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Old 01-12-2018, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,627 posts, read 4,686,468 times
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Ancient wisdom says the cure to being self-focused is to focus on someone else.

If You Volunteer, What Do You Actually Do?
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,688 posts, read 1,866,292 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skycaller23 View Post
Make your bed and get dressed first thing every morning while the coffee is brewing.

Nothing worse to set the stage for "doing nothing" then staying in your pajamas all day.
^^^this^^^

I make a point to make my bed right when I get up. Then make-up and put on nice casual outfit. Even if I'm doing nothing.
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Old 01-12-2018, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
27,798 posts, read 26,205,335 times
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Not the first post about making your bed (A habit that I have gotten into since my Army days 30 yrs ago).....when I see that recommendation, I think of Adm McRaven's speech few yrs ago:
------------------------

10 Life Lessons from Basic SEAL Training

1. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.
“If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”

https://workplacepsychology.net/2014...iam-h-mcraven/
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Old 01-12-2018, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,662 posts, read 3,239,300 times
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Much being said about making the bed as soon as you get up. I don't. And it is usually because one of my cats (usually Sam) likes to rise and shine very early (for me) around 5 or 6 and since I am a night owl and up till 1 a.m., the first thing I want is that cup of coffee. And on occasion, I go back to bed.
My eyes are very dry and at times when I wake up too early, they hurt pretty much and I have a hard time opening them (the light can be too much). After turning the coffee on, I have to get some artificial tears in them. So every morning is different for me. Thankfully, that does not happen every morning.
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Old 01-12-2018, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,732 posts, read 1,469,827 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Thank you for this. I have thought about it as you stated, after all the years of lots to do and not enough time, that relaxing with the computer, etc., isn't a "sin."

I do have depression but take meds for it and they work pretty well. I think it's more of an isolation thing, spend too much time alone. A little is good but too much isn't. I don't have a close friend and think that is what I miss the most. But it has been my choice.

There were times in my life when people said I was lazy if I didn't jump right up and do things immediately. I'm working at overcoming that guilt which I know is a big waste of time.
I thought depression even before reading your post. I suffered severe depression my whole life, tried all the current meds, for me they dont work because they cant. Depression is of the mind, not brain. Its possible to get free but i find very few people are willing to go to the lengths required. So I don't waste my time with people suffering depression. It's a problem of the will.

The solution isn't tried and found wanting.
It's found difficult and not tried.
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Old 01-12-2018, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,732 posts, read 1,469,827 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Ancient wisdom says the cure to being self-focused is to focus on someone else.

If You Volunteer, What Do You Actually Do?

Yes, spirituality says you can't keep it unless you give it all away.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:07 AM
 
2,449 posts, read 2,099,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZgarden View Post
I think WellShoneMoon has the answer, at least for me. I NEED to be EXPECTED to be somewhere on certain days. Otherwise, I, too am prone to lounging around in my jammies. (I am still in them right now). The computer is my downfall. I can spend hours on it, especially doing genealogy. I do it until my eyes are blurry and unable to continue. In summer, this won't happen. I will be outside in my garden, but for now, I need to get out of the house to feel better.
I totally agree with this. For me, I am not yet retired but I think that I will need to give myself a schedule of sorts, maybe only for 2 days or so that I will do such and such or even daily that I need to do accomplish x and y.

