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It recently came up in conversations with a couple of people I know (I know them separately, I don't mean they are a couple) that neither of them is saving anything at all for retirement. Nada, zilch, zero. They are both around 50, working full time, career type jobs but for different reasons, neither is saving anything at all. They both rent, so they won't have the fall back of a paid off home to live in. One of them seems to have a small employer funded 401k, so that's at best a few percent of salary, the other one I know for sure doesn't contribute at all and there is no employer contribution, so they truly have absolutely nothing saved for retirement.
I know the best answer is to keep my mouth shut, but would you say anything at all, maybe point them to some really, really basic budgeting and saving information? If you would say anything, do you have an specific websites or books you'd suggest?
At this point, I'm thinking I wouldn't initiate a conversation but if the subject came up again, I might say something like "I have some resources I could suggest if you wanted to take a look". But then again, it might fall on deaf ears given that the answer to "what do you plan to live on in retirement" was basically a shrug.
It recently came up in conversations with a couple of people I know (I know them separately, I don't mean they are a couple) that neither of them is saving anything at all for retirement. Nada, zilch, zero. They are both around 50, working full time, career type jobs but for different reasons, neither is saving anything at all. They both rent, so they won't have the fall back of a paid off home to live in. One of them seems to have a small employer funded 401k, so that's at best a few percent of salary, the other one I know for sure doesn't contribute at all and there is no employer contribution, so they truly have absolutely nothing saved for retirement.
I know the best answer is to keep my mouth shut, but would you say anything at all, maybe point them to some really, really basic budgeting and saving information? If you would say anything, do you have an specific websites or books you'd suggest?
At this point, I'm thinking I wouldn't initiate a conversation but if the subject came up again, I might say something like "I have some resources I could suggest if you wanted to take a look". But then again, it might fall on deaf ears given that the answer to "what do you plan to live on in retirement" was basically a shrug.
Say the bolded one time, then drop it.
Not your circus, not your monkeys. It's like people who point out to other people all the time "You've gained weight/you should eat more healthily/get more exercise/quit smoking/fill in the blank." They know what they should be doing but they're not doing it - and they're not even related to you and you won't be responsible for their care when they're older, so you really have no dog in this hunt and your comments are not likely to be constructive at all.
Unfortunately does this mean you will have to help out your friends who neglected to save from time to time?
IRL, do you posters who have done well or sacrificed just keep on helping close family and friends who never thought about the future? Or do you just cut ties with those asking for handouts?
Give them a mental shake and scream "Are you crazy? Do you want to end up living in your car on the street eating cat food??"
No, I know you are right. They aren't stupid, they know the consequences and nothing I say is going to make them see the light and change their ways because before me, they never even knew that they could think about budgeting and saving.
Luckily I'm not quite that delusional! But I'm still scared for them and don't understand how two intelligent women can have their heads this deeply in the ground to ignore reality.
Unfortunately does this mean you will have to help out your friends who neglected to save from time to time?
IRL, do you posters who have done well or sacrificed just keep on helping close family and friends who never thought about the future? Or do you just cut ties with those asking for handouts?
So I will probably always help my family because I've been in financial and emotional difficulties a time or two.
My first house caught on fire when I was out of work. my brother GAVE ME 25K without me asking and never once asked me to pay him back. When my husband died, I had a really hard time moving forward, he was the love of my life and his death rocked my world. Even though I actually had the resources I simply could not get out of bed. thank god for my best friend, she paid my sons college tuition (he was a freshman at the University of Cincinnati) and covered my mortgage. once again never mentioned it to me, I found out when I finally called PNC to find out what type of hole I had dug.
So yes, I do not considering my family as asking for "handouts".
Now op, I am going to assume these are close friends since you know their financial situation. So I would first really do some self evaluation. what is your purpose of even bringing this conversation up?
Are they asking your opinion?
At most I would keep it really simple, my close buddies and I talk about retirement all the time and they know I'm planning on retiring soon (yeah 18 month countdown clock has begun. lol) so I would probably just say "what's your plans for retiring"?
Unless they are asking for advice or help it's really not your place to offer an opinion or advice which is not to say if it came up in conversation and they asked what you are doing you couldn't share what you've been doing.
Sounds like one of those doctor visits when you ask about some strange condition that a friend suffers from then ask, "What can I do for them, Doc?"
If you are in fact, the one with the problem, then you need to sit down with a professional, map out your resources, and make a plan. If you can't afford to hire someone who is not selling financial products, be aware there is plenty of advice available online.
I tell people to start with Dave Ramsey or someone like that. Lots of churches do his series of videos and training on how to handle the issues. It's a damned shame that high schools teach sex education instead of financial education. Plenty of people have sex with no education, but without financial training people will drift along and find themselves in trouble when they have a disaster.
My simplest advice for retirement issues is put as much as possible into an IRA or 401 if available. You can always borrow that money from yourself in an emergency. There is plenty of advice here on C-D
Otherwise, if it is not really about you, as has been pointed out so eloquently in this thread, "Not your circus, not your monkeys"
Sounds like one of those doctor visits when you ask about some strange condition that a friend suffers from then ask, "What can I do for them, Doc?"
If you are in fact, the one with the problem, then you need to sit down with a professional, map out your resources, and make a plan. If you can't afford to hire someone who is not selling financial products, be aware there is plenty of advice available online.
I tell people to start with Dave Ramsey or someone like that. Lots of churches do his series of videos and training on how to handle the issues. It's a damned shame that high schools teach sex education instead of financial education. Plenty of people have sex with no education, but without financial training people will drift along and find themselves in trouble when they have a disaster.
My simplest advice for retirement issues is put as much as possible into an IRA or 401 if available. You can always borrow that money from yourself in an emergency. There is plenty of advice here on C-D
Otherwise, if it is not really about you, as has been pointed out so eloquently in this thread, "Not your circus, not your monkeys"
Nope, it's not me. I don't have as much saved as some here seem to have, but from every calculator I've looked at (and I look at them all the time), I'm on track to have a comfortable retirement. Not extravagant but I don't lead an extravagant lifestyle now.
And I think Dave Ramsey is a jerk who gives a lot of bad advice.
But while I do accept I can't change them or their lives, I do worry about my friends and what their futures will hold if they don't make any changes.
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