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Old 01-13-2018, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Maryland
1,768 posts, read 566,969 times
Reputation: 3899

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My wife and I are both retired, 70 years old. We still have a bit left to pay on our currrent home, lots of equity, no other debts, living comfortably right now for our life style. We've been wondering what to do.

I despise the idea of most senior living communities because I like movies at theater sound level (and have the equipment to do it) I have a loud, obnoxious hot rod and I like shooting guns and I don't care much for people. I don't play tennis, golf and would prefer to live in an un-manicured woods rather than a neat, tidy community. So, if anyone knows a community like that, that would be if interest. I do know about the one in Florida that caters to car/RV enthusiasts....about as close as I've come to something of interest.

Anyway, we've been discussing just staying here and instead having someone move into the house later that could maybe help us out when we're not capable any longer of taking care of things. Our house is large and would be paid off by then and has the ability to configure easily with in law suite, separate kitchen and entrance. My question is, has anyone here tried this? We could provide free room and board for a person in exchange for a few errands and chores. They should have plenty of time to pursue other interests (education, professional development, etc.). Does anyone here have any experience with this, first or second hand? Aside from finding someone compatible you can trust, what sort of issues might be expected? Thanks for any input.
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Old 01-13-2018, 11:47 AM
 
6,253 posts, read 4,728,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LesLucid View Post
....... We could provide free room and board for a person in exchange for a few errands and chores. .......
I think you are underestimating the changes to come. I am sure the time will come when you need help with a few errands and chores. Soon after those needs will grow and you will need much more.


To some extent we are doing the same sort of thing. We have remodeled a house to accommodate us and the daughter, SIL and the grandkids. My SIL does (minimal) yard work. They handle our mail and watch our side of the house when we are traveling. As we age and need more serious help, we will look for other arrangements.
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Old 01-13-2018, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,087 posts, read 12,470,641 times
Reputation: 26111
I would recommend whomever you choose, interview research run criminal history and credit checks, and interview interview interview.

Years ago when my dad had a stroke at age 80 I hired home health to help him. An absolute nightmare, and went through five different aids. All live in, and the cost was around $3,000 a month to the agency.

I hope yall can find someone you trust.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,007 posts, read 2,170,636 times
Reputation: 6691
The thing is you could also need full time personal/medical care. We are doing something similar but with family. we bought a large 5 bedroom house in WV to retire to because of the cost, we also got One of my children and his family to move in with us.
The purpose of this is for them to take care of us. We both have health and disability issues.

I think in some ways it would be harder with strangers, and you would want ones with training at some point, so you are probably talking about several different care givers over time and finding ones you can trust or that have the right stuff can be very hard indeed.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:05 PM
Status: "Re-edit status" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Was Midvalley Oregon; Now Eastside Seattle area
4,170 posts, read 1,895,955 times
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I personally have not.
We have done home care for our parents. I lived with my mother for 10 years(?) and commuted a couple of times a day to check on my in-laws who were in our home.
My cousins got a in-home care for my aunt (their mother). Initially as watch and household care, then later for 24hr care when she became comatose. A nursing home would have been prohibitively expensive. The caregiver got a small compensation and later was given the condo (Huntington Beach).

I have an acquaintances that do this. Both are vetted.
One is a full time caregiver and is paid besides R & B.
One is a support giver. He gets to stay in the Pickup camper and use of the facilities and utilities. No other expenses. His duties are very light, which is basically to be there at night. He paid when there is heavier work and does other work outside of the residence.

We plan to have something to what you envision. We have LTCi which will compensate for the care. We bought a larger retirement condo than we current need for your future purpose.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,764 posts, read 10,840,630 times
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Most people move to assisted/senior living facilities because of age/health-related issues, not for the woods, shooting ranges, hot rod clubs and theaters. Still, there are some very nice ones with excellent community restaurants/dining rooms, luxury condo style living units, transportation, etc.. Since the reality is often better than the perception of many, it might be worth your while to visit some, before the need actually arises.

