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Old 02-04-2018, 02:19 PM
 
13,352 posts, read 25,625,436 times
Reputation: 20637

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondebaerde View Post
I'd sooner be dipped in red sauce and dropped in a bull pen than have a "partner" or use the word "we" in my retirement, since the vast majority of women I've dealt with are ghouls and vampires who decide that "I must pay" for everything since I clearly have a few bucks. I cannot for the life of me comprehend living full-time with someone with whom I must "compromise" on everything. Pass.
Heh. I have long said, "When it comes to men, I just wanna break even." Haven't gotten into the fray in a long time, but my major bad memory cost me. I don't wanna be an (ex-) "nurse with a purse."

Sounds like the above poster has fallen for some women with no character. No shortage there,eh? They must have offered something else worth the risk. What fools we mortals be.
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Old 02-04-2018, 11:20 PM
 
28,292 posts, read 39,985,779 times
Reputation: 36812
I can't imaging having gone through life without my wife. Inconceivable.
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Old 02-04-2018, 11:33 PM
 
5,433 posts, read 3,470,096 times
Reputation: 13714
It's often inconceivable and unfathomable to think of not being with one's significant other, but then when that person is removed due to death or divorce, one learns a new way of living and thinking.

And if one had never met the significant other - which also seems unfathomable - one would have lived a different life, and possibly a very good, but different one.
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Old 02-05-2018, 12:38 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,704 posts, read 40,103,214 times
Reputation: 23865
Do Most People Envision What Retired Life Will Look Like?

I tend to not 'envision', what tomorrow will look like (I may not be able to handle that if I knew)

Grateful for today, and all of my yesterdays.

Your Choices / Opportunities will vary (thank goodness)
I hope to never have to sit in front of a TV again (last time I did that was in 1968)
Games,
Cards,
Tennis
Golf
Social events...

I Hope those are all 50 yrs behind me (High School... my LEAST favorite and productive era).

This week;
  • spent 2 days with public retirees (San Diego) they were very active in volunteer and mentoring events
  • 2 days in a Del Webb (Tucson) (all the activities as per above). Friends were active in and OUT of the community (Had been in DW for 13 yrs, and felt they arrived too 'young', but now are just right!
  • 1 day (+ tomorrow) with retiree friends I helped move to rural SE AZ (7 yrs ago). They are active in community and also have a variety of PT 'FUN" jobs / activities (commercial AG/ conservation to State Parks / Gardening / Game reserves / mentoring youth / special needs shelters)
  • 2 days in NM (Retirees in a small city / NMSU / and LOTS of military and national lab retirees) Really active retiree community... world wide travelers (many), great music groups (for retirees and community) helping with spring yard work, and setting up eldercare (In-home) for an 87 YO (on their own).

Quite honestly... (we have done 'rural elder volunteering' for over 30 yrs) I have not met any (young) retirees 'wasting away', tho it has been tough to watch several (ex-farmers) get too weak to be busy outside / helping others. They did well until they were sequestered in a care home, then ~1/2 failed quickly. the others (still well enough to engage) made friends and the best of the situation.

me: 'Retired' for over 10 yrs, & still more than a few yrs shy of FRA / Medicare / SS.
Bored / hopeless / helpless / un-purposed / ? Not yet, nor do I expect THAT to arrive in the next 40 yrs.

I had NO expectations ('visions') of retirement, I am excited at what tomorrow, might bring... 1yr, 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs, 40 yrs ?

I THRIVE on the 'mystery'

Disclaimer:... I had a GREAT job (30+ YRS night shift!!), and NEVER punched a time clock or showed up for work @ the same time, or did the same thing 2 days in a row.

Retirement is truly a GIFT! (2 of my ex-coworkers died AT WORK last month, they will not get that Gift! as well as seeing my dad disabled at age 49...Thus... I never counted on experiencing this GIFT myself)

Last edited by StealthRabbit; 02-05-2018 at 12:55 AM..
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Old 02-05-2018, 07:33 AM
 
Location: Loudon, TN
5,833 posts, read 4,874,513 times
Reputation: 19626
I live in a community with many planned activities. The activities themselves are one thing, but more importantly they are a way to meet new people and make friends to do more things with. Sometimes you meet someone at a wine tasting event, say, and you find out that they enjoy jazz music and you do too. So then you plan to get together with, or without, the spouses and go check out a jazz concert, or to get together and jam. And there you meet someone who likes to take day hikes, and you do too, so you get together next weekend and go for a hike. And so on, and so on. If you are an outgoing person, these planned activities are just a springboard to much more unplanned, spontaneous fun. I think for most older adults, finding new friends, or friends who are more active and interesting, is awkward, but planned activities make it so much easier. Then you run into people you know from one activity at another event, so you have someone you can sit with or talk to and it's really a lot of fun.

