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Old 01-24-2018, 07:50 AM
 
6,306 posts, read 5,049,308 times
Reputation: 12810

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
She has Crohn's and other health issues. She can't access her savings without penalty yet. COBRA will eat her alive.

Obviously having no or minimal income at 56, with a dependent elderly mother and basically having to act as a mom to a 5 year old, is not an ideal situation.
Tell her to try to get a job with a local, state or federal government entity. Housing office or city office - they won't discriminate if she has the skills they need.

Or they shouldn't discriminate

She is never going to move, so forget that.

Looks like she uses her situation in order to not have to make a move out on her own. Well - that is just my take on the scenario.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
2,871 posts, read 1,401,499 times
Reputation: 10071
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
OP seems to have a multitude of older relatives about whom IMO he knows way too much about their finances.
I disagree. that's the problem with older relatives, you don't know their situation until crap hits the fan.
I have an older Aunt (my mom's sister) who has many issues. How do you properly help someone if they don't tell you the scenario.

Personally I think one of the issue we have is that we DON'T talk about money, finances etc.
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Old 01-24-2018, 07:54 AM
 
5,682 posts, read 8,754,172 times
Reputation: 4911
The best thing you can do is spend time on healthcare.gov to determine the income range for subsidies. A lot will depend on household size so you can determine whether the DIL and grandson should be officially living there.

By herself, 4 months of a good job + severance should be high enough to get subsidies. will a $10/ hr job will put her over 47K for an individual?
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Old 01-24-2018, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
2,871 posts, read 1,401,499 times
Reputation: 10071
Ok I think no matter what your age is, if you leave a job you've been at for 25 years it's unlikely that you will make the same salary at the new job.

1) first, do a complete budget makeover. make sure she knows where every dime goes and what she can cut back on.
2) personally I don't encourage moving in a state of "Panic". does she have a support system? one of the big things if you are in a sandwich generation is "support". you move to a unknown place and now on top of every thing else you've got to make friends? too stressful.
3) every thing is paid off, that's a good thing. you don't know if that can remain the same some place else.
4) I would take the 10/hour job. I'm from the school of "a bird in the hand is better than ...." you know the rest. besides it doesn't mean she's locked into it. she can take the 10 hour job while still researching some thing else.
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Old 01-24-2018, 08:04 AM
 
1,706 posts, read 1,223,631 times
Reputation: 4829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
She wants to just sit here and wait on the severance - I think she should look for a good job, and if one presents itself, take it rather than idling around here.

You're too young to retire and not quite financially independent for that length of time. You're too old and too expensive to be hired locally in this lousy local market. You've never lived outside of Appalachia and have no idea what mainstream USA is.

What do you do? Stay here and take something for $10/hr? Relocate the elderly woman with you wherever you get a job? Bury your head in the sand and pray to the Lord?
I am sensing a bit of defeatism. You said she won't relocate, so if she is going to stay in her area she needs to get focused and do what she needs to do.

Your aunt is in a different job market than I am, but she has solid skills; this is what I would do in a similar situation. She might not make what she does now, but making something is better than making nothing. I would rather make $15/hour than zero zip zilch/hour.

I would apply to both full time and part-time jobs. Accounts payable/receivable and bookkeepers are always in demand such that she may even be able to take on work as an independent contractor and work from home.

I would also apply to employment agencies that specialize in temporary assignments. In my experience, there are often numerous ongoing openings for a wide range of accounting/bookkeeping temp positions. Many temp jobs are a gateway to a full-time long term hire.

About the caretaking- she doesn't need to do it all herself. Options include adult daycare, in-home assistance, and/or a visiting aide coming in for a few hours a day.

Last but not least, I would have a come-to-Jesus meeting with the son and tell him to get his sh*t together and fast. He needs to step up and act like an adult or he is out. Period.

Once she gets a job, whether temporary or permanent, she can take the severance and invest it to build a nice little nest egg for herself.

JMHO.

Last edited by twelvepaw; 01-24-2018 at 08:36 AM..
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Old 01-24-2018, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27630
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
Tell her to try to get a job with a local, state or federal government entity. Housing office or city office - they won't discriminate if she has the skills they need.

Or they shouldn't discriminate

She is never going to move, so forget that.

Looks like she uses her situation in order to not have to make a move out on her own. Well - that is just my take on the scenario.
The unemployment rate here is low, and the area is awash in all the $10-$12/hr jobs you want. She won't have a problem finding something that pays in that range, but professional work here has always been in short supply. Until my current job, I never made more than $15/hr around here. If I lost my job, I'd be in the same pickle she's in - unable to make anything close to my current salary locally and facing a choice of having to move or accept a radically reduced standard of living.

