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Old 02-12-2018, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,697 posts, read 1,875,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I just have goals that I have to get to and am determined to get there. I've had to do it since I was 15 so I kind buried my own emotions and just kept on, the next payment, the next bill.

I think yesterday I was just disappointed in something I did - trying to cut out carbs and actually ate a baked potato with olive oil Saturday night and I did regret it. I did not sleep well and it had been 26 days with no carbs. So now, I have learned my lesson.

We were on track to be in a better position than we are but were derailed. Now, I'm starting to get back there but it will take at least 5 years with much strictness.

Also, losing weight is helping a bit. Just want to be super healthy, get back in shape (used to be pre 2006) and stay healthy.
I've been eating low carb for over a year. I've done this - had something NOT KETO. Just get back on the wagon and go forward.

No carbs at ALL? I have about 20-25 per day.
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Old 02-12-2018, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,907 posts, read 14,406,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
Hi Bette,

I understand entirely. I have a similar situation and want to have a more active social life. To that end, I carved some time out from the store and went to a book club meeting. I don't know if I will continue with the book club as I didn't like this month's selection and the one person whom I thought I might befriend is a very busy person with no real time for friendships.

When I close the store I am planning on moving into a 55+ community with a lot of social clubs. It won't be easy for me to join, as I am a loner and shy. But, I think it is necessary for me to expand my horizons and I don't want to be bored either.

Sending best wishes that you find your path.
I want to encourage you to keep going to the book club. The idea is that you WILL encounter books you would not necessarily pick for yourself. If you keep attending, and making good comments, eventually you will be comfortable and will find someone with whom you click. Going to Book Clib will also allow you to meet people you would not otherwise meet.
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:42 AM
 
Location: equator
3,458 posts, read 1,540,765 times
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Finding a "community" is really great for one's social life. I love that about our condo and the expats here. I interact with a lot of people every day, which I sure wouldn't if we'd stayed on our 5 acres after retirement. Pool time, happy hour at the gazebo, Trivia and karaoke nights in our nearest town. I think having an active social life is even more important after retirement.


OP, self-employment is a drain, though highly rewarding, isn't it? I had NO social life at all when we had our printing company and worked hours like you do.


You my find a whole "new you" in this next phase! Don't listen to your siblings; they don't sound too kind or thoughtful.
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:54 AM
 
13,322 posts, read 25,578,684 times
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Of course one can blossom and find oneself in retirement!
But also, you can make small changes and note at some point that you have slowly become more the person you truly are. It might not be a big dramatic change. You might set yourself up for disappointment if you expect a brand new you right away. Work chips (or hacks) away at one on many levels and it's not quick to reset the system and start in another direction.

I do think just believing that retirement is a big change/improvement and doing some things to that end is quite enough to ensure a flowering. I got a tattoo two days after I retired that says, "May all your graces flower." (Chris Cornell, "Sunshower"). I believe this. I know OP will find their way. Best wishes.

Oh, and the toxic people in the environment, a mental or actual the hell with you goes a long way.
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:57 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,455,723 times
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On the other hand, there is the axiom of 'wherever you go, there you are'.

For example, people who move around thinking maybe the geographic or city change will also make a difference in their personality. behavior, or choices. But they find that wherever they go, their personality and sometimes behavior goes with them.

Another belief which one can choose to believe or not is that 'as one grows old, one becomes more and more themselves.'

It's never too late for change though. And a person can always be evolving if one chooses to.

Last edited by matisse12; 02-13-2018 at 03:07 PM..
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:26 PM
 
1,227 posts, read 1,261,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
On the other hand, there is the axiom of 'wherever you go, there you are'.

For example, people who move around thinking maybe the geographic or city change will also make a difference in their personality. behavior, or choices. But they find that wherever they go, their personality and sometimes behavior goes with them.

Another belief which one can choose to believe or not is that 'as one grows old, one becomes more and more themselves.'

It's never too late for change though. And a person can always be evolving if one chooses to.
Regarding the above, sometimes where you are living does impact your lifestyle and choices. For instance, when I lived in Florida, I had a lot of friends. My friends and I used to do a lot of different things on the weekends together. My neighbors and I would walk our dogs together during the weeknights and chat. Sometimes after the walk we would bring our dogs home and then go out to dinner together.

People would come into my store just to chat. Repeat customers developed into friendships. I would go to the same restaurant every day for lunch and I became friends with the waitress there. We used to get together on the weekends or we would chat on the phone. I found that small businesses made an effort to know and recognize their customers and be friendly.

When I moved to TX I had a difficult time making friends. The neighbors were nice enough but no one was interested in walking their dog with me, or being friends. I can be a repeat customer for years at places here and no one at the store will ever recognize me. I haven't really managed to make any friendships, although I have acquaintances, and there really isn't a lot to do that holds my interest. So, I tend to work more hours than I need to just to stave off boredom.

It isn't that I haven't tried joining organizations and doing things to put myself in the path of potential friendships... it is more that the people here just aren't all that interested. It's a different way of life.
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:31 PM
 
5,429 posts, read 3,455,723 times
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I agree that geographic location and what town/city one lives in can make a vast difference in one's life.

But for some people, it does not make a big difference because they maintain similar behaviors and their personality remains somewhat the same wherever they live.

Strongly agree, though, that geographic location and city/town can be an enormous factor, along with how people and populations differ in various locales.
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Location: Happy Place
3,697 posts, read 1,875,095 times
Reputation: 11339
Quote:
Originally Posted by LookingatFL View Post
Regarding the above, sometimes where you are living does impact your lifestyle and choices. For instance, when I lived in Florida, I had a lot of friends. My friends and I used to do a lot of different things on the weekends together. My neighbors and I would walk our dogs together during the weeknights and chat. Sometimes after the walk we would bring our dogs home and then go out to dinner together.

People would come into my store just to chat. Repeat customers developed into friendships. I would go to the same restaurant every day for lunch and I became friends with the waitress there. We used to get together on the weekends or we would chat on the phone. I found that small businesses made an effort to know and recognize their customers and be friendly.

When I moved to TX I had a difficult time making friends. The neighbors were nice enough but no one was interested in walking their dog with me, or being friends. I can be a repeat customer for years at places here and no one at the store will ever recognize me. I haven't really managed to make any friendships, although I have acquaintances, and there really isn't a lot to do that holds my interest. So, I tend to work more hours than I need to just to stave off boredom.

It isn't that I haven't tried joining organizations and doing things to put myself in the path of potential friendships... it is more that the people here just aren't all that interested. It's a different way of life.
Well if you are in Fort Worth we can meet for a coffee!
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Old 02-13-2018, 05:56 PM
 
1,227 posts, read 1,261,539 times
Reputation: 4310
Thank you mschrief. We are about 200 miles away from each other.... otherwise I would love to.
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Old 02-15-2018, 11:43 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,907 posts, read 14,406,502 times
Reputation: 30827
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
On the other hand, there is the axiom of 'wherever you go, there you are'.

For example, people who move around thinking maybe the geographic or city change will also make a difference in their personality. behavior, or choices. But they find that wherever they go, their personality and sometimes behavior goes with them.

Another belief which one can choose to believe or not is that 'as one grows old, one becomes more and more themselves.'

It's never too late for change though. And a person can always be evolving if one chooses to.
This is quite true. I often think this when I read posts from people who want to move for a fresh start.

But, our move has helped me change! And retirement allows me to read widely on the net. And my cooking has improved, as well.
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