I've ministered to several folks who chose the in-home healthcare/assistance route. The problem there is one winds-up with an ever-changing rotation of CNA's who earn near minimum wage - and act like it! (The client, however, pays a relatively high agency rate of $20+!). One also needs a trusted friend/healthcare surrogate or family member to oversee their care. Also, CNA's aren't qualified (or allowed) to administer drugs or provide real nursing care. Thus, one will pay far more for regular in-home service (and get much less), than one will pay for a very nice ALF. Most ALF's also offer more extensive nursing care and "memory units, etc." These allow a smooth transition (and dual care) for the spouse who needs it -- and the spouse who is still able to get by with ALF care. (Nursing home facilities generally run about 2-3X the ALF cost).

We've purchased long-term-care insurance that provides 6-years of care, that can be used by either/both of us. IMO, the likelihood that one or both of us will eventually need it ... is pretty high. Also, Medicare does NOT cover ALF/Nursing Home care, plus, gaining such care without insurance, is a very limited proposition.

Last edited by jghorton; 01-13-2018 at 12:20 PM..
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:21 PM
 
6,313 posts, read 5,053,602 times
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People used to do this all the time. But back in the day it was family that took care of them - usually the daughters.

Should work out, why not?

But if you get really ill and have lots of doctor appointments, it can be a pain to transport back and forth. My mom used to have to be taken in a stretcher to some of her appointments. We lived about an hour from the medical care she needed at the time.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Maryland
1,768 posts, read 566,969 times
Reputation: 3899
Interesting/useful comments so far. Thanks all.

I should have mentioned, when it comes time that we will need daily medical care of some sort, we will just sell everything, bite the bullet and move to some sort of assisted living. We do not really have family we can fall back on.

jghorton did the right thing. I wish we had done something like that a long time ago.....not feasible now of course.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Sierra Nevada Land, CA
8,395 posts, read 9,141,441 times
Reputation: 13031
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I think you are underestimating the changes to come. I am sure the time will come when you need help with a few errands and chores. Soon after those needs will grow and you will need much more.


.
Maybe, maybe not says this retired Social Worker. I worked with seniors in our area and the great majority were fine in their 80s then died before needing to have a live in caregiver or needed assistive living.

With that said it doesn’t hurt to plan. But it’s not a given you’ll live long enough to require care.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Tampa, FL
27,798 posts, read 26,209,546 times
Reputation: 14611
Quote:
Originally Posted by LesLucid View Post
My wife and I are both retired, 70 years old. We still have a bit left to pay on our currrent home, lots of equity, no other debts, living comfortably right now for our life style. We've been wondering what to do.

I despise the idea of most senior living communities because I like movies at theater sound level (and have the equipment to do it) I have a loud, obnoxious hot rod and I like shooting guns and I don't care much for people. I don't play tennis, golf and would prefer to live in an un-manicured woods rather than a neat, tidy community. So, if anyone knows a community like that, that would be if interest. I do know about the one in Florida that caters to car/RV enthusiasts....about as close as I've come to something of interest.

Anyway, we've been discussing just staying here and instead having someone move into the house later that could maybe help us out when we're not capable any longer of taking care of things. Our house is large and would be paid off by then and has the ability to configure easily with in law suite, separate kitchen and entrance. My question is, has anyone here tried this? We could provide free room and board for a person in exchange for a few errands and chores. They should have plenty of time to pursue other interests (education, professional development, etc.). Does anyone here have any experience with this, first or second hand? Aside from finding someone compatible you can trust, what sort of issues might be expected? Thanks for any input.
curiously nothing was posted about your wife's interests/wants/needs - just your own.....is she also interested in hot rods, loud movies, and shooting guns? once you're out of the picture (if you predecease her), will she be fine w/ woodsy living arrangement?
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