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Old 01-11-2018, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,652 posts, read 3,235,973 times
Reputation: 11907

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There used to be a time in my life when I didn't know what a rut was . But I sure know what one is now and not making much headway getting out of it.

I've been medically retired since late 2010. Bilateral glaucoma surgeries. Long recovery. One eye still not "working" the way I'd like it to and it looks like it's a permanent thing.

Up until then I had a pretty bumpy road to ride on with various personal, employment, financial, family obstacles to overcome. I think once I had to go in for the eye surgeries and the very inactive recovery I had to adhere to, I more or less "deflated." In 2012 I had a knee surgery to clean out all the junk that was in there, then in 2014 I had a total knee replacement. So more time in recovery. I had already gotten used to the lack of activity due to eye surgeries, so it was "easy" to slip back into being a couch potato, TV watcher.

My oldest sister died two years ago after having spent 10 years in nursing home (long story, she was not well mentally or physically). Her adult daughter and I were the only relatives who could visit, advocate for her, etc., and I ended up doing most of it.

There were some other things that happened but already talked about too much.

So here I sit, Friday afternoon, brief nice weather interlude yesterday and today, heavy snow and cold winds forecasted for tomorrow. And I'm playing with computer and not dressed.

I've been telling myself I was due for this "rest". Worn out from all the above plus a few more.

But I'm 75 and putting on weight (not a good thing).

Before anyone here mentions it, yes I know I'm sitting on the pity pot. I'm the only one who can get myself off it.

That first step to get off it seems monumental to me. I find time flies by and before I know it, it's dark out and I don't go anywhere after dark (kind of a new thing for me).

Has anyone else "been there, done that?" How did you overcome it?
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,093 posts, read 5,877,402 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
There used to be a time in my life when I didn't know what a rut was . But I sure know what one is now and not making much headway getting out of it.

I've been medically retired since late 2010. Bilateral glaucoma surgeries. Long recovery. One eye still not "working" the way I'd like it to and it looks like it's a permanent thing.

Up until then I had a pretty bumpy road to ride on with various personal, employment, financial, family obstacles to overcome. I think once I had to go in for the eye surgeries and the very inactive recovery I had to adhere to, I more or less "deflated." In 2012 I had a knee surgery to clean out all the junk that was in there, then in 2014 I had a total knee replacement. So more time in recovery. I had already gotten used to the lack of activity due to eye surgeries, so it was "easy" to slip back into being a couch potato, TV watcher.

My oldest sister died two years ago after having spent 10 years in nursing home (long story, she was not well mentally or physically). Her adult daughter and I were the only relatives who could visit, advocate for her, etc., and I ended up doing most of it.

There were some other things that happened but already talked about too much.

So here I sit, Friday afternoon, brief nice weather interlude yesterday and today, heavy snow and cold winds forecasted for tomorrow. And I'm playing with computer and not dressed.

I've been telling myself I was due for this "rest". Worn out from all the above plus a few more.

But I'm 75 and putting on weight (not a good thing).

Before anyone here mentions it, yes I know I'm sitting on the pity pot. I'm the only one who can get myself off it.

That first step to get off it seems monumental to me. I find time flies by and before I know it, it's dark out and I don't go anywhere after dark (kind of a new thing for me).

Has anyone else "been there, done that?" How did you overcome it?

A friend and I were talking about this recently...we decided sitting around, playing on the computer or other behaviors that seem like "in a rut" are not that at all. After working 40 yrs., we both think it's fine to relax and to "do nothing". Puttering around or reading all day etc., is a reward for all the yrs. when we had no choice about what to do all day.

Now if you are depressed that's a different issue..do you think that might be a problem you have...?
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,652 posts, read 3,235,973 times
Reputation: 11907
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
A friend and I were talking about this recently...we decided sitting around, playing on the computer or other behaviors that seem like "in a rut" are not that at all. After working 40 yrs., we both think it's fine to relax and to "do nothing". Puttering around or reading all day etc., is a reward for all the yrs. when we had no choice about what to do all day.

Now if you are depressed that's a different issue..do you think that might be a problem you have...?

Thank you for this. I have thought about it as you stated, after all the years of lots to do and not enough time, that relaxing with the computer, etc., isn't a "sin."

I do have depression but take meds for it and they work pretty well. I think it's more of an isolation thing, spend too much time alone. A little is good but too much isn't. I don't have a close friend and think that is what I miss the most. But it has been my choice.

There were times in my life when people said I was lazy if I didn't jump right up and do things immediately. I'm working at overcoming that guilt which I know is a big waste of time.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Cochise county, AZ
4,960 posts, read 3,451,255 times
Reputation: 10475
I tend to sit around a lot, partly because of back& leg problems. It was much worse when I lived in Minnesota.

When I talked to my Dr in Minnesota, she ordered a vitamin D test. Lo & behold, because of the lack of sunlight, my vitamin D levels were way below normal. She put me on high level d & my energy came back.

The need for high level D is no longer an issue since I moved to Arizona but you may want to get that checked out. I was amazed at how much better I felt.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Central Ohio
611 posts, read 248,885 times
Reputation: 1118
NYgal, I probably don't have any great advice to give, but if it is any help, I always enjoy your posts and it seems like you have a lot on your plate and have overcome a lot in your life! Agree that after a lifetime of work, you sure don't need any excuse to veg out once in a while! How long have you been retired? Do you have any pets? If you wanted/had a dog, would you be able to walk it? (apologies if you have addressed this before!)

