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Old 02-15-2018, 06:38 AM
 
13,879 posts, read 7,391,112 times
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I discuss finances with a couple of close friends who go back many decades and are in similar financial circumstances. I never talk money with anyone else beyond a vague "to make my retirement math work, I need to work until I'm Medicare-eligible or I take a big lifestyle hit". Most people are going to be really strapped when they retire. I don't want to cause any resentment.
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Old 02-15-2018, 06:41 AM
 
4,194 posts, read 2,487,763 times
Reputation: 1935
If I were to retire right now, I would have a little over 4000 a month to live on.. SSA in 12 years, if still there. But, some people need to feel like they have enough, or what they can do to better themselves.
No one talks about finances, its taboo apparently in reality.
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:06 AM
 
Location: NC
6,549 posts, read 7,966,327 times
Reputation: 13455
He probably has no one to talk to and needs some financial guidance. Just give him general answers such as "Some people" do this, some do that, "I know of one guy who....". He is just looking for options and you look like a smart, friendly lady. He probably is not trying to get up in your personal business.
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:26 AM
 
25,973 posts, read 32,978,177 times
Reputation: 32158
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Another retired friend and I were recently discussing how retired people, even total strangers, have zero qualms about asking questions about your finances in retirement. We have both experienced this.

It happened to me again today with a tenant in my building (a low-income senior apartment building) I had never met before. We started chatting about my dog, then after blabbing a bit, he asked if I had a one-bedroom, then wondered how I could afford it, and did I have a pension and I looked too young to be on SSA retirement, so how did I afford it without being old enough to be on SSA retirement.

Really dang nosy! But, this is not uncommon from my experience. It really was not about him hitting on me. This happens equally with women and men. And my friend does have a pension and money and owns her own place - but she said she encounters this type of nosiness, too on a regular basis.

I can understand to some degree that others who are retired are curious how other retired people afford things, etc., but it is just so weird to me how the norms of not being overly nosy and asking personal questions of strangers, are thrown out the window regarding how other seniors afford their lives, and what their sources of income are, etc.

Have you also encountered this? And how do you handle it? I need to figure out some kind of standard answers. I swear this guy today absolutely grilled me! It was disturbing. He was more over the top than the normal encounters I've had, but it's still unnerving to have strangers asking me about my money! And I feel quite sure they were trained not to do so, and never would have done so prior to being retired.

So, why is someone's retirement finances info okay to butt into, when they never would have asked someone's financial info prior to becoming retired?

And how do you deal with these people?
Wouldn't bother me at all. I think it would be pretty normal to wonder about someone that does not work and looks too young to be retired, (I am assuming that was the case here.) I'd probably have asked how you did it, too. No biggie.
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:32 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
10,281 posts, read 4,859,674 times
Reputation: 21666
You look at these people with a perplexed look on your face and say "Now why in the world would you ask such a personal question?"
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Vermont
1,371 posts, read 462,248 times
Reputation: 2022
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4horses View Post
He probably has no one to talk to and needs some financial guidance. Just give him general answers such as "Some people" do this, some do that, "I know of one guy who....". He is just looking for options and you look like a smart, friendly lady. He probably is not trying to get up in your personal business.
I agree. I have asked general questions of friends and others who have recently retired - more geared to how they determine how much they will need to meet expenses, etc. I don't think anyone really wants to get in your business, but as retirement approaches, I know I am interested in hearing about the experiences of those who are or who have recently retired. As an example, a friend of mine said she was surprised at how much was taken out of her pension in taxes. Well, to me, that is something you could calculate beforehand by contacting whatever agency in your area handles that. I've asked some how they are doing with Medicare and whether they have the supplemental plan. Some retirement plans pay for medical, and once Medicare kicks in, will pick up the cost of the supplemental plan, but you have to ask for that just prior to going on Medicare. They won't give it to you if you realize you forgot and ask later. My questions have more to do with planning than actual dollars. And taxes
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:54 AM
 
659 posts, read 324,577 times
Reputation: 1974
I'm not surprised when I get asked. I just say I had a very good job; lived below my means and saved my money.
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:56 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,744 posts, read 7,027,781 times
Reputation: 14219
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Another retired friend and I were recently discussing how retired people, even total strangers, have zero qualms about asking questions about your finances in retirement. We have both experienced this.

It happened to me again today with a tenant in my building (a low-income senior apartment building) I had never met before. We started chatting about my dog, then after blabbing a bit, he asked if I had a one-bedroom, then wondered how I could afford it, and did I have a pension and I looked too young to be on SSA retirement, so how did I afford it without being old enough to be on SSA retirement.

Really dang nosy! But, this is not uncommon from my experience. It really was not about him hitting on me. This happens equally with women and men. And my friend does have a pension and money and owns her own place - but she said she encounters this type of nosiness, too on a regular basis.

I can understand to some degree that others who are retired are curious how other retired people afford things, etc., but it is just so weird to me how the norms of not being overly nosy and asking personal questions of strangers, are thrown out the window regarding how other seniors afford their lives, and what their sources of income are, etc.

Have you also encountered this? And how do you handle it? I need to figure out some kind of standard answers. I swear this guy today absolutely grilled me! It was disturbing. He was more over the top than the normal encounters I've had, but it's still unnerving to have strangers asking me about my money! And I feel quite sure they were trained not to do so, and never would have done so prior to being retired.

So, why is someone's retirement finances info okay to butt into, when they never would have asked someone's financial info prior to becoming retired?

And how do you deal with these people?
I've been retired since mid-2011, (at least partially till a few months ago), live in an area populated by many retirees, but have never been asked about my finances. I wouldn't ask about anyone else's either, considering it's personal information that is none of my business. Just as my financial information is not theirs, either.
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:59 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,744 posts, read 7,027,781 times
Reputation: 14219
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Perhaps you appear to be doing better than you and was hoping you'd give him your 'secret' or at least some hints.
Now that might be......ie, if you can do it maybe they can too...
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Out there somewhere...a traveling man.
39,530 posts, read 47,699,472 times
Reputation: 110336
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
If someone asks an overly personal question (in your opinion) just reply with the old Ann Landers standard answer "Why do you want to know?" They will either tell you a valid reason for wanting to know, or have to admit they're just nosy. Or you can just say "I think that's a bit of a personal question, don't you?" or ,"I don't discuss such personal details of my life", or "None of your damn business".

Honestly some people are just nosy and rude. Others are just curious how you might appear to be doing so well when they aren't. And that's still nosy and rude in my opinion.
I tell nosy people that my parents were Bonnie & Clyde, that they taught me how to make money.
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