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Old 01-01-2018, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,884 posts, read 36,203,761 times
Reputation: 63544

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23 View Post
Calling someone "Miss so, and so" is a sign of respect in some parts of the country. It's a good thing, not an insult.
I know they are not intending to insult me. I just said I don't like it. I'm not offended - I just don't care for it. I prefer adult to adult - equals - in conversation. Mutual respect. But like I said, I think the next time an adult calls me Miss Kathryn, I'll turn around and address them as Miss or Mister So and So.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,884 posts, read 36,203,761 times
Reputation: 63544
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
In the south, children are taught to refer to all adults as either Mr. or Miss _____________. Last name for people they've just met, or first name for someone they know more closely. It's considered improper (rude, extremely out of line, disrespectful, might get your ears slapped back type of improper) for a younger person to refer to call an adult older than them (especially anyone about 20+ years older) by their first name alone. It's drummed into their heads since they first learn to speak, so it's a hard habit to break. I find it a quaint holdover from a more genteel time. I have an aunt who will actually correct any of us "kids" (kids ranging in age from 45 to 69) if we dare to call her Diane, instead of Aunt Diane.
I was born and raised in the South so I do know how it goes. I'm just saying that I don't LIKE when my adult peers call me "Miss." I don't mind when kids call me that - in fact, I prefer it. But not my peers.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,573 posts, read 962,288 times
Reputation: 4194
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I laugh every time I read in the news about an "elderly man" who was rescued (or whatever) and the guys only in his early to mid 60's. To me elderly is past mid-70's.

To me, frail, and elderly always went together. But 62, and older is what the government goes by as far as setting apart the "elderly", and "near elderly" for their benefits categories. For instance the low income housing for seniors/elderly is usually 62, and older. I guess when we turn 62 a switch is automatically flipped, and we become elderly immediately upon that birthday. "But I'm not THAT OLD" I thought, lol.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19479
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I don't see why another adult would treat me with deference. That is not MUTUAL respect.

Hey, you've given me an idea though - next time someone calls me that, I think I will turn around and call THEM that. That should give them pause for thought, right? I mean, that's mutual respect, right? That's what I like. That's what I'm comfortable with.
Sounds good to me. Who doesn't like a bit of respect. My favorite server, Belinda, at the local restaurant calls me Hon, and I call her Sweetie.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,884 posts, read 36,203,761 times
Reputation: 63544
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
They don't feel they are your peers, Kathryn. They see you as someone they respect and should treat with deference. Your cleaning lady wasn't your peer, you were her BOSS, she was your employee. It's like the nurses in my doctor's office, they don't call the doctor Bill, they call him Dr. Jackson.

I would have preferred that she call me either by my first name or by Ms (Last Name). It's the Miss Kathryn thing that I don't like from fellow adults.

I'm not offended by it - I just don't like it. I don't need deference from other adults. I for SURE don't need it from my next door neighbor who is in his forties! Sheeze! Yep, I'm going to start calling him Mister So and So. I bet he will be surprised by that.
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19479
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23 View Post
To me, frail, and elderly always went together. But 62, and older is what the government goes by as far as setting apart the "elderly", and "near elderly" for their benefits categories. For instance the low income housing for seniors/elderly is usually 62, and older. I guess when we turn 62 a switch is automatically flipped, and we become elderly immediately upon that birthday. "But I'm not THAT OLD" I thought, lol.
I was relating a story about a man trapped in the woods to my DH. He said "was this a guy in his 30's?", because he'd read a story about a 30-something lost a few weeks earlier. I said "No, it was an old guy, like 65" then I remembered my DH is 63. LOL...I had to fumble around for something to paper over that one real quick!

Last edited by TheShadow; 01-01-2018 at 08:39 AM..
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Old 01-01-2018, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,788 posts, read 4,843,885 times
Reputation: 19479
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I would have preferred that she call me either by my first name or by Ms (Last Name). It's the Miss Kathryn thing that I don't like from fellow adults.

