 3,235,973 times
Reputation: 11907

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For a long time I dreamed of moving to an area by the ocean, or at least near a very large lake. I also dreamed of meeting a nice man to have a relationship with, not necessarily marriage. I've dreamed of having both of my kids in my life with love and caring between all of us. I dreamed of travel within the U.S.

As time has gone by and I've gotten older, the reality of my dreams seems to have disappeared and I have more or less settled into a quiet serene life with no struggle for anything more. I guess a good word would be resigned into it.

I've listened to a spiritual person on TV for years and she often talks about not giving up on dreams, to keep dreaming them, praying to God for them and if they didn't materialize, to realize that God has sent what is best for you.

I do find myself content, something that took a long time coming. I'm accepting myself, my lifestyle, and beginning to enjoy things as they are.

Does this mean I have given up? Or that I've finally accepted my life as it is.

I'm not necessarily looking to anyone here to give me "the answer." I just want to hear what you all have to say and maybe learn from you.
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Old 12-28-2017, 03:56 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,042,575 times
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My one dream didn't turn out as expected. I probably didn't think it through. But I hope to change that in a few years.
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Old 12-28-2017, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,291 posts, read 4,145,583 times
Reputation: 18259
I think it's only common sense to recognize that there's a time to give up some dreams. (When I was 5 I used to dream of becoming an astronaut; at age 55, I think that's one dream that's way past its sell-by date!)

I think giving up on (some) dreams is fine; what's not fine is giving up on the whole idea of dreaming. Trading out old dreams that no longer fit for new ones which do is the mental equivalent of cleaning out your closet and taking those old clothes you've been holding onto for years because you knew you'd wear them "someday when I lose weight" off to Goodwill.
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Old 12-28-2017, 04:09 PM
 
381 posts, read 352,121 times
Reputation: 1984
I always had the dream of living and working in a national park. My DH developed dementia and I took care of him for 13 years. Now I am too old to even volunteer for most wilderness experiences. Bitter? Not now. I was so disappointed when I first realized this but not any longer. I could have been the one with the health issue and the dream still would not have happened. I believe you have to continue to adjust "dreams". Now I go birding and do nature walks with seniors. Instead of giving cocktail parties, I invite a group to go for a walk (slow) in the woods with sliced oranges as the refreshments. Adjust the dreams.
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Old 12-28-2017, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,599 posts, read 19,931,965 times
Reputation: 45669
I think the important thing is to find happiness with what you have. Dreams come and go, the here and now doesn't.
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Old 12-28-2017, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,431 posts, read 3,657,283 times
Reputation: 4758
We always expected we would have grandchildren, and retained toys and other items in accordance with that expectation. We now realize it will likely never happen as both of our sons and their wives are aging out of the maternity years.


So now we are making plans to stay active in our upcoming retirement in other ways. And will likely start, in a couple more years, to donate, sell, or otherwise dispose of the items we saved for grandchildren that we will never need.

Last edited by MI-Roger; 12-28-2017 at 05:55 PM..
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Old 12-28-2017, 06:13 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
31,971 posts, read 36,594,800 times
Reputation: 38549
I had dreams of being married 60+ years and growing old with family as a group. We divorced after 35 years so gonna miss the getting old together part.

But I still have the grandkids and a new sweetie so maybe I now have a new dream.
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Old 12-28-2017, 06:16 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,042,575 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
I had dreams of being married 60+ years and growing old with family as a group. We divorced after 35 years so gonna miss the getting old together part.

But I still have the grandkids and a new sweetie so maybe I now have a new dream.
Good luck to you!
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Old 12-28-2017, 06:17 PM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,042,575 times
Reputation: 12805
My dream was to live in the house that I live in. But its not that great. My days of nostalgia are over and now I want a more modern abode.

Is it weird that I never had the dream of being married forever or having kids?
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Old 12-28-2017, 06:20 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,896 posts, read 1,580,961 times
Reputation: 7908
There's an old saying: "Make your dreams come true - Wake Up!"
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