U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-05-2018, 07:33 AM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,648,609 times
Reputation: 13548

Advertisements

I only thought about it after I got cancer. Now that Iím in remission I try to focus on grabbing each day and trying to enjoy it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-05-2018, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Central Massachusetts
4,800 posts, read 4,855,118 times
Reputation: 6379
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
I only thought about it after I got cancer. Now that Iím in remission I try to focus on grabbing each day and trying to enjoy it.
Best wishes for you to get every day a wonderful one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-05-2018, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Toronto
329 posts, read 72,778 times
Reputation: 261
I'm 39 this year and think about it alot for sure. When I was in my early 30s, I was aware of it but didn't really think too much. But it hit me harder in just those few years. Having 2 young kids (4 and 2) whom I have a really strong bond with as a father (I learned from my dad's own example who continues to inspire me everyday), the thought of not being around for them hits harder.

The hard part is reconciling the daily grind and the rat race mentality that occurs with trying to mentally slow things down and really take life by the horns.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-05-2018, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Milwaukee Area of WI
1,886 posts, read 1,297,378 times
Reputation: 1988
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodentraiser View Post
If you have to think about your death, think about it positively. Here's something to help you out:

https://www.amazon.com/Important-Inf...hat+I%27m+dead

BaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I just bought that yesterday on Amazon.
I think it's a good idea and with a bit of humor
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-05-2018, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,565,977 times
Reputation: 16777
Mom was sick and denied it when she died a few months after turning 65. She had a heart anurism. Nothing then could be done but watching and hoping, so I'm glad we didn't know. She'd had a lot of health problems early on but had just felt really tired. Dad just lost it after that.

Dad died after being diagnosed with cancer. They found one tumor, capable of causing the effects they saw, and didn't look further. They didn't find out how one blocked the main blood supply to the brain, as Dad slowly started going away. It wasn't dementia exactly, and he didn't know he was forgetting once it was gone. The Vegas doctor didn't know what was wrong. He was 'managing' but then old people, especially widowers, were compromized by defination and time. One of his neighbors was taking care of him, getting him to the store or Denny's for his dinner. So far as he knew Dad had no other family. He didn't remember me when we came out to Vegas after he was hospitalized.

Dad just slowly, gradually, faded away. When he still knew, he tried to remember, but his brain was damaged by bad bloodflow and it stole him away. Technically he died from cancer. In reality he was already long gone.

I think about being 65 and worry. If what happened to Dad does to me, I don't want my 'life' extended.

Now I'm 65 and it doesn't feel real. I don't feel any different than ten years ago. My ex died, but I hadn't had any contact with him for some time. I chose to find things which make my life better and more fufilling. Some of them would require moving, and I'm not anxious to move again. Back then, it was the the best and most benificial choice. Now, I don't want to move unless its really time. And then, I also deeply wish I could, back to somewhere I could be part of the alternate place I had once found *home*. It's here too, where I live, but have to step past the comfortable. That place which worked for me, with my own, is waiting, even without moving. But I have to compromise my comfort zone to do it.

It's scary, taking chances and a little more so now. But it was worse when I chose to leave California, and everything I knew, and somehow I'm going to find my way back to fandom and people who get my jokes.

There's things which I want back, and somehow, with some work on my part, I'm sure can be done. I have no friends here. I like them, mostly, but their filter on the world is different. They don't get my jokes, and I can't be the Nightbird who is me inside, all the joys and fun and everything I am which I could be then. Getting away from all the bad memories out in California did wonders, but I left something I need, something which is here too, and don't know how to find it ...YET!

The rest, with the sense of calm inside me, I accept and know as a part of life. I've been really sick. I've had that 'high' when you feel good again, and I've compromised with the 'given', but when I found fandom, and finally felt at home. And somehow the economics of it will be resolved, and I can take those trips to a convention again and feel as if my whole life is right again. I'm even setting going to Soonercon as a goal this next year. People are different here than California, but Science Fiction Fans are still in that alternate one when we gather and celebrate the meeting of family far and near who come to go home for a weekend.

