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Old 01-24-2018, 05:11 AM
 
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It's somebody else's turn with your grandmother and the step-grandchild. If your aunt has to move to find work, that's how it goes. Why should other people's bad decisions destroy your aunt's life? 56 and unemployed with $10/hour jobs as your only option is an express ticket to elderly poverty. A year of severance pay is going to vaporize pretty quickly.
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Old 01-24-2018, 05:14 AM
 
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I'm also 56, home is paid off, and several months ago lost my 18-year, but low paying, job and have been unable to find work. I only have "old fashioned" office skills and no working knowledge of Excel. Other side of the coin is I'm thinking of relocating to LV in the fall because I'm tired of dealing with the harsh Ohio winters. Have started to look online for inexpensive yet safe housing....
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Old 01-24-2018, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiaLia View Post
Not sure what you're saying. Does she feel she's in a problematic situation? Or is that what you're seeing and you're worried? Please explain a little more.
She has Crohn's and other health issues. She can't access her savings without penalty yet. COBRA will eat her alive.

Obviously having no or minimal income at 56, with a dependent elderly mother and basically having to act as a mom to a 5 year old, is not an ideal situation.
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Old 01-24-2018, 06:45 AM
 
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I would stay put and take the lower paying job. You can't just leave dependent family members -- giving that advice is not helpful.

I would try to find out EVERY bit of legal and financial assistance I could get -- including claiming both the grandmother and step grandchild as dependents. I would apply for all legal financial assistance through the federal state and local government. I would sell a large paid for home, invest the money and move to something more economical. I would hang on until at least 62 years of age and take early social security -- or stay at the low paying job if it has benefits until full retirement age.

In addition to the severance she should qualify for unemployment insurance if she is actually laid off. I would also advise meeting with a financial consultant experienced in elder care issues to assist me with the plan.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,769 posts, read 4,827,803 times
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You say she is caring for her elderly mom. Is mom living separately, or with your aunt? Could they live together and combine mom's SS income with her money to live more cheaply, at least while mom is still in the picture? If they combined living quarters, one home could be sold. If they could do that, and she worked at a lesser paying job she could bank/invest her severance and improve her situation long term. The five year old's situation is not so easy. To take on primary care of someone else's child at age 56, while still trying to keep the parents in the picture, sounds like a recipe for retirement disaster.

There are a lot of unknown variables in this equation. So it's hard to make really good recommendations.

Last edited by TheShadow; 01-24-2018 at 07:12 AM..
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
It's somebody else's turn with your grandmother and the step-grandchild. If your aunt has to move to find work, that's how it goes. Why should other people's bad decisions destroy your aunt's life? 56 and unemployed with $10/hour jobs as your only option is an express ticket to elderly poverty. A year of severance pay is going to vaporize pretty quickly.
The whole situation is a mess.

Aunt's stepson is basically out of the little boy's life. He's cheated on his wife with numerous women. Aunt sold stepson the family home at a below market price after Mike died in 2010. Stepson's wife won't divorce him to get child support (stepson is a jailer - wife works in a call center), and has been bouncing between my aunt's and her mom's. She doesn't get along with her mom, and has been staying with my aunt primarily for close to a year. On top of that, the stepson tried to join the Tennessee Highway Patrol, but washed out of the program, was out of work for awhile, and aunt says he's had financial problems. One of his trucks was repossessed, so stepson/wife probably both have significant credit problems now.

The kid is basically staying with my aunt now.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
You say she is caring for her elderly mom. Is mom living separately, or with your aunt? Could they live together and combine mom's SS income with her money to live more cheaply, at least while mom is still in the picture? If they combined living quarters, one home could be sold. If they could do that, and she worked at a lesser paying job she could bank/invest her severance and improve her situation long term. The five year old's situation is not so easy. To take on primary care of someone else's child at age 56, while still trying to keep the parents in the picture, sounds like a recipe for retirement disaster.
I think this is how it will end up. I don't see many other options.