( could be reading a book or cleaning etc). I am working full time and ready to retire. I am alarmed with how much time I spend on the computer when I am home . I totally enjoy it and I am either on facebook or researching browsing etc so it's not a total waste of time but it's not productive and it gets to the point where it can't be good or healthy.
I am married so I am not alone. I would like to expand the social network though and have an occasional lunch or coffee /breakfast anything get together with another person.
So I think if I give myself a bunch of tasks I will not feel so decadent.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,211 posts, read 8,518,332 times
Reputation: 35606
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Much being said about making the bed as soon as you get up. I don't. And it is usually because one of my cats (usually Sam) likes to rise and shine very early (for me) around 5 or 6 and since I am a night owl and up till 1 a.m., the first thing I want is that cup of coffee. And on occasion, I go back to bed.
My eyes are very dry and at times when I wake up too early, they hurt pretty much and I have a hard time opening them (the light can be too much). After turning the coffee on, I have to get some artificial tears in them. So every morning is different for me. Thankfully, that does not happen every morning.
You need to listen to yourself... Three reasons not to take 2 minutes to make the bed. I don't care about that specifically but either you're depressed or something. Create barriers to going back to bed by making it and getting dressed -that's what people are saying.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,662 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11932
Quote:
Originally Posted by [B
reneeh63;[/b]50685479]You need to listen to yourself... Three reasons not to take 2 minutes to make the bed. I don't care about that specifically but either you're depressed or something. Create barriers to going back to bed by making it and getting dressed -that's what people are saying.

I am a night owl and don't normally get to bed till about 1 a.m. I have a cat who wants me up between 4:30 and 6 a.m. I have a one-bedroom apartment and I have put him out of the room and shut the door. But he makes plenty of noise about that so I usually give in as I don't want him to wake my downstairs neighbor. So no, I won't create a barrier to not going back to bed. I don't do very well on 3-4 hours of sleep. And I can't always nap in the day. I do think about re-homing him, but feel guilty about doing that, as he sat in a cage at the SPCA for a while before I adopted him.

Since I am retired with not a lot of scheduled things to do, I give in to him. I'm an animal lover from way back and yes, it's my suffering for allowing this to continue. But I think I would suffer more not knowing where he went.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,096 posts, read 45,613,761 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
There used to be a time in my life when I didn't know what a rut was . But I sure know what one is now and not making much headway getting out of it.

I've been medically retired since late 2010. Bilateral glaucoma surgeries. Long recovery. One eye still not "working" the way I'd like it to and it looks like it's a permanent thing.

Up until then I had a pretty bumpy road to ride on with various personal, employment, financial, family obstacles to overcome. I think once I had to go in for the eye surgeries and the very inactive recovery I had to adhere to, I more or less "deflated." In 2012 I had a knee surgery to clean out all the junk that was in there, then in 2014 I had a total knee replacement. So more time in recovery. I had already gotten used to the lack of activity due to eye surgeries, so it was "easy" to slip back into being a couch potato, TV watcher.

My oldest sister died two years ago after having spent 10 years in nursing home (long story, she was not well mentally or physically). Her adult daughter and I were the only relatives who could visit, advocate for her, etc., and I ended up doing most of it.

There were some other things that happened but already talked about too much.

So here I sit, Friday afternoon, brief nice weather interlude yesterday and today, heavy snow and cold winds forecasted for tomorrow. And I'm playing with computer and not dressed.

I've been telling myself I was due for this "rest". Worn out from all the above plus a few more.

But I'm 75 and putting on weight (not a good thing).

Before anyone here mentions it, yes I know I'm sitting on the pity pot. I'm the only one who can get myself off it.

That first step to get off it seems monumental to me. I find time flies by and before I know it, it's dark out and I don't go anywhere after dark (kind of a new thing for me).

Has anyone else "been there, done that?" How did you overcome it?
I’m about to turn 70, and dh and I have been retired for a few years. I struggled with feeling irrelevant for a few years. Now, I have basically decided to do, or not do, whatever I darn please, and not feel guilty about it.

Sitting around reading or knitting for a big part of the day is fine with me. I still enjoy meal planning and cooking, so that takes a bunch of time. I’m not much for exercising, but if I was feeling cooped up as you seem to be, I know some fresh air would perk me up. Go to your local library and get a few good books. In warm weather, I putter in the garden.

Do you have a pet? We resisted getting one, because we didn’t want to be tied down, but finally we realized we missed having something to fuss over, so we got a dog, and he is good for us.
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