With 'normal' life, I'm mostly peaceful. I figure when my time is up, its here. My pets are also aging. Most of the cats are ten years old. I want my writing set up somehow so friends can post my stories. I want to get all my trek stuff together and posted ot sites where it will remain, too. And stuff, I'd like to go to people who want it. I'd even give my house to someone who *needed* a home and would keep it up. I do plan when he's in a position for it to move in with my son (after some talks about respecting everyone's religion). Sometimes now going on 66 I'd like that but he's got a few moves before he settles down. I figure I've already gotten in the illness time so maybe I'll actually get a long life.

I don't talk about religion or beliefs much, and as a pagan/wiccan I believe this is just one life. But I was one of those kids who dealt deeply with things. I went to church as a kid, but mostly I believed there was some sort of god, and didn't find the christan ones quite right. I didn't actually meet any pagans for a long time, but came to the belief myself. When I did it was like coming home. But I do believe we have many lives. There is a goal with each to bring us closer to peace. When peace is found, real wordless understanding, we no longer need more lives.

This life has been full of hard moments and sadness, but with much to learn. I have come to see its promise and beauty along with the dark but crave a life with the uneventful being the norm. But life is a journey, and when we find that peace we seek, we see a larger world. I'm still looking but there is a peace in me which wasn't always there. Somehow I know I didn't make it to here the last life.

Last edited by nightbird47; 04-05-2018 at 05:08 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-05-2018, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,485 posts, read 43,819,649 times
Reputation: 47263
71, overweight, already had one heart attack about 3 years ago---so sure, I think about my death all the time. I was so convinced I was going to die last night I asked Ms. Google to recite the Lord's Prayer and she "can't help you with that". She knows the life span of a bluebird but not the Lord's Prayer! Made me laugh and I woke up this morning just fine!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2018, 06:22 AM
 
168 posts, read 130,075 times
Reputation: 844
I am 66 and I am taking my 6 Grandchildren to WDW this June. I have saved all year to make it possible. People around me are dropping like flies. Each month a funeral of someone I know or their loved one. In past 7 years I have lost husband, father, 2 beloved sister in laws and a young niece, all to illness. So I am going to WDW in June, got tickets to see Cher August, planning to go to Boston the summer of 2019, doing early Christmas shopping, planning attending grandchildren concerts, plays, games, graduations, birthdays.... I am living each day and having fun. Making memories.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2018, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Western North Carolina
4,954 posts, read 7,888,764 times
Reputation: 10427
Quote:
Originally Posted by luzianne View Post
Yes, but until I was 53 or 54 I never thought about it at all. When you are young, you think you have plenty of time to do whatever you want to do. It wasn't till my mid 50s that I realized that my time was running out and that no, I don't have all the time in the world like I thought I did.
Same here. Reaching my mid-fifties has brought my sense of "time left" to a very sharp and keen awareness. I'm trying to use that in a positive way. It is forcing me to make all kinds of changes and take chances I would not have had the courage to take 10 years ago. The down side is that I find I have very little patience anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2018, 08:57 AM
 
197 posts, read 65,797 times
Reputation: 587
A bit off topic but I can't help to notice how proper the spelling, grammar, punctuation etc. is in most if not all of these posts. I'm in my early 30's and think constantly about retirement and how I'm going to go out, I don't know any member of my family, paternal or fraternal, that lived to see 80. I'm really hoping I break that streak, I want to enjoy retirement. I'm also an educator, so seeing how well sentences are formulated both make me feel good about how schools were, but also a bit miffed with lack of sentence structure skills people have today.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2018, 09:13 AM
 
12,746 posts, read 14,101,964 times
Reputation: 34926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suevee View Post
I am 66
.... I am living each day and having fun. Making memories.
I am eighty. I am living each day too, some are fun, some are a pain in the ass; but I've reached the point where I do serious editing before I get sucked unthinkingly into activities. To the extent that I am living day by day, making memories plays very little part in them. It is enough to live them, be grateful and let each one go. Making memories at 80?....Why collect dead days?

"The past is a country we have all emigrated from," Salman Rushdie.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top