I don't know what she makes, but her benefits are EXCELLENT. She has five weeks of PTO, a dollar-for-dollar match on her 401k up to 9% of salary (!!!).

She has a friend who works in the county court system who told her about an open position and she applied. This was pretty recent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by creeksitter View Post
The best thing you can do is spend time on healthcare.gov to determine the income range for subsidies. A lot will depend on household size so you can determine whether the DIL and grandson should be officially living there.

By herself, 4 months of a good job + severance should be high enough to get subsidies. will a $10/ hr job will put her over 47K for an individual?
She would probably end up on the exchanges after COBRA. The exchange may be preferable anyway. Not sure I understand the last point? With the severance, her income shouldn't drop this year. She won't get subsidies at her current level of pay. A $10/hr job just throws more pay on top of that.

If you're thinking of four months of a good job + $10/hr job being low enough for subsidies, probably not. I received only a minimal subsidy back in 2013 when I was making $12/hr and had a plan on the exchange.
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Old 01-24-2018, 08:27 AM
 
6,239 posts, read 4,721,373 times
Reputation: 12778
I cannot keep track of all the details, but it sounds like your aunt can barely take care of herself and has very limited resources. I am not sure whether to consider her generous or foolish. It appears she was taking care of a daughter in law. Now she is trying to take care of someone's grandmother and an even more distant child from a worthless step son and a worthless incapable daughter in law. The whole family seems to need professional help.


I do wonder about the long term results of Aunt's help. Is she just further enabling poor behavior? Would grandma be better off in a long term care facility? Would the step grandson be better off in foster care and out of the situation? Maybe there is also a lesson here for you and your life.
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Old 01-24-2018, 09:03 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27630
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrkliny View Post
I cannot keep track of all the details, but it sounds like your aunt can barely take care of herself and has very limited resources. I am not sure whether to consider her generous or foolish. It appears she was taking care of a daughter in law. Now she is trying to take care of someone's grandmother and an even more distant child from a worthless step son and a worthless incapable daughter in law. The whole family seems to need professional help.

I do wonder about the long term results of Aunt's help. Is she just further enabling poor behavior? Would grandma be better off in a long term care facility? Would the step grandson be better off in foster care and out of the situation? Maybe there is also a lesson here for you and your life.
I busted out laughing at my desk from the description. Aunt has her own health issues to deal with. She was housing her daughter-in-law and her little boy. She's taking care of her mother/my grandmother as well.

Her stepson and daughter-in-law are completely worthless. She really need to cut them loose, but she won't let the little boy get into a worse situation. They're essentially leeches.
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Old 01-24-2018, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27630
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
Ok I think no matter what your age is, if you leave a job you've been at for 25 years it's unlikely that you will make the same salary at the new job.

1) first, do a complete budget makeover. make sure she knows where every dime goes and what she can cut back on.
2) personally I don't encourage moving in a state of "Panic". does she have a support system? one of the big things if you are in a sandwich generation is "support". you move to a unknown place and now on top of every thing else you've got to make friends? too stressful.
3) every thing is paid off, that's a good thing. you don't know if that can remain the same some place else.
4) I would take the 10/hour job. I'm from the school of "a bird in the hand is better than ...." you know the rest. besides it doesn't mean she's locked into it. she can take the 10 hour job while still researching some thing else.
I probably didn't make this clear enough.

If she leaves before the job is eliminated, she loses the severance. It makes no sense to leave the full-time, well-paying job now, for only a $10/hr job. If she finds another good job, it would make sense to leave.

If she holds out until she gets canned, she gets the severance, and could take the $10/hr job the day after her last day at the cable company.

She talks to her late husband's children and some of his family, but I don't think they are close. Her stepson is 29 and the next daughter is 35-36. That daughter got married at 17-18 and was no longer at home when aunt married Mike. He had two other daughters who are now in their early 40s. Outside of that, she really doesn't have much of a support system outside of immediate family and coworkers, but most of us are in that boat.

I'm not at all saying she needs to throw everything overboard and take a $10/hr job, but she should at least be looking for professional employment. If she is, she seems extremely casual about it. Maybe her situation isn't as shaky as it seems.
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Old 01-24-2018, 09:38 AM
 
199 posts, read 112,213 times
Reputation: 640
She should have financially planned to be completely retired in her 50s. It's hard to get a decent job at that age.
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