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Old 01-13-2018, 04:07 PM
 
6,205 posts, read 2,865,717 times
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My Great-Aunt chose this route. Best thing for her too! Her 24 hour CareGiver was a blessing.
And yes the Lady resided there and received a small weekly pay.. $100, to cover her personal needs.

PLease understand that there AREsome goodhearted health aides willing to respect the seniors and their property.

I worked in an ALF, it was a MoneyGrinder...Constantly finding ways to financially cripple the elders. Til one day they would be placed into a County run home which was filled with negligence.


My state currently has a program to assist persons of your means to seek home care. Seems that Elders fair better in their own home . It cost more for the state to subsidize an elder in a facility. So they consider it a win win to keep a person at home with a more personal care environment. I'd recommend at the very least checking with your state of residency to see if they have such programs in place.

Good Health and Best wishes for your goal. I personally Hope to go this route when the time comes....
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:46 PM
 
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My mother is currently paying almost $2000/ week for full-time(24/7) live-in help, through an agency. It is not a money saving option. She is well taken care of though, and her meals and transportation needs are met.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:24 PM
 
11,133 posts, read 8,540,714 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LesLucid View Post
We could provide free room and board for a person in exchange for a few errands and chores. They should have plenty of time to pursue other interests (education, professional development, etc.). Does anyone here have any experience with this, first or second hand? Aside from finding someone compatible you can trust, what sort of issues might be expected? Thanks for any input.
These "free room and board" arrangements rarely work out outside of family members. Don't try to cheap out. If you need help, use a service or formally hire someone.

Also, remember that this person will legally be a resident of your home and may not leave if you fire them. It happened with a "room & board in exchange for nanny services" case:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSBTTmahTVE
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Grove City, Ohio
10,133 posts, read 12,385,819 times
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Nobody knows what is going to happen we live day by day.
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:21 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,202,393 times
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NO, it's not realistic, go visit the Caregiving forum. It's never ending. Especially the stories of people being uncooperative.

People show up with this same idea. They say they want "An older retired lady or college student". "My mom sleeps all day and just needs a babysiter". Then, after further questioning we hear that good old mom has dementia, is incontinent, won't eat and can't even get out of the chair.

What kind of person do you think you're going to get for free room and board?

Sounds like you're talking about laundry and cooking but you should be thinking MEDICAL not some vague "no longer able do do stuff".

No matter how much money you have, the time may come when you have to get OUT. Caregivers aren't able to do everything. IE: Dementia, strokes, mobility issues requiring two people to simply transfer you into a chair and much more. If you cannot be cared for properly, nobody decent is going to take that job. And that means if you can't walk unassisted you can't be left alone in case of fire, for example.

Lastly, people always wait too long and the family is in denial so they don't get out until it's a drastic, dramatic emergency situation. And then, without pre-planning you end up in a dump because all the beds are filled in the good places OR you can't afford them. Then of course, there's the problem with POAs. Nobody has them and nobody wants to do it. Then there's the hoarding issues where nobody can get the hoarder OUT or even clean up the place to sell it or move. LOL.

This is around the time people say "I'll die first before I'll go to one of ~those places."

No, you won't. Now what?
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Old 01-14-2018, 05:44 AM
 
2,952 posts, read 1,638,569 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
I'm sorry. This is a fantasy that a number of seniors have: The honest, trustworthy, healthy youngster with a strong back who will be so pantingly grateful for a place to live that s/he won't even ask for a living wage. Assuming s/he will even take the job when it becomes apparent they will be on call 24 hours a day.

It is not going to happen. And it shouldn't happen because it is fraught with peril for YOU.

Let's say the healthy youngster simply refuses to do the "few errands and chores." He'd rather play Xbox all day. You tell him to move out and his response is: "Evict me." In many if not all states inhabiting a dwelling 30 or more days makes you a tenant...even if you don't pay rent.

The reality of home health aides, should you hire from one of those $20+ per hour agencies, is that they are often older women who cannot transfer a client unassisted. Some of the aides my MIL had were sicker than she was, because that is who will work for what those agencies pay them.

If all you want is errands and chores done, why not hire those out piecemeal instead of taking a stranger into your home? Later on you can explore a move into assisted living.

My neighbors fantasy also. And they are rich! Although they are making friends with younger people who they think will gladly move in with the promise of being left in their will! They are extremely cheap, argue constantly in front of other friends, have weird quirks, always want something for nothing, and he doesn't like other opinions. To each his own. I give anyone who tries to take this on, one month max. I would not trust them to say the perosn would be left in the will, prove it and make caretakers part nonrevokable.

Before having anyone in home taking care of a loved one, First thing to do is you have any valuables like expensive art, jewelry, and collectables, sell them or give them to the loved one. They will be stolen. This has been going on for decades with care givers. Especially when kids live away from the area parents live. WE experienced this.
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Old 01-14-2018, 05:50 AM
 
13,912 posts, read 7,405,593 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
Nobody knows what is going to happen we live day by day.
This

My plan is to age in place for as long as possible. 992 square foot single level home with a 3’x5’ shower. High density suburban with urban a couple miles away. The town has good senior services. I can get everything delivered. Labor costs are reasonable so I can hire people to do things for me. It doesn’t replace a memory care facility if I get dementia or a nursing home if I need 24x7 care but it prolongs how long I can stay at home safely.
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Old 01-14-2018, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Dayton, OH
605 posts, read 273,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr5150 View Post
Maybe, maybe not says this retired Social Worker. I worked with seniors in our area and the great majority were fine in their 80s then died before needing to have a live-in caregiver or needed assistive living.

