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Old 01-01-2018, 08:06 AM
 
Location: equator
3,522 posts, read 1,559,553 times
Reputation: 8736

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This is a fun discussion. Especially what offends people! I guess I don't give this any thought at all.
I surely don't get offended at Miss---or Ma'am, or hon or sweetie. Those of you who do, don't watch the hilarious series "Fargo", LOL.


I used to get a mild shock at being called "Aunt---" since I had no kids, it just seemed I could not already be an Aunt.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:08 AM
 
487 posts, read 492,826 times
Reputation: 841
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I'm "vintage."

I'm also not easily offended. But I'll tell you something that I DON'T like and that's when other adults (say past about college age, and even that's pushing it) call me "Miss Kathryn." Why are you calling me that? Our next door neighbor, who is about 10 years younger than me, calls me that all the time. I think I'm going to have to say something to him about it. THAT makes me feel older than necessary.
Mom was raised in the south. She taught us to never call anyone older that us by their first name. It is a sign of respect. It is a very hard habit to break.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,650 posts, read 979,561 times
Reputation: 4346
I prefer the Elders, as it has an overtone of respect to it. There is far too little of that in the world today.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,164 posts, read 36,370,190 times
Reputation: 63962
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
You're in the South, well Texas (right?), so using the honorific Miss is kind of culturally ingrained. That's what Miss Kay, wife of Phil Robertson, said.
Yeah, well, I grew up in the South and have lived here most of my life but I still don't like people who are adults calling me "Miss Kathryn." Kids, yes. Even college age. But NOT my peers - and I consider people who are full fledged adults my peers.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,164 posts, read 36,370,190 times
Reputation: 63962
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7gkids View Post
Mom was raised in the south. She taught us to never call anyone older that us by their first name. It is a sign of respect. It is a very hard habit to break.
I was raised in the South too. I was taught as a kid to call adults "Miss So and So" but I was never taught to call anyone that as an adult unless they specifically requested it or introduced themselves in that manner. That's really only happened to me with a handful of elderly (and I do mean elderly - as in over 80) over the years.

I don't like the subservient tone of it. When I had ankle surgery, I hired a woman to come in and clean my house a couple of days a week. She was my age. She called me "Miss Kathryn." I didn't like it. I said, "Please just call me Kathryn," but I swear it was like she simply couldn't do it. I had the utmost respect for her - she was excellent at her work and always punctual and always pleasant and professional. I considered her my peer pretty much across the board, and I didn't like that Miss Kathryn stuff at ALL.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,650 posts, read 979,561 times
Reputation: 4346
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I'm "vintage."

I'm also not easily offended. But I'll tell you something that I DON'T like and that's when other adults (say past about college age, and even that's pushing it) call me "Miss Kathryn." Why are you calling me that? Our next door neighbor, who is about 10 years younger than me, calls me that all the time. I think I'm going to have to say something to him about it. THAT makes me feel older than necessary.
Calling someone "Miss so, and so" is a sign of respect in some parts of the country. It's a good thing, not an insult.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,826 posts, read 4,868,767 times
Reputation: 19600
They don't feel they are your peers, Kathryn. They see you as someone they respect and should treat with deference. Your cleaning lady wasn't your peer, you were her BOSS, she was your employee. It's like the nurses in my doctor's office, they don't call the doctor Bill, they call him Dr. Jackson.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:17 AM
 
653 posts, read 340,322 times
Reputation: 895
Nothing Offends me, "Sticks & Stones"..... Oh one thing does, having to be conscious of what I say in case it offends someone. No such problem in Australia and England. (I am English) Most people who live in America have VERY thin skins.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,164 posts, read 36,370,190 times
Reputation: 63962
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
Agreed. School kids call their teachers Miss XXX. So when people want to address someone who they feel can teach them something they often use Miss. Think of it that way. You ARE being honored.

We even use Miss/Mister before the names of kids sometimes, to emphasize to them that they are capable of being smart or smarter. Such as, "Miss Kathryn, you do know that the salad fork goes on the far left, correct?"
Sorry, don't see it that way at all. Why should another adult - my peer - call me "Miss Kathryn?" I don't need or want any specialized honoring by another adult. It smacks of kowtowing to me.

To clarify - I don't have a problem with KIDS calling me "Miss Kathryn." In fact, I like it. Just not adults.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,164 posts, read 36,370,190 times
Reputation: 63962
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
They don't feel they are your peers, Kathryn. They see you as someone they respect and should treat with deference. Your cleaning lady wasn't your peer, you were her BOSS.
I don't see why another adult would treat me with deference. That is not MUTUAL respect.

Hey, you've given me an idea though - next time someone calls me that, I think I will turn around and call THEM that. That should give them pause for thought, right? I mean, that's mutual respect, right? That's what I like. That's what I'm comfortable with.
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