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Old 01-18-2018, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Tucson Arizona
3,892 posts, read 1,653,380 times
Reputation: 10214

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Oh hell no.
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Old 01-18-2018, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Idaho
1,454 posts, read 1,155,024 times
Reputation: 5492
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
You tell me that I am wrong when I pity people who have not found satisfaction in their retirement. Then to prove my point you go on about being forced to retire due to family issues and not having found what you wanted in retirement.


Maybe pity is the wrong word, but I do feel sorry for you or anyone else who has not been able to find satisfaction, joy, and excitement in retirement. It is sad when anyone lives in the past and has not seen their life improve in retirement. I hope your present and future can become even better than the past.


I am sad that you have family members with serious health issues. That has to be a real downer whether retired or still working.
jrkliny,

You just don't get it, do you? Missing one's work life does not mean one is not happy in retirement. Do you ever fondly remember of the things you did in the past? Trips that you took, past achievements that you were (or are) proud of? Remembering or missing all the great things that you did does not mean that you are currently unhappy, unfulfilled!!!! A more drastic example would apply for widows or widowers. One could have had a great marriage, lost his/her life partner then remarried. Does missing your previous spouse means you are unhappy with the current one? If one is happy in the second marriage, does this mean the first one was horrible? When one remarries after losing a beloved spouse, does one expect the second marriage to be an improvement?

I was not forced to retire. It was not easy for me to make the decision but I made it willingly and very glad that I made it. Where did I write that I have not found what I wanted in retirement?? In spite of my husband's back pain, we have taken many fantastic trips, doing and learning many new things together. In some ways, the last 2 years were like a second honeymoon for us. I traded my fulfilled work life for a fulfilled retirement life. The trade was made at the right time. I have no regrets. Having good thoughts about your past life does not mean there is nothing good about your current life.

I got quite a few of reps for my previous post in this thread so it is clear that I was not the only one who was bothered by your constant expression of pity for people who does not think or live like you.

Do me a favor and stop interpreting my life and other retirees' lives here as sad, not fulfilling as yours!!!!! How many times that I have to declare that I am very happy and contented in retirement. I have lived a very full and rich life. My life has always been great so why the heck that I need it to be improved in retirement?

Hey, I could do the reverse and pity you or others who are ONLY happier in retirement and felt miserable while working. A typical retirees worked for 35-40 years before retirement (SS benefits are calculated for the average earning of 35 working years). Recent statistics show that American women are projected to live until age 81, while men are projected to live until 76 years of age. So if you had retired at 65, you only have around 12 years in retirement. If you were miserable all your working life, did not try to find a career or a job that you could enjoy, and had to endure until the day you retire, this means you are only happy for 1/3 of your life. Since I am happy both in working and retirement, I have 100% happy, happy, joy, joy life. Boy, do I feel pity for you ;-) Of course, I am just being facetious here. I count my blessings for having had good jobs and rewarding careers. There are so many people who are not as fortunate. We all see life and others through the darkly tinted glasses of our own experience. I just wish that people acknowledge the fact that there are people with different experience and different POVs.

There are no denials that we are getting older. My husband's illness is just a fact of life. I am doing everything that I can to stay healthy but fully anticipate the day that I no longer able to do the things which I enjoy. Your wish for me to have a present and future 'better' than the past is totally wasted unless you can recommend a health tonic or supplement to make me as strong as when I was twenty!

BTW, if you wait until retirement to find happiness and fulfillment, the portion of your happy life will certainly be reduced from the 1/3 ratio calculated in a previous paragraph due to declining health. Geez, I really feel sorry for you and wish you a lot of luck in staying healthy, strong and able forever ;-)

I appreciate that you express sadness about my family serious health issues. However, please don't pity me. I am a realist. It's life.

Being an optimist, I even see many silver linings about life challenges. I did not realize that my daughter is so well-loved by many friends and clients. The continuous outpouring of love and support from hundreds of people that she has received touch me tremendously. Spending a few months with her and witnessing her husband's love and devotion made me so happy that she has a wonderful life partner. They were engaged to be married this spring. They went to the city hall and signed the marriage certificate the first working day after she was diagnosed. She was able to add her husband's tricare insurance to her skimpy health insurance plan the next day. Of course, they planned to get married anyway but the decision to move up the date showed that they were very smart. It was another proof of their love and devotion to each other.

Even my husband found something good about his bouts of sciatica. He said it makes him appreciate life more and encourage him to do and try new things, visit new places whenever he is able.

So, don't pity or feel sad for us. Unneeded expressed pity can be seen as patronizing or a need to feel superior! The life challenges that we have faced are not downers and in some way, the are 'uppers'. They make us appreciate life and each other more. They make us want to continue living life to the fullness, just do the things we want and able to do because tomorrow may be too late.

