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Old 02-18-2018, 08:08 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
32,115 posts, read 36,749,027 times
Reputation: 38830

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucFan View Post

I'd change the locks, change the phone number or move far away and leave no forwarding address if I were you.
Screw them. I would change my phone number but I'd lie to them about the moving part. I'd tell them I moved far away but stay put.
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:19 PM
 
5,433 posts, read 3,468,547 times
Reputation: 13714
excellent post at #18, Mr jgHorton! good insights!
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Northern California
107 posts, read 57,419 times
Reputation: 222
It's easy to say screw them but hard to do. I am so sorry.

Pick the easy way out, you are most important. Maybe consider a part time job on site. Such as living part time in one area where you live running a resort or something, then part time in another area. Get creative. Create some enviornment which isn't conducive to family visiting.

Such as rent one of your rooms out on AIRB&B. THen tell them your extra rooms are intended to bring in income. No need to state how many days a year you actually do this, just do it a few times. If you rent it out less than 14 days a year, you don't even need to claim it on your taxes. You pay no taxes, it's a special IRS Rule

I hope you update us. Seems this isn't as uncommon as we think, someone here has to have a few creative solutions based on experience Good luck
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:21 PM
 
2,279 posts, read 1,129,585 times
Reputation: 9289
Live in a tiny house so there's no room for relatives to move in.
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Northern California
107 posts, read 57,419 times
Reputation: 222
Just a friendly reminder to the forum- the OP Is not on trial here and is not obligated to explain the reasoning for his OP. He's requested advice, let's be polite
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:27 PM
 
418 posts, read 267,781 times
Reputation: 892
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI-Roger View Post
More than one of my wife's siblings has indicated they want/expect to move in with my wife and I as we approach and enter retirement. They will all be entering retirement dead broke. My wife's response is that she wants to move to Thailand and volunteer in an Elephant Rescue to get away from her family, their constant using of her and emotional toil they dump on her (us). I reminded my wife that she does not like Thai food, but she said she didn't care about that.

Anyone else have this or similar situation? We can't be the only ones faced with a duty to self and duty to dysfunctional 'family' dilemma.

We live three hours away but fear that isn't far enough. I countered Thailand with a Red Deer preserve in New Zealand.
Tell them, "Yes, and the rent is $5000/month + assigned chores: cooking, cleaning, and general worship at our feet."
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Northern California
107 posts, read 57,419 times
Reputation: 222
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrick85395 View Post
Tell them, "Yes, and the rent is $5000/month + assigned chores: cooking, cleaning, and general worship at our feet."
ingenious
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,330 posts, read 4,193,442 times
Reputation: 15985
Is anyone in this scenario Thai? In some cultures this is expected. But if neither you nor your wife want relatives moving in with you, just say no. I certainly wouldn't disrupt my life just to avoid the situation.
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,109 posts, read 17,439,125 times
Reputation: 41719
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI-Roger View Post
More than one of my wife's siblings has indicated they want/expect to move in with my wife and I as we approach and enter retirement. They will all be entering retirement dead broke. My wife's response is that she wants to move to Thailand and volunteer in an Elephant Rescue to get away from her family, their constant using of her and emotional toil they dump on her (us). I reminded my wife that she does not like Thai food, but she said she didn't care about that.

Anyone else have this or similar situation? We can't be the only ones faced with a duty to self and duty to dysfunctional 'family' dilemma.

We live three hours away but fear that isn't far enough. I countered Thailand with a Red Deer preserve in New Zealand.
First of all, if they are "dead broke" your relatives should not be retiring, they need to keep on working. Heck, my aunt, who had minimum wage jobs most of her life so had very little SS, worked full time until her late 60s and then worked half time until she was 80 years old (because she "couldn't afford to retire"). And, even she never considered "mooching" off of relatives.

No, I do not know anyone who had to support a sibling either before or after they retired (with the exception of people who became caregivers to a mentally ill or cognitively disabled relative).

Just say "No".
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:59 PM
 
3,604 posts, read 1,655,235 times
Reputation: 13554
do They actually ask or state they will being moving in with you? I think making excuses isn’t clear enough. Just a simple answer is no. No explanation or excuses required. You and your wife don’t have to justify yourselves. If that is too hard then by all means state diplomatically you and wife can’t accommodate live in guests because you are in the process of exploring downsizing and/or lifestyle changes. If they ask what they are you just say that right now it is exploring and change the subject and keep changing the subject.
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