Grandmother is still living alone in the home she's lived in for fifty years, but really cannot do so fully. She's had worsening mobility issues for the past year or two, barely drives, and is going through a full knee replacement in February. Aunt kicked the daughter-in-law out to make room for grandma, but is trying to keep the little boy in a stable situation. Grandmother will be going to HealthSouth for a period of time. If she cannot at least get to the restroom and such afterward, she'll have to go to a nursing home. Aunt is not capable of picking her up. I had been mowing, cleaning, and all that for grandmother last year, but I live in Johnson City now. I stop by once or twice a week during the week to check on her and bring groceries, get the trash, and do small stuff around the house.

If grandmother can't live in the house independently and if aunt is willing to take her in full time, grandmother's house needs to be sold. Aunt has a townhome that is much better for a mobility-limited senior than grandmother's tri-level.

Aunt seems to want to wait around on the year's severance, then start looking for work. That puts her on a more aggressive timetable of having to find something. It's also easier to find a job when you're currently employed. She's had a couple of call backs from Knoxville. I'm hoping those come through with something. I'd feel much more comfortable with them both in Knoxville than grandma living in a house with stairs in rural Sullivan County and aunt out of work here for who knows how long.

I don't think aunt keeping the little boy is permanent. Stepson/DIL need to either get back together or divorce. DIL is 30 and has never so much as lived on her own before. She needs to get it together and provide a life for her son.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:37 AM
 
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I assume the family home isn't Aunt's residence. Her own home is paid for?

Aunt needs to have enough income to qualify for ACA subsidies. Blue cross has a really sweet deal this year where people in the low end of the income spectrum can get a $250 deductible plan for free. See if that applies to tri cities.

$10/hr with a paid for home is not a pauper's life. Does DHS pay for the grandson's care? That's a few hundred. Does mom live in the house? She can contribute from SS.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
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Originally Posted by creeksitter View Post
I assume the family home isn't Aunt's residence. Her own home is paid for?

Aunt needs to have enough income to qualify for ACA subsidies. Blue cross has a really sweet deal this year where people in the low end of the income spectrum can get a $250 deductible plan for free. See if that applies to tri cities.

$10/hr with a paid for home is not a pauper's life. Does DHS pay for the grandson's care? That's a few hundred. Does mom live in the house? She can contribute from SS.
Aunt has a townhome. Grandma has a tri-level. Aunt/husband previously had a home that she sold to her stepson after her husband's death. Grandfather died in 9/2009 and aunt's husband died in 4/2010.

Aunt is still employed, but realistically will probably be out of work by April. What makes me scratch my head is that she really hasn't been pounding the pavement. She is supposed to get the severance, but I'd hate to be depending on that. I know she has a lot on her plate, but this has been known for around a year. She really needs to find a way to bridge the next couple of years at minimum.

No idea who pays for the grandson day-to-day, but probably aunt. DIL wouldn't even make dinner when she lived there or contribute on groceries.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:47 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,049,308 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Pertaining to your thread title of 'Too old to be hired' (at age 56), it really depends on the person's presentation of self, education level, experience, background, marketable skills, and the cities in which one applies for jobs.

I was hired at age 57 or 58 in one of the largest east coast cities, and I moved 1100 miles.

After a while at that job, I was hired at age 60 in another similar job in the same east coast city.

So it depends - and sometimes on willingness to move to a different city.

I mention this in case someone who is 56 and older thinks it is not possible to be hired because of age or is discouraged.

All of the above maybe doesn't apply to your aunt - who firstly doesn't want to move, who has caretaking aspects, and finds the changes and job hunting too difficult.
I agree.

My sister is 70 and has no problem finding a job. And yes, she likes to work. Doesn't have to work. Enjoys being out and about instead of sitting at home.

She worked at her first place of employment for 40 years.
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