We have one friend here, a former neighbor, whose main interests are the computer or watching old TV shows. We get him out as much as we can because his doctor wants him to be more active to help his diabetes. He likes old cars, so my DH takes him to the vintage car club meetings, and the four of us get together for car club activities. His wife is more active, but I think she's given up on him. His inactivity has caused him to gain a lot of weight, and that in turn has wrecked his knees, so he just doesn't want to do any activity that requires even a couple hours on his feet. I have plenty of sedentary hobbies, but I don't want to end up sitting in a chair all day like he does. Use it or lose it, as they say. But if that is what you enjoy and you're okay with it, no one else's business I suppose.
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Old 02-05-2018, 07:38 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,245,328 times
Reputation: 17208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap View Post
Obviously, I am in a much better position to know our parents' situation than you.
That's debatable since you said you didn't "think" they planned on anything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap View Post
Yes, I agree. But both sets of our parents and others we have known didn't think about retirement before they retired, didn't have any sort of plan and ended up 'wasting' away mentally and physically earlier than they should have.
That's just your opinion. You're not the first to have it or the last.

You state they didn't PLAN, then later you said "I don't think it was in our parent's case". That their plan was to do nothing. Post number 7

Quote:
Originally Posted by oldgardener View Post
Maybe wasting away was their plan. Being active or not being active is a personal preference.
Quote:
I don't think that was our parents' case.

This indicates to me you weren't very close and just because you don't approve of them becoming social butterflies AFTER retirement doesn't make them WRONG in any way.

Anyway, you've given zero details about the people so there are definitely factors not in evidence. We know NOTHING about them except that they're a couple of straw men put up for us to knock down.

IE They never were PLANNERS or social butterflies all their lives anyway. Maybe they ate crap all their lives like most of the country and had physical issues that prevented them from having energy and stamina. Maybe they had no activities all their lives that you'd approve of anyway, and WANTED to enjoy their homes after a life time of being OUT of them working or not taking vacations or whatever.

Most likely they lived their retirement years EXACTLY how they lived their pre-retirement years in terms of your opinions of being "active".

Who knows.

So you're saying they were vibrant pictures of activity and health pre-retirement and after retirement it because all downhill because of television?

What is your age?

Everyone thinks they know what the preceding generation did wrong. Especially when it comes to family dynamics.

But this thread is making me laugh.

You said yourself you are NOT ACTIVE NOW but plan to be when you retire.

'mmmkay.

ETA: Protip: You can't/don't suddenly become healthy and active AFTER retirement in most cases. What's YOUR lipid panel, BP and glucose?

Last edited by runswithscissors; 02-05-2018 at 07:57 AM..
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Old 02-05-2018, 07:48 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,245,328 times
Reputation: 17208
Quote:
Originally Posted by finalmove View Post
You're going to do exactly what you did before retirement. If you play cards and tennis, then you'll play cards and tennis after retiring. I always watched a lot of TV and still do. I have more than enough to fill my day with projects, hobbies and volunteering.
Just bought another boat, and have some electronics to install.

The retirees that are doomed to death soon after retiring are the ones without hobbies or skills.
All they had were the social and productivity aspects of employment.
Leaving that without a hobby or outside relationships is a mistake many make. This is common knowledge yet they do it anyway.

I have friends that moved into "planned old-people developments". I don't want or need a forced activity scene where neighbors ride bikes and have sushi parties together. I'd rather be among a regular cross section of people.
Have to run. Have some staining to do.
Seriously?

These threads always deteriorate to bashing strangers' lifestyles ad infinitum. Actually no, more like reductio ad absurdum

Nobody is forcing anyone to ride bikes or eat sushi.

And ICYMI, most 55+ HOAs have very active card and tennis players and it would be really difficult to FORCE people to play them, too.

It's hilarious irony to me that as a self professed TV watcher, who wants to stay in the their house with busy work "projects", that you'd find a way to criticize active people living their lives riding bikes and socializing.

Also it appears they are not your "friends". Why so mad they moved to a 55+? Nobody is forcing them to stay behind gates or not allowing you in there to "socialize" with them, right?

Human nature. Gotta love it.
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Old 02-05-2018, 08:04 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,245,328 times
Reputation: 17208
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
I live in a community with many planned activities. The activities themselves are one thing, but more importantly they are a way to meet new people and make friends to do more things with. Sometimes you meet someone at a wine tasting event, say, and you find out that they enjoy jazz music and you do too. So then you plan to get together with, or without, the spouses and go check out a jazz concert, or to get together and jam. And there you meet someone who likes to take day hikes, and you do too, so you get together next weekend and go for a hike. And so on, and so on. If you are an outgoing person, these planned activities are just a springboard to much more unplanned, spontaneous fun. I think for most older adults, finding new friends, or friends who are more active and interesting, is awkward, but planned activities make it so much easier. Then you run into people you know from one activity at another event, so you have someone you can sit with or talk to and it's really a lot of fun.