With that said it doesn’t hurt to plan. But it’s not a given you’ll live long enough to require care.
So true!

My grandmother lived in her own two-story house until she was 98, climbing stairs and walking to church every day. When she eventually started to decline mentally, her physical collapse happened quickly. She was in a nursing home for only a short time (less than a year). My other grandmother moved into a 55+ community when she and my grandfather were in their 70s (I think), and she never saw the inside of a nursing home. She died at 96.

You may die in your sleep in your own bed tonight (my grandfather did when I was very young).

None of us knows how long we have and how long we will be able to care for ourselves, but assisted living and/or nursing home care is definitely not inevitable.
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:11 AM
 
364 posts, read 125,922 times
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There's a big difference between needing a significant amount of physical care versus needing a small amount of assistance with shopping, errands, rides, or household issues. If a senior is still mobile and not senile, they are better off staying in their home and obtaining some services. Not all of them are paid services. You just have to look around. There are some county-wide services for lower income seniors or church/volunteer organizations that help seniors. Also there are local neighbors who will do things like mow lawns.

One doesn't need to move into a full-scale/expensive facility if they only need a small amount of services. Anyway, for many seniors it's a fantasy to think they can afford (and I quote jghorton): "...very nice ones with excellent community restaurants/dining rooms, luxury condo style living units, transportation, etc..." Who can afford to pay for all that? Many seniors can't afford to live like that NOW, why would they have the financial resources to move into such settings once they need some help?

I know 2 disabled seniors who lives at home alone. One is getting assistance from the church with meals and rides to appointments and has a son who comes once a week to help. She has a neighbor cut her grass (for a fee). the other disabled person has a friend who does errands and shopping, a brother who does lawn cutting and takes him to appointments, and a private duty aide comes in and helps him with personal care twice a week. The aide was found by word of mouth. She is reputable and charges a very reasonable fee.

Sometimes all a senior needs (for awhile, that is) is someone to help with errands and rides. It doesn't make sense to me to move into a fancy schmancy facility with all the bells and whistles where you have to pay someone at the facility to change a lightbulb for you and pay for 3 meals a day at fancy restaurants in the facility. Why do that if you only need a little assistance? Not everyone can afford those facilities.

Most of the elderly people I know are still living alone at home up until 90. With help. The ones who end up needing full scale nursing care in a nursing home are generally extremely overweight people who never kept up their physical conditioning and thus cannot walk or toilet themselves anymore. They end up needing full scale nursing care. People in reasonable physical shape do not need that. And people who are on their way out of this world, well, they certainly don't need a fancy facility at that point.
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Old 01-14-2018, 09:13 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,202,393 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smt1111 View Post
There's a big difference between needing a significant amount of physical care versus needing a small amount of assistance with shopping, errands, rides, or household issues. If a senior is still mobile and not senile, they are better off staying in their home and obtaining some services. Not all of them are paid services. You just have to look around. There are some county-wide services for lower income seniors or church/volunteer organizations that help seniors. Also there are local neighbors who will do things like mow lawns.

One doesn't need to move into a full-scale/expensive facility if they only need a small amount of services. Anyway, for many seniors it's a fantasy to think they can afford (and I quote jghorton): "...very nice ones with excellent community restaurants/dining rooms, luxury condo style living units, transportation, etc..." Who can afford to pay for all that? Many seniors can't afford to live like that NOW, why would they have the financial resources to move into such settings once they need some help?

I know 2 disabled seniors who lives at home alone. One is getting assistance from the church with meals and rides to appointments and has a son who comes once a week to help. She has a neighbor cut her grass (for a fee). the other disabled person has a friend who does errands and shopping, a brother who does lawn cutting and takes him to appointments, and a private duty aide comes in and helps him with personal care twice a week. The aide was found by word of mouth. She is reputable and charges a very reasonable fee.

Sometimes all a senior needs (for awhile, that is) is someone to help with errands and rides. It doesn't make sense to me to move into a fancy schmancy facility with all the bells and whistles where you have to pay someone at the facility to change a lightbulb for you and pay for 3 meals a day at fancy restaurants in the facility. Why do that if you only need a little assistance? Not everyone can afford those facilities.

Most of the elderly people I know are still living alone at home up until 90. With help. The ones who end up needing full scale nursing care in a nursing home are generally extremely overweight people who never kept up their physical conditioning and thus cannot walk or toilet themselves anymore. They end up needing full scale nursing care. People in reasonable physical shape do not need that. And people who are on their way out of this world, well, they certainly don't need a fancy facility at that point.
If the OP were talking about lawn cutting, errands and rides, he wouldn't have been asking about live in help for room and board.

I think your (bolded) comment suggests to me that you're totally unfamiliar with the needs of people who do need assisted living, memory care or skilled.

Do you seriously think the quality of care doesn't matter in a "fancy schmancy facility" or otherwise, for people who are "on their way out of this world"? What does that even mean? You can be in memory care for a decade. Same with other serious conditions (not saying it's a median, just sayin'....)

Maybe if someone you know gets macular degeneration or a debilitating long term illness like MS, or a stroke, you'll have better first hand information.

Like my size 8 client with dementia who was a quasi tennis pro who could keep up with Cris Everett and her mom. NEVER broke a bone all the times she fell because of that pounding in tennis. Didn't do her a bit of good when she couldn't be left at home safely.

Oh and your theory about incontinent people (and other conditions) all just because they're fat, is not accurate.

Even if it were fact, so what? Most of the country is fat and malnourished and don't "take care of themselves".
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