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Old 01-12-2018, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,371 posts, read 461,700 times
Reputation: 2022

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
There used to be a time in my life when I didn't know what a rut was . But I sure know what one is now and not making much headway getting out of it.

I've been medically retired since late 2010. Bilateral glaucoma surgeries. Long recovery. One eye still not "working" the way I'd like it to and it looks like it's a permanent thing.

Up until then I had a pretty bumpy road to ride on with various personal, employment, financial, family obstacles to overcome. I think once I had to go in for the eye surgeries and the very inactive recovery I had to adhere to, I more or less "deflated." In 2012 I had a knee surgery to clean out all the junk that was in there, then in 2014 I had a total knee replacement. So more time in recovery. I had already gotten used to the lack of activity due to eye surgeries, so it was "easy" to slip back into being a couch potato, TV watcher.

My oldest sister died two years ago after having spent 10 years in nursing home (long story, she was not well mentally or physically). Her adult daughter and I were the only relatives who could visit, advocate for her, etc., and I ended up doing most of it.

There were some other things that happened but already talked about too much.

So here I sit, Friday afternoon, brief nice weather interlude yesterday and today, heavy snow and cold winds forecasted for tomorrow. And I'm playing with computer and not dressed.

I've been telling myself I was due for this "rest". Worn out from all the above plus a few more.

But I'm 75 and putting on weight (not a good thing).

Before anyone here mentions it, yes I know I'm sitting on the pity pot. I'm the only one who can get myself off it.

That first step to get off it seems monumental to me. I find time flies by and before I know it, it's dark out and I don't go anywhere after dark (kind of a new thing for me).

Has anyone else "been there, done that?" How did you overcome it?

Please take my suggestions in the spirit they are intended - to be helpful.


How about volunteering somewhere? reading to kids at the library or to older folks in nursing home type situations?


Join a walking club. I've seen some seasoned citizens as a group walking in the mall and then they stop for coffee


Join a book club


Take up fishing, painting, something!


Start dating again
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,613 posts, read 19,939,787 times
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I think you have to ask yourself two questions: 1) Am I happy?; and, 2) Am I doing what I can to maximize my health (mental / physical /emotional)?

If no, take baby steps to change that. There are probably 100s of 1000s of exercise videos on youtube you can from home.

You just have to figure which areas you want to see some change.
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Orlando
1,983 posts, read 2,633,656 times
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In order to avoid becoming a complete slug, I have set up a schedule where three days a week I have someplace I have to go -- someone is depending on me to be there -- so I have to get out of the house on those three days.

Two days a week I babysit my three-year-old granddaughter. I adore this child, but two days a week is plenty! I have huge respect and admiration for grandparents who have taken on full-time caregiving for their grandchildren.

One morning a week I volunteer for a legal aid organization, interviewing prospective clients to make sure they meet the financial and other requirements to be represented by one of the legal aid attorneys (of whom I am not one).

The other days of the week, if I don't need to go to an appointment, or I don't need to pick up something at the grocery store, I'm happy to stay in my house and read, surf the internet, whatever. I do make my bed and take a shower on those stay at home days.

Oh, one other thing I've committed to: my New Year's resolution is to "clean something every day." Vacuum the bedroom carpet, or dust the living room furniture, or clean the bathroom, or whatever. Something every day. It might take me only 15 minutes, that's fine. After that, I get out my current library book and sit on the couch reading.

My point is: set up something you're committed to doing a couple of days a week, and maybe you won't feel so guilty about not being so active on the other days.
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,613 posts, read 19,939,787 times
Reputation: 45679
And really try not to do "if only if....".

You mentioned twice you wish you had a dog instead of a cat, because that would "make" you exercise. Probably it would "make" you a little resentful and wish you had cats.

Cats fit your lifestyle, your lifestyle doesn't fit a dog. If YOU develop a lifestyle, then you can get a dog that matches it.
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11912
^^^^^ Mikala43: Excellent point, thank you!
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,655 posts, read 3,237,575 times
Reputation: 11912
Thanks to all for the great suggestions.

