U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-16-2018, 11:23 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,751 posts, read 7,030,085 times
Reputation: 14250

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
Heck, forget elderly. I had my knee replaced last December, whew talk about pain. I was on a drug cocktail of oxycotin, tramadol and acetaminophen. I would NOT have had the complete recovery had I not had the help of my kids and my bff.

I see no point "going it alone" as if "roughing it " earns you some type of medal. I have to have the other knee done at some point and yes, I will gladly take the "help"
Agreed. Doesn't matter how old we are, sometimes we find ourselves in a situation of needing some help. Whether it's a lot or a little help, that help can be a "hand up" to get us back into a place where we are again self-sufficient, and we can thank that Deity (or the Fates, or our loved ones or other caretakers) for that help.

Or even when the help must be ongoing, having it can help us to otherwise live our lives as normally as we can. If we didn't have that help, we'd be isolated, immobile, or otherwise unable to carry out the activities of daily living.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-16-2018, 11:23 AM
 
6,878 posts, read 7,276,074 times
Reputation: 9786
Quote:
EDIT: I suppose that was rather tart, but my point is: deciding that your regime (whatever it may consist of: Rx, snake oil, exercise, diet, whatever) will mean that you will never need outside help is ludicrous.
I don't think the OP said, or even implied, that any given person -- whoever it might be -- would NEVER need outside help.

I think the point was made quite well -- that it's surprising sometimes -- and encouraging actually -- just how much a person can do for him - or herself, if the person has the desire to. Does that mean that's ALL you need? the 'desire' to do it? No. it means just what was stated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2018, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Southern California
23,707 posts, read 8,243,442 times
Reputation: 15464
Quote:
Originally Posted by selhars View Post
I don't think the OP said, or even implied, that any given person -- whoever it might be -- would NEVER need outside help.

I think the point was made quite well -- that it's surprising sometimes -- and encouraging actually -- just how much a person can do for him - or herself, if the person has the desire to. Does that mean that's ALL you need? the 'desire' to do it? No. it means just what was stated.
Of course I never said that, and I do get help from neighbors on food buying and sometimes my daughter when she isn't crazed busy with her life. We don't have spouses and that can make a major difference.

I order delivery and pay for that delivery.

My apt need cleaning and I will pay for that.

A neighbor does a load of laundry here and there for me. I offer her money, but she refuses.

Life changes and we have to adjust but not give up.

My neighbor called me a while ago ago the Wafers she's taking for IBS and then said she is going to get a body adjustment from the D.O. she and I both go to, not me so much anymore. But this work helps her arthritic body. She gets senior rides for very low money, like 1.00 each way.

We do happen to live in a very alternative/holistic healing part of the U.S.

I have known some ladies in my older years who have gotten into Hud housing, gotten rid of MOST of their lifetime possessions, and got on waiting lists for this housing, and many need low income housing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2018, 05:14 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,099 posts, read 3,459,108 times
Reputation: 10163
I know if I need help my husband will provide it; I watched him care for his elderly father and frankly was amazed at this kindness and competence (we have no kids so I never saw him in a care giving role).

He knows that I will do the same for him (and we have the funds to do it at the highest possible level).

But unless we die together in some horrible accident, the last man or woman standing will have big issues, especially if their mental acuity fails.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2018, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,035 posts, read 54,537,410 times
Reputation: 66385
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
I agree.

and I'm not sure I understand the intent. First, I find nothing wrong with help at any age. I stop singing the song "I'm every woman" a long time ago. I've needed help throughout my life and I thank my God daily that it was there and that I have loving folks who were willing to help.

I have no desire to be a lone wolf.

Next, not understanding the correlation op. are you saying that people who need help "won't " do for themselves? totally not true? are you saying that people who don't need help have "better" lives? also untrue.

My Aunt Queen turned 100 last year, we took her to Disneyworld lol that's where she said she wanted to go. We had help. at the airport, at the hotel, at the parks. It made her happy, allowed her to spend fun time with her great grandkids, her great nieces and nephews etc.


Heck, I'm 58 I had a total knee replacement in December of 2016, Yep my sons helped me the first few weeks. thank god they did. Actually I think I did better with the help, it allowed me to focus totally on following my doctors orders, prevented me from getting infections in my wound which often causes revisions and they forced me to do my pt exercises when I would rather have not.
I'm 59. Two years ago I fell down some stairs, and I injured my mid back and couldn't hold myself up. I'd texted on the sisters/daughters family group text that I was having trouble opening a can of cat food, because I couldn't stand upright and hold the can and pull the tab, so I had my arms on the counter and was trying to open the can.

My daughter, who is three hours away, said, "I am coming, Mom." I said, "No, no, stay up there, I'll be fine." She texted back, "I'm already on my way. I didn't think I'd have to wipe your ass for another 30 years, but I'm on my way."

(She didn't really have to wipe my ass...)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2018, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Sydney Australia
597 posts, read 352,778 times
Reputation: 885
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarciaMarshaMarcia View Post
^^^Your neighbor is 90 and surfs? I think Iím in love!
Yes, but he actually does get help in a way as he goes surfing with one of his retired sons. Most mornings in summer. (I hope they do not wear speedos, or budgie smugglers as we call them. I have decided they are not a good look in older men) I guess he is very fortunate in that about three of his kids live nearby and you often see them there or taking him out. He handed in his driving licence willingly when he was about 85 and often gets the bus to wherever. Puts my husband to shame with all he does in the garden and you often see him hanging out the washing (it is normal in this country to hang out washing, does not indicate poverty!!)

But I have just been with a friend whose husband died last week from a brain tumour at 71. This is the second time she has been widowed. She was saying that it just isn't fair. I agree, and unfortunately life is not fair.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-16-2018, 10:02 PM
 
6,616 posts, read 3,744,488 times
Reputation: 13682
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I'm confused about the purpose or point of this thread.
Maybe it's your age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top