What's up with retired folk asking personal questions about finances? (divorced, acquaintance)
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I refuse to engage in any conversation about my finances and spending habits. When those who inquire don't take a subtle but gentle hint, I'll tell them it's none of their business. Why beat about the bush? It's not anyone's business and people have some nerve thinking that it does.
Well said. With Mr. Nosy, I just kept evading his questions or instantly turning them back on him. He asked me if I had a pension and I said, "No, do you?" Then he said he did and i just said something like he must feel really blessed.
I also just often tell people that I am "blessed." I'm not religious at all, but I do feel blessed most days, even though I worked hard to get into my position. I do feel blessed that my options were even there.
But, I've learned that saying things like "I'm blessed" or "you are really blessed," tends to stop the conversation if it's about to get negative. They tend to pause, and quit grilling me.
I think the older you get the more you tend to loose filters... in other words it is easier to say what is on your mind...
In the Bay Area it seems if you are young and own a home someone must have died and left it to you or you have generous well-off family helping.
When people would ask me I would tell them straight up it really wasn't hard at all... buy the least expensive single family home on the Oakland MLS... move in and fixed it up and repeat every 12 to 18 months... then I get the glazed look most of the time but a few that have asked actually applied what I had done and made it work for them... it is the old and tried starter home method needing work in a not so great area...
There is a convenient idea that for average people to have anything someone had to give it to them... I guess it provides some solace.
On a separate note... I would visit friends at a local retirement home... they had sold homes and decided to move... it was funny because one of the ladies would give me short bios of all her friends... like that is George, he was big in Paints and sold his company for 3 million dollars or that is Jim and Betty, her father left them a fortune when he passed... well you get the idea.
I haven't read the entire thread and someone may have said this already, but we Americans like to put people in their "box" so to speak. Where did you go to school, have a college degree? What kind? What do you do for a living, etc. We have a mental hierarchy tree and want to place people on it so we can determine where they fit versus where we are.
We may not even do it consciously.One of the things I always found fascinating about Europeans, they never asked either of us what we did for a living.
In retirement, no job makes it more difficult to figure out where you/we are on the social ladder. So income is the measuring tape at that point.
Well said. With Mr. Nosy, I just kept evading his questions or instantly turning them back on him. He asked me if I had a pension and I said, "No, do you?" Then he said he did and i just said something like he must feel really blessed.
I also just often tell people that I am "blessed." I'm not religious at all, but I do feel blessed most days, even though I worked hard to get into my position. I do feel blessed that my options were even there.
But, I've learned that saying things like "I'm blessed" or "you are really blessed," tends to stop the conversation if it's about to get negative. They tend to pause, and quit grilling me.
Good comeback to such nosy questions. I might keep such a phrase in mind next time I get asked something like that.
I also don't like it when people casually ask me my salary or financial background. I believe it is none of their business unless I am hiring a financial advisor or an accountant.
Perhaps you appear to be doing better than you and was hoping you'd give him your 'secret' or at least some hints.
I agree with this. Every so often I stumble on some fact that saves a senior money. Or somone tells me something. And its always like oh you don't know this?
I don't where people get their info but I'm not telepathic.
I wonder, what don't I know? You can't know what you don't know.
You don't even know what to google. Someone has to point you in the direction.
Financially it can be confusing out there. People want to share info.
You don't have to give someone your bank balance, you can just talk in
generalities. Financial insecurity can be very tough emotionally. Im ok financially and still
worry quite a bit. Things can change fast.
Unfortunately we were taught to respect everyone during our youth -- bosses, neighbors, coworkers. It took age and retirement to realize that I don't have to respect a nosy snob, nor do I have to pretend to be nice when they intrude on my privacy.
I couldn't care less about someone's financial status ... unless they are in need and I can help. There are two types of people I refuse to waste my time on. Religious fanatics and rich snobs. I look for character in a stranger. If it's lacking, that person is not future friendship material, so I don't have to be nice.
Thank you so much for this information!! this is exactly the type of thing I was talking about. I didn't know you could pick the amount to be withheld. This is helpful for me. Next year, I am pulling the plug.
Please note that it is possible to have so little withheld that not only do you write a big check at tax time but you also owe a penalty for having so little withheld. You have to run the numbers to make sure you don't end up with a penalty.
Thank you for being a foster parent. That's a service to society that I personally believe is up there with members of the armed forces & first responders. Thanks for you service.
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