The Pacific NW winter is getting me down as well...(I know you are in NY, but sort of the same blahs....it's nasty, gray and raining all the time!) I try to walk the dog as much as I can, especially when the sun comes out (rarely and briefly!) I haven't been too concerned about the rut of retirement yet, as I just retired in June and enjoyed the summer....wonderful to not have to work in the summer months, but finding winter is BORING! And with the flu scare, trying to limit my forays into the outside world and human contact as much as possible! So....dang, I'm not helping much, am I??
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,652 posts, read 3,235,973 times
Reputation: 11907
Quote:
Originally Posted by meo92953 View Post
I tend to sit around a lot, partly because of back& leg problems. It was much worse when I lived in Minnesota.

When I talked to my Dr in Minnesota, she ordered a vitamin D test. Lo & behold, because of the lack of sunlight, my vitamin D levels were way below normal. She put me on high level d & my energy came back.

The need for high level D is no longer an issue since I moved to Arizona but you may want to get that checked out. I was amazed at how much better I felt.

A few years ago I was checked for that. And like you, I needed to take a high dose D for a while. But all seems to be OK for now.

I have a picture in my head of what I would like but I don't know how to find it, unless I drove to some places and had a look-around.

Like you, I want to get away from snow and cold.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:48 PM
 
Location: VT; previously MD & NJ
2,183 posts, read 1,338,732 times
Reputation: 6286
I was also going to mention the vitamin D. I have been taking it for years, but recently I changed my multivitamin to one that has more D in it, so this winter I have been getting 600 units more vitamin D than before. It made a big difference in the winter SAD syndrome.

The other thing I want to mention (because I tell myself every day) is: the days are getting longer now. It helps, a lot! And now we have had 3 days of warm (above freezing) weather. Went to the dog park yesterday and today. That helps the spirit too.

Don't be too down on yourself. It's been a difficult month for those of us in the north.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:52 PM
 
Location: 49th parallel
2,598 posts, read 1,355,863 times
Reputation: 5395
Ha! I know those NW winters. Sometimes you don't see the sun for a month.

But ANYHOO, there's no need to feel bad about vegging out in front of the computer or TV. Only thing I would say is, you would probably feel better each day if, before you did anything, you got into the shower and got dressed. That one small thing seems to contribute a lot toward a sense of well being.

Are you right on your own? It sounds like it, so that is doubly hard, trying to motivate yourself to do something, all by yourself. I'm not on my own but know I would probably have the same motivation problems you seem to have. I'm sure it's especially hard if you can't do a lot of close eye hobbies and can't be that active, either.

Be aware we all feel it's not that hard to fall into the "rut" trap. But try the thing I mentioned above. It might help a little bit. You never know.
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Southern California
23,636 posts, read 8,219,173 times
Reputation: 15428
Life can hit us with some curves we never expected. I worked 40 yrs and had a full time. Retired totally at 66 or so. Painted acrylics for 3 yrs and loved that.

Now at 79, deal with nasty arthritic back and knee that has put me thru hail in 2017 and I'm living with those remanents. Fear a knee replacement. Hip replacement in 2010 left me with too man surgery complications. So a knee surgery, I really fear I could end up worse. They cleaned out my knee in 2017 too and I sometimes wonder if it's worse from that clean out.

Many older people don't have much at all to do all day, makes for a long day. I have a 91 yr old friend and she is not even on computer, deals with glaucoma and lots of arthritis but a WILL to live.

Make sure that Vit D stays up there... I take Vit D3 and K2 every blessed day. I was low too in 2006.

I got rid of TV last year and have talk radio on all day. I enjoy hearing from others on the radio.

For weight control, I've really changed what I put in my mouth since I cannot work out and not walk a lot. No bread, no pasta and now and then a carb treat meal. Like personal pizza or out with a friend for sushi.

On friends -- most don't want to hear our moans and groans and I don't blame them. I try to keep upbeat when I do talk to some of them. But they know what I deal with.

Getting into meditation, and it's really easy if one just does it. Can change the mind chemistry so much in our bodies. Can't say enough about it. Since we have so much time on our hands meditation is easy to "fit in"...even 8-10 minutes a day....Learn to do it and it does give one's spirit a LIFT.

I'm looking for a homeopathic or essential oil that might give me a lift. I don't want to take the A/D drugs.

Thyroid is also so missed by many doctors as they are so glued to their numbers..and don't go to the symptoms that the old time doctors dealt with. I lived in 10 yrs of depression and given all the G.D. drugs and it was thyroid...once I got on support, things lifted big time..that was in 2002.

Anyway, you are not alone, and count blessings as there are many. jam

The best thing my ex did over 50 yrs ago was drag me to CA..hard as it was back then, I am so thankful for the SUN.
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Southern California
23,636 posts, read 8,219,173 times
Reputation: 15428
Quote:
Originally Posted by ansible90 View Post
I was also going to mention the vitamin D. I have been taking it for years, but recently I changed my multivitamin to one that has more D in it, so this winter I have been getting 600 units more vitamin D than before. It made a big difference in the winter SAD syndrome.

The other thing I want to mention (because I tell myself every day) is: the days are getting longer now. It helps, a lot! And now we have had 3 days of warm (above freezing) weather. Went to the dog park yesterday and today. That helps the spirit too.

Don't be too down on yourself. It's been a difficult month for those of us in the north.
I take 5K D3 and K2 daily and some days 10K...once those levels are so low, it's a long way up. I felt best at 80 on the range, and then a hip replacement surgery knocked down my levels....so I'm working my way back up. So much to learn about this D and so many missing this vital "hormone". j
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