We have one friend here, a former neighbor, whose main interests are the computer or watching old TV shows. We get him out as much as we can because his doctor wants him to be more active to help his diabetes. He likes old cars, so my DH takes him to the vintage car club meetings, and the four of us get together for car club activities. His wife is more active, but I think she's given up on him. His inactivity has caused him to gain a lot of weight, and that in turn has wrecked his knees, so he just doesn't want to do any activity that requires even a couple hours on his feet. I have plenty of sedentary hobbies, but I don't want to end up sitting in a chair all day like he does. Use it or lose it, as they say. But if that is what you enjoy and you're okay with it, no one else's business I suppose.
Poor guy. In denial about being able to improve his health. I know people like that. STUBBORN. My BFF's husband refuses to wear his CPAP and his health is 1000% better when he does. So he cat naps all day and eats crap when he wakes up. He lost 25 lbs during the hurricane because he was out of the house for 3 weeks LOL.

I would HATE to be a doctor, dealing with all willfully ignorant stubborn people.

Make them watch Simply Raw, a documentary about diabetes reversal and even drastically lowering insulin needs of Type One people. It was a filmed project covering about 7 random types of diabetic people with other health problems for 30 days.

Dr. Gabriel Cousens program - at his health clinic - has the people nearly off 100% of meds and insulin in DAYS not months simply by eating the correct SIMPLE foods (vegetables primarily) and doing some little walking. AND tremendous weight loss.

Also Dr. Fuhrman Eat To Live will accomplish the same thing.

But people MUST be willing to replace crap food with REAL food, greens and vegetables as their MAIN MEALS and refuse to do so.

SPOILER ALERT:

There's ONE guy in the documentary who was like that. DRASTICALLY improved his health in a couple weeks but chose to go HOME early for unspecified reasons. He missed his old food.

The rest of the people had tremendous success. Within a month, the YOUNG Type 1 guy had his insulin reduced from something like 70 units to 6. He had a brief period of rebellion because he still wanted to drink, but finally got with the program.

Heck, I decreased my blood glucose from 90 to 78 simply by making a couple simple dietary changes , ONE which included stopping using Splenda because it spikes. And I only checked it out out of curiosity not because I had any health problems. And it happened OVERNIGHT within three days of me revamping my foods.

And before anyone challenges the wording of "reversing diabetes" yes, REVERSAL means you can live your life with the pancreas you have without medication.

The film:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pjkC71exKU

Last edited by runswithscissors; 02-05-2018 at 08:31 AM..
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Old 02-05-2018, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Texas or Cascais, Portugal
3,437 posts, read 3,198,138 times
Reputation: 8310
I have been planning my retirement for years. I donít want to fall into the trap of thinking I will stay busy without any thought of how. Although still a good 3 years away, I am starting new hobbies now (learning to play the violin, just bought a new mountain bike) as well as planning affordable destinations to rent abroad for extended periods to explore. A lot of people prefer to just take it as it comes but I know how fast time flies. I figure with god luck I may have 20 years of reasonably good health before the *#@+ hits the fan and Iím not able to be active. I donít intend to let those years pass me by without experiencing and learning as much as I can. But, I have always been pretty active. For folks who are satisfied chilling out, maybe they donít need to plan.
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Old 02-05-2018, 08:26 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,245,328 times
Reputation: 17208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian_M View Post
I know my folks had Grand Plans... that were mostly unrealized. They were going to buy a smaller RV (the big van based units) and drive to Alaska and around the US. Never happened. They were going to play golf at the course in town (part of the reason for buying where they did).... never happened. They were going to SKI (15 miles from a hill)... they did for a couple years and then never again. They were going to buy a boat and go fishing at the many lakes in the area... nope, not that either.

What do they do? Sit on their butts and watch TV.


Now, I get it, I'm a bag of lazy bones and they raised me in this manor. I'm perfectly happy hanging out in my home and doing nothing at all for days on end... so maybe they are too. But I also follow through on plans.

Personally, I sorta fell into retirement by virtue of not being able to find a job for years on end. It's been 9 now since my last job, my wife makes more than enough to live on AND be on track for her to retire fully at 55. I do what we've termed as "piddling". It's just a little of this, and a little of that.... if it catches my attention and can be done for a couple hundred or less, why not try it? Sewing, wood working, stained glass, kayaking (that was a bigger buy-in at about $1000 total for both of us)... I'd love to take up golf again, but I dread being outdoors in the summer in Georgia. I've no doubt that my "retirement" will be just fine for the rest of my life...
Nothing is preventing you from golfing from October to May or even from September to June.

Our FL golf courses are packed then.

See how that works?
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