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Old 02-20-2018, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Vermont
10,305 posts, read 11,216,655 times
Reputation: 14181

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I don't think I know of anyone who has moved in with siblings in retirement. That's not to say that siblings who get along well, have similar values, and are prepared to be self-supporting should never do it, but it's not common in the United States.


As for the OP's situation, I think a simple, "I'm afraid that won't be possible," is the only response that is necessary.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:49 AM
 
11,931 posts, read 20,379,765 times
Reputation: 19328
Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
The issue here is not the idea that siblings asked, its the fact that they CONTINUALLY express that opinion. That issue is entirely on the OP. I have never had someone continually ask me something if I said no the first time....and meant it. I think the OP and/or his wife just havent expressed this to the siblings. If they had of, there would be no "continual" asking.
ďNoĒ doesnít work for everybody.

I have a few people on my life who I have continually and clearly said no to their strange requests. I have reasoned, explained, yelled, been strict, said simply no, and shut the door in their faces. And still they come back to try.

Other than killing them, there is no solution. And Iím not going to kill anyone, thatís not my nature.
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,025 posts, read 17,335,191 times
Reputation: 41308
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX View Post
We have relatives who occasionally need some help paying for groceries or incidentals, but they've never tried to move in with us. They did, however, move in with each other and pooled their resources. As a result, the requests for assistance have decreased a lot. You might consider telling your wife's relatives point blank they are NOT moving in with you, but they should consider moving in with each other.
Good points.
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Old 02-20-2018, 02:35 PM
Status: "Be yourself. What's the alternative?" (set 17 days ago)
 
8,681 posts, read 10,833,943 times
Reputation: 12728
OMG, can't even imagine.
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Old 02-20-2018, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,856 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30717
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX View Post
We have relatives who occasionally need some help paying for groceries or incidentals, but they've never tried to move in with us. They did, however, move in with each other and pooled their resources. As a result, the requests for assistance have decreased a lot. You might consider telling your wife's relatives point blank they are NOT moving in with you, but they should consider moving in with each other.
Good thinking.
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,096 posts, read 3,457,793 times
Reputation: 10158
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackmccullough View Post
I don't think I know of anyone who has moved in with siblings in retirement. That's not to say that siblings who get along well, have similar values, and are prepared to be self-supporting should never do it, but it's not common in the United States.


As for the OP's situation, I think a simple, "I'm afraid that won't be possible," is the only response that is necessary.
I have a 'deal' with one of my brothers. He is 5 years older than me; his wife is my age. He's a great guy, but neither he nor wife managed money all that well. She was stay at home mom. He is still working and sadly has a life shortening illness.

I have told him that if his wife ever needs or wants to live with us or in one of our houses, she is welcome. I made this offer based on knowing and liking my SIL for forty years. She is one of my best friends and my husband likes her too. My guess is she will not want to live with us in MX, but may want to live in our USA house, which sits empty 80% of the time. That house has a floor plan that would allow us privacy when we are in the US, even with her in another wing of the house.
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Xtreme SW Tennessee
856 posts, read 589,783 times
Reputation: 2085
"Just say NO"
Start practicing!
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,096 posts, read 3,457,793 times
Reputation: 10158
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadhogHR View Post
"Just say NO"
Start practicing!
No is not always the answer. The OP does not like his relatives. He may not have a large enough house (or multiple) houses as we do.

My childhood was pretty rough and my older brother protected me, to his own detriment. He NEVER asked me to help his wife should he pre-decease her.
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Old 02-22-2018, 09:28 PM
 
Location: USA
1,899 posts, read 4,151,840 times
Reputation: 2013
@dothetwist that is awfully nice of you.
I imagine you have given your brother some peace of mind.
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Old 02-22-2018, 10:00 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 746,845 times
Reputation: 8875
My sister and I used to joke about me eventually moving into the basement of her home.

Then she and her husband sold the house and moved into a condo.

I still enjoy kidding her occasionally about having sold "my" basement.
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