Last edited by BellaDL; 01-18-2018 at 12:20 PM..
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Old 01-18-2018, 01:30 PM
 
6,253 posts, read 4,731,924 times
Reputation: 12844
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
......

Do me a favor and stop interpreting my life and other retirees' lives here as sad, not fulfilling as yours!!!!! ........
I have no idea what you are complaining about or why you seem to be upset.


I never said anything about you or your situation. Instead you jumped all over me because I said I felt sorry for anyone who was not satisfied and happy about their life in retirement. Again, I never mentioned you or even have any knowledge of your situation. Then you told what sounded like a long sad story. I said I hoped your future would improve. Now you think I am telling you how to live? Weird.
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Old 01-18-2018, 04:01 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,569 posts, read 39,952,759 times
Reputation: 23704
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaDL View Post
jrkliny,

You just don't get it, do you? ...

...
So, don't pity or feel sad for us. Unneeded expressed pity can be seen as patronizing or a need to feel superior! The life challenges that we have faced are not downers and in some way, the are 'uppers'. They make us appreciate life and each other more. They make us want to continue living life to the fullness, just do the things we want and able to do because tomorrow may be too late.
^^^^^^^^^^^

Many (here) ...just don't get it, ...? ... specific to our 'gentrified' (sheltered) demographic.

Some return to work by choice
Some return due to necessity
Some never return

Certainly (hopefully) we all have had moments to be remembered from our 'work' +/-

nightmares for some, delights for others. Such is life. (dealing with it as it comes)
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Old 01-18-2018, 05:01 PM
 
Location: S.W. Florida
2,209 posts, read 932,574 times
Reputation: 6233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonlady View Post
Absolutely not! I do miss the interaction with people and a few work friends, but I miss nothing about the job. That's was 38.5 years of corporate life will do to you- I was beyond burnout when I left.
Couldn’t have said it any better! This describes me to a “T”!

I occasionally hear from former colleagues but I don’t miss the job one bit.
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Old 01-18-2018, 09:06 PM
 
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,455 posts, read 3,755,784 times
Reputation: 9602
Odd (wo)man out here. I would very much like to have a full time job just to build up my assets and further contribute to my Social Security. I'm single, I am blessed with good health (so far-so good, knock on wood) and I have no obligations to deter me from full time work.

Sadly (in my experience and it's not because I expect some grand position) it is tough at this age to find full time work.

That's just me though.
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Old 01-18-2018, 09:37 PM
 
5,426 posts, read 3,449,470 times
Reputation: 13709
Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeIsWhere... View Post
Odd (wo)man out here. I would very much like to have a full time job just to build up my assets and further contribute to my Social Security. I'm single, I am blessed with good health (so far-so good, knock on wood) and I have no obligations to deter me from full time work.

Sadly (in my experience and it's not because I expect some grand position) it is tough at this age to find full time work.

That's just me though.
What is your age if you feel like saying? It sounds like you are out of the workforce - for how long have you been out of the workforce or did you work quite a while ago?
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Old 01-22-2018, 12:15 PM
 
Location: East of the Mississippi and South of Bluegrass
4,455 posts, read 3,755,784 times
Reputation: 9602
Default Do you miss working?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HomeIsWhere... View Post
Odd (wo)man out here. I would very much like to have a full time job just to build up my assets and further contribute to my Social Security. I'm single, I am blessed with good health (so far-so good, knock on wood) and I have no obligations to deter me from full time work.

Sadly (in my experience and it's not because I expect some grand position) it is tough at this age to find full time work.

That's just me though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
What is your age if you feel like saying? It sounds like you are out of the workforce - for how long have you been out of the workforce or did you work quite a while ago?
Thanks for your interest matisse12, sincerely.

Old enough.

Do you assume circumstances frequently? Why does it sound like I'm out of the workforce? I'm not working full time which does not equal being out of the workforce. Part time work does not help me reach my goals and aspirations (yes, I still have them).

Part time work is enough for visits to the hairdresser, gas and maintenance on the car, minor social obligations and that's about it. I'm not an aerospace engineer working part time so obviously my part time payscale will reflect that, hence I'm not able to meet my goals and aspirations.

As I have said, in my experience I have found it difficult to find full time work. Oh, I could accept a position selling insurance (the one offer I received for a full time position), no salary but rather commission. Uhm, I'm thinking no.
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Old 01-22-2018, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,690 posts, read 1,869,692 times
Reputation: 11316
I have already responded, but I will again. I was thinking today how I don't even think about my old job or the workers. Just not my reality anymore. I think about getting a little part time job at Chicos or something and I think, nah, I wouldn't want to put up with snippy managers and customers.

I have stayed pretty busy and I wonder how I even found TIME to work.

So far so good. One month tomorrow.
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Old 01-22-2018, 12:53 PM
 
2,235 posts, read 1,102,902 times
Reputation: 9113
Before I retired, I thought that I would, but nope, not at all.
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