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Old 02-15-2018, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,701 posts, read 4,731,975 times
Reputation: 28235

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
Our total retirement income is $5,014 but that is before all medical and insurance expense. To protect my wife I still carry a lot of life insurance so as it ends up after medical and insurance we are right at $3,800.60 to spend every month of which we have $2,037.24 left over after all utilities, property tax, HOA fee and mortgage. Yep, I still have a mortgage which is one reason I am still working. By working I should have the mortgage paid off in two years, I will drop one of the life insurance policies and we will end up with right at $3,000 left over every month for food and entertainment.
Thanks for telling us. I like reading about how well other people are doing.

I think we're going to have a small mortgage on our new home going into retirement.
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:03 PM
 
1,207 posts, read 1,077,871 times
Reputation: 2524
I have had a few incidences of nosy residents of my 55+ community asking too many questions about my finances. All of them were from old guys who were looking for a Nurse with a Purse after my SO moved to a mental health facility where he subsequently passed away. It was common knowledge that he was mentally ill - he had an uncommon and obvious mental disorder - so I became a prime target for awhile. Or unusually popular to look at it another way.

Seems they all assumed that I'd received a large life insurance payout (not true at all - there was no life insurance whatsoever). Considering some of the bizarre things he'd said, I can only assume that he'd planted that seed. But at any rate, they all asked, at different times, some very prying and specific questions. I responded to each of them by saying that "I have enough to take care of myself, thank you very much. And that's all you need to know."

They've never asked me another question of any sort and in fact avoid me. Works for me!
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:18 PM
 
33 posts, read 14,798 times
Reputation: 112
Just say that you stick to a strict budget and follow it with, "I really do have to go now" AS you move away.

You can be polite but keep moving; you don't 'owe' anyone a conversation.
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:39 PM
 
6,325 posts, read 5,067,075 times
Reputation: 12850
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lastfire View Post
I have been retired for 14 years and lived in two states. No one has ever asked me about finances. I have been "pushed" more often than I like to explain my political and relegious views....which I say "don't want to go there...want to talk pro football?"
I was asked once by a former co-worker. Both of us military. He was getting ready to retire and wanted to know if he should get a job.

I told him YES! I don't work cuz I don't have kids and my house is mortgage free. He has kids still in school and a new house - so yeah - you gotta work - lol.
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Old 02-15-2018, 09:49 PM
 
1,734 posts, read 1,951,284 times
Reputation: 3901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I was asked once by a former co-worker. Both of us military. He was getting ready to retire and wanted to know if he should get a job.

I told him YES! I don't work cuz I don't have kids and my house is mortgage free. He has kids still in school and a new house - so yeah - you gotta work - lol.
LOL! IMHO it's fair to guess that nobody will ever be looking at you as a PNWP (Potential Nurse with Purse), lol! Instead, you are viewed as a savvy dispenser of wisdom. Never did meet a man for whom that attribute ranked right up there with NWP, lol! Congratulations for that.
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:15 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,130 posts, read 23,000,049 times
Reputation: 35324
Wow. Thank you so much everyone for all of your varied responses.

I have learned a lot about what the various motivations of these busy-bodies might be, and I think you all have really good insightful reasons why people are so forward and nosy.

I can understand the various reasons why they ask. I'm still amazed that they would ask.

I do get it. Basically, they wonder why I can afford to live in a one-bedroom when they can't. That's not about whether or not they would qualify - that's up to them to decide if they want to spend that much money.

One thing I've learned living in these subsidized senior buildings is that many seniors blow a lot of their money on unnecessary things. Many of them gamble for instance. That's a huge problem. They smoke or buy "medical" marijuana, or they have nice cars or spend money on going out or whatever.

I, on the other hand, pretty much don't spend money on anything frivolous at all.

Lots of people are angry that they can't have as much as they want.