I liked the question...."Am I happy?" I have to answer YES.

I am a healthy person despite the problems I have had and my doctors are excellent. I see them on a regular basis. I know what to do if things start to change.... I call the doctor! My ophthalmologist tells me every time I see him....... call me if you have a problem. That is my only area of greatest concern.

The suggestion..... "date again"...... surely you jest. I would if I could find someone to date. At 75+, pickings get slim and I'm picky.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
6,119 posts, read 9,073,863 times
Reputation: 11540
I think WellShoneMoon has the answer, at least for me. I NEED to be EXPECTED to be somewhere on certain days. Otherwise, I, too am prone to lounging around in my jammies. (I am still in them right now). The computer is my downfall. I can spend hours on it, especially doing genealogy. I do it until my eyes are blurry and unable to continue. In summer, this won't happen. I will be outside in my garden, but for now, I need to get out of the house to feel better.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:40 AM
 
Location: USA
1,815 posts, read 2,241,974 times
Reputation: 4139
Personally, I think dogs are more work than cats -- especially in the winter when they have to go outdoors all the time.


But just because you don't have a dog, that doesn't mean you can't take a stroll around the block when the weather is nice. Maybe once or twice a week to start?


I have an elderly friend who is in New Jersey and she is always talking about the great groups she attends at the library (all free). Maybe one of your strolls might to your local library to see what's offered? Or if it's too bad to stroll and you're on the computer anyway (LOL), check out their webpage
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,884 posts, read 25,311,688 times
Reputation: 26351
I am totally capable of wasting a day sitting at the computer. It's fun, it's free(relatively), and I don't have to go anywhere to get there. It's just too easy. And yes, I have lots of other things I SHOULD be doing. I do have a degree of guilt but hey, I spent the first 5 decades of my life doing what I had to do and I deserve some time to do what I want to do. I just need to work more to find balance.

Shoot, I could sit at the computer all day just reading library books.
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Old 01-12-2018, 10:58 AM
 
86 posts, read 56,725 times
Reputation: 408
NYCgal1542, as some have suggested, there could be some depression going on with you, however, after over 40 years of full time work and recent retirement, there are times that I also don't feel like getting out of my pj's and just vegging out. I don't see anything wrong with it, specially as NYC winters tend to be rather bleak. I also wouldn't want to be going out too much after dark, and I'm several years younger than you so I get it.

I do get your point about isolation and it is something that I am also aware could be in the offing for me if I don't address it. I do have DH living with me and family nearby, but I have no really close friends to speak of and that is a concern to me as I look to the future. Again, it's not something that I am doing much about now as my husband and family take up a lot of my time but I can see it being an issue if I were widowed and family moved away. Although I am friendly and outgoing, I tend to be rather isolative (which sounds strange as I just said I was outgoing LOL).

I recently got a puppy partly because I wanted a pet and now had time to devote to it, but partly also to have something to be responsible for and keep me active. I knew I have a tendency to stay to myself and not engage in a lot of outside activities and I wanted something not only to love (as I do have family) but also to force myself out of the house and be active. He is a LOT of work as he is very rambunctious, but he is adorable and loving and I am very happy I got him. He keeps me on my toes and it does force me out of the house several times a day. I don't know that this is something I would suggest to you however, as I said, it's a LOT of work but for me, it's been ideal.

I also don't know what to suggest other than what has already been suggested. I think the Vit. D thing is important.
I have read many of your posts and have always enjoyed them, you seem to be insightful and your posts are always interesting.

I have very sharp memories of living in NY many years ago and how long and dreary the months from January to April could seem and how often I wanted to stay indoors and enjoy being warm and cozy. Good luck to you and I sincerely hope you feel better. However, as others have said, nothing wrong with staying in and relaxing, particularly as the winter there has been pretty brutal so far.
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