I'm not offended by it - I just don't like it. I don't need deference from other adults. I for SURE don't need it from my next door neighbor who is in his forties! Sheeze! Yep, I'm going to start calling him Mister So and So. I bet he will be surprised by that.
I bet he won't mind. It's just something their parents put into them, like saying please and thank you, or bless you when someone sneezes. It's an automatic thing. They probably don't even realize that they're saying it.

I had a co-worker who blessed me EVERY time I sneezed. I have a minor allergy to paper dust and worked in an office, so I sneezed about 10 times a day at least. Every time I'd sneeze she would bless me aloud from her cubicle. Then I would have to say thank you, and she would say you're welcome. Over and over again. My cubicle was about 4 cubes away, so the whole exchange was being overheard by about 10 people every time it happened. I was annoyed, so I'm sure my other co-workers were being annoyed, by all this unnecessary blessing, thanking, and your welcoming. I finally took her aside and asked her to stop blessing me for my allergic sneezes. She honestly said she didn't even realize that she was doing it. It was like a reflex. It took her forever to get a handle on it.
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Old 01-01-2018, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,573 posts, read 962,288 times
Reputation: 4194
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
In the south, children are taught to refer to all adults as either Mr. or Miss _____________. Last name for people they've just met, or first name for someone they know more closely. It's considered improper (rude, extremely out of line, disrespectful, might get your ears slapped back type of improper) for a younger person to refer to call an adult older than them (especially anyone about 20+ years older) by their first name alone. It's drummed into their heads since they first learn to speak, so it's a hard habit to break. I find it a quaint holdover from a more genteel time. I have an aunt who will actually correct any of us "kids" (kids ranging in age from 45 to 69) if we dare to call her Diane, instead of Aunt Diane.
^^^^^ I do so agree, can't rep you again so soon. I find it welcoming, and warm like family. Being new to the south I'm learning to use it in return if I know their names, or there is a name tag. Please don't break that habit. We need more of it, not less.
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Old 01-01-2018, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,884 posts, read 36,203,761 times
Reputation: 63544
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I bet he won't mind. It's just something their parents put into them, like saying please and thank you, or bless you when someone sneezes. It's an automatic thing. They probably don't even realize that they're saying it.

I had a co-worker who blessed me EVERY time I sneezed. I have a minor allergy to paper dust and worked in an office, so I sneezed about 10 times a day at least. Every time I'd sneeze she would bless me aloud from her cubicle. Then I would have to say thank you, and she would say you're welcome. Over and over again. My cubicle was about 4 cubes away, so the whole exchange was being overheard by about 10 people every time it happened. I was annoyed, so I'm sure my other co-workers were being annoyed, by all this unnecessary blessing, thanking, and your welcoming. I finally took her aside and asked her to stop blessing me for my allergic sneezes. She honestly said she didn't even realize that she was doing it. It was like a reflex. It took her forever to get a handle on it.
Ha! That would drive me crazy too! IN fact, it DOES drive me a little crazy. I am one of those people who has a conniption fit when they're sneezing - I mean I don't sneeze LOUD (in fact, they are little bitty sneezes) but I usually sneeze between 8 and 13 times in a row. It's sort of spectacular. What I get sick of is when I sneeze the first time and people say "Oh - God bless you!" but I know a whole barrage is coming and I'm incapacitated and they keep standing there staring at me saying, "Oh - GOD BLESS YOU - OH GOD BLESS YOU OH GOD BLESS YOU GOD BLESS YOU GOD BLESS YOU BLESS YOU BLESS YOU" and the whole time I'm waving my hand at them trying to get them to just STOP saying that - you know, save it till I'm done if you must say it!

My close friends and family know they may as well just wait till I'm finished. In fact, if I sneeze three or four times and someone starts to say it, my husband or daughter will interject for me with "Oh hold up - she's not finished yet!"
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Old 01-01-2018, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,884 posts, read 36,203,761 times
Reputation: 63544
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23 View Post
^^^^^ I do so agree, can't rep you again so soon. I find it welcoming, and warm like family. Being new to the south I'm learning to use it in return if I know their names, or there is a name tag. Please don't break that habit. We need more of it, not less.
Break it with me.

I like it when kids use it - adults, no thanks.
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