Still, the point is that they feel comfortable asking such personal questions.

i do agree with whoever it was that mentioned men looking for a sugar momma, or caregiver. I think it was RunsWithScissors. I do think this is true. Creepy, but true.
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:15 PM
 
1,842 posts, read 1,482,916 times
Reputation: 1313
Quote:
Originally Posted by PAhippo View Post
I'd rather not discuss finances/operations/bowel movements.
Seriously.
I'm totally cool with discussing bowel movements.

I've actually found this to be a great way to deflect the conversation away from my finances.

The more gross the topic the easier it is to deflect stuff. The more fun it is for me and that's the most important thing, Really
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Old 02-15-2018, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,130 posts, read 23,000,049 times
Reputation: 35324
Quote:
Originally Posted by IDtheftV View Post
I'm totally cool with discussing bowel movements.

I've actually found this to be a great way to deflect the conversation away from my finances.

The more gross the topic the easier it is to deflect stuff. The more fun it is for me and that's the most important thing, Really
LOL. You know, this is really funny because I have learned by watching other seniors in senior housing, that an easy way to get away from someone who won't let you go, is to just butt in and say, "I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I really have to go to the bathroom!"

I use this one a lot, and it works great! They never assume you're lying, they understand the need for a senior to have to "go," and they let you go without guilt.

I think the problem with my latest encounter with Nosy Man, was that I was relaxed and in a good mood and so I let my guard down as far as not getting involved or too friendly with my fellow tenants, and the next thing I knew, it was the exact kind of situation that I avoid by not getting too friendly with my neighbors.

Unfortunately, I have just found that living in senior housing often means dealing with nosy or needy neighbors. You're just better off not getting friendly with them. Sheesh, you let your guard down for a minute, and you end up dealing with someone being nosy or needing something from you. Argh.
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Old 02-16-2018, 03:03 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
Reputation: 14300
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
Its just another example of a general U.S. decline in respect to personal boundaries. For those kinds of questions or implied questions, I just say something vague but true. You can say, I somehow managed to save and keep on budget, doing without unimportant things while keeping important ones. All without handouts, even! Anything more than that is none of their business.

If Mr. Nosy Parker persists, youll be forced to adopt bluntness: I was brought up not to talk about personal finances with strangers. Nice weather were having, eh? The same tactic also is good for people who try to make you tell them your political stripe so they can pigeonhole you into Us or Them.
That's another question I have not been asked, ie, about my opinion of the current political state of affairs. I don't think I'd brave those waters and respond to a query about my stand on things ( whether it's just conversation or a fishing expedition) to strangers.
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Old 02-16-2018, 03:17 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,766 posts, read 7,047,160 times
Reputation: 14300
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Wow. Thank you so much everyone for all of your varied responses.

I have learned a lot about what the various motivations of these busy-bodies might be, and I think you all have really good insightful reasons why people are so forward and nosy.

I can understand the various reasons why they ask. I'm still amazed that they would ask.

I do get it. Basically, they wonder why I can afford to live in a one-bedroom when they can't. That's not about whether or not they would qualify - that's up to them to decide if they want to spend that much money.

One thing I've learned living in these subsidized senior buildings is that many seniors blow a lot of their money on unnecessary things. Many of them gamble for instance. That's a huge problem. They smoke or buy "medical" marijuana, or they have nice cars or spend money on going out or whatever.

I, on the other hand, pretty much don't spend money on anything frivolous at all.

Lots of people are angry that they can't have as much as they want.

Still, the point is that they feel comfortable asking such personal questions.

i do agree with whoever it was that mentioned men looking for a sugar momma, or caregiver. I think it was RunsWithScissors. I do think this is true. Creepy, but true.
Sadly, I think you're right about that. Not everyone, of course, but seems to me that there are too many people out there ( and not limited to those in senior or subsidized housing, either) out to use others any way they can. We had a couple neighbors like that when we lived in Miami, those who seemed interested in cultivating friendships with us, but had ulterior motives in doing so. As in, what we could do for them, ie, run endless errands for them, provide transportation for them, their elderly relatives who lived with them, babysit at the drop of a hat, lend them items we had, and which they could afford but were too cheap to buy.
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