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Old 02-21-2018, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
5,482 posts, read 4,096,685 times
Reputation: 7278

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My opinion is you do it. You don't sound happy where you are at and the longer you put it off, the more difficult it will be to move both healthwise and mental wise.
If you stay you are already unhappy now so you know the result of staying is to be unhappy until you pass.
At age 58 I moved cross country by myself after living in the same area all my life.
My life has improved and I am very happy I did it although the month I moved was the most stressful time of my life. But that's because I had so much more to move than most people. 2 semi truck trailers , a pickup truck I drove towing a 20 foot trailer probably overloaded and having no towing experience.
Yellowsnow is right, it was a great adventure. I sent emails and pictures of my cross country trip to friends who sent back comments I should be a writer because of the stories I told.
My advice, be brave and do it. You will always have support of people here too.
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Old 02-21-2018, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,256 posts, read 4,143,320 times
Reputation: 15687
We moved to Arizona in 2014 and almost immediately made friends in the different groups we associated with. I wouldn't even worry about it.
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Old 02-21-2018, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,549,506 times
Reputation: 16772
Two words... do it. It sounds like you've thought it through and looked things up until your running out of things. And you really don't want to live where you do. And you have a great anticipation of starting over, fresh and leaving the old baggage behind. And I'll bet it makes you feel deeply excited about the day you leave. And scared to leave the known and familiar behind too.

I was introduced to where I live by a friend I met. We met at a convention for the tv show Jericho, which took place in Northern Kansas. I'd never been across the midwest, and it was amazing to me, so much space without stores or cars or people. She and household had moved here from Orlando, and loved the quiet. She didn't push it but the idea took off in my head. I decided before I said anything, but ask someone in family if it was possible. They knew I was miserable.

It was scary sometimes. Taking a chance was a great achievement, but the busy little man whispered about all the chances. I told it to go away. I'd looked at the house on my second convention, next year, and loved it already. With my stuff piled on the floor, it just looked beautiful. That was ten years ago. I think of other options now, especially into some kind of place where transportation wouldn't be a problem. But I still don't know if I really do want that, and are looking for alternatives to solve the problems.

But I was always the kid too shy to take a chance. I was a loner and am a loner, but didn't see how moving on would make anything different. But a tv show about survival, and post apoc survival at that, really had inspired me. People found uses for knowledge they had not imagined had so much power. And they adjusted.

I wanted to get away from the same old same old. The lure of something new and different, especially after the trip here, 'home' felt unsufferable. And family knew I was very unhappy, and helped organize the adventure.

If I hadn't been in as much of a need to go, I might have looked by a list of needs, and decided it just wasn't close 'enough'. I did it soley on belief. If my friend could come from Tampa and be happy, I could come from the other coast and be the same.

Over the years since, I've had bad times. My friends death was the worse. I really wanted to see them again. But her heart quit first. In the time since, I haven't really looked for friends. I still feel 'different' but its okay. And this is home, now. Someday I'll find a place just like me, but then, I'd have to leave home. It's not perfect, but that leave nothing left to do...

Somehow, it never seemed that choosing to leave the old and embrase a new place would make the reality that 'home' is within you, not a place, and for each of us, it is unique.
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Old 02-21-2018, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,175 posts, read 8,696,248 times
Reputation: 6194
Smile Where in Florida are you thinking of?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyM View Post
I have been planning to move from Illinois to Florida or another state for many years,
after I retired, especially, a few years ago. I have the money saved and a mortgage
approval but am afraid of moving there alone as a senior single where I know no one at all. I have no one
special at home. or in my life.I worry about finding new doctors and establishing myself in a condo and a whole new city, though I have visited the area many times. Done much research on the internet.
I also have a serious health concern (no disease yet) and have low energy to get things done.
Just thinking about leaving this mediocre apartment building after decades makes me very very nervous.

How can I motivate myself to do this? It was always my dream to move to a sunny area where nature is scenic instead of the blah weather and environs.
Have you visited? The sun might be good for you. I know it is a mood lifter for me.
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Old 02-22-2018, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,547 posts, read 17,549,506 times
Reputation: 16772
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyM View Post
I have been planning to move from Illinois to Florida or another state for many years,
after I retired, especially, a few years ago. I have the money saved and a mortgage
approval but am afraid of moving there alone as a senior single where I know no one at all. I have no one
special at home. or in my life.I worry about finding new doctors and establishing myself in a condo and a whole new city, though I have visited the area many times. Done much research on the internet.
I also have a serious health concern (no disease yet) and have low energy to get things done.
Just thinking about leaving this mediocre apartment building after decades makes me very very nervous.

How can I motivate myself to do this? It was always my dream to move to a sunny area where nature is scenic instead of the blah weather and environs.
Maybe you start by just having a visit. Don't commit yourself to any outcome, just keep an open mind. And keep a notebook of thoughts, with a page about all the great things you find your thinking of now its possibly real, and the other things which feel really scary when you let go of the familiar.

Next step is to take a trip and visit. But this time the reason is to see how you feel there. Check out the suggested areas, and keep notes. And be honest. And don't allow yourself to sink into worry about the physical part of moving. When you have a place to go you want, it fades to background.

And If there's a few areas you're interested in, call someone there, and get their advise. Ask the questions you need to. And don't hesitate to go online, places like this, and ask questions. And keep a list of places you liked, and a contact and add any questions you haven't asked.

And get excited about it. Don't let fear hold you back. If you have somewhere specific there you'd like to see, when you know when the trip is, set up an appointment. Do this for the possibles. It's harder to get scared and back off. And if your subject to the 'what ifs' which come after you have this positive image has worked its way in, then list them, but give them no more power than any normal question.

It sounds like your finding so much to worry about when you don't even know if its worthy of the time. And set a time you want to go and visit. Pick a way to get there, call people who can help you with your search, and GO.

Don't commit yourself to anything until you have a feeling, but get as much information as you can.

And get all the information you can and set up your trip, and list out your questions and go...

Moving from where your used to can be a really hard thing, and the best decision you ever made into reality but you don't know until you begin to try.
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Old 02-22-2018, 02:45 AM
 
13,319 posts, read 25,565,364 times
Reputation: 20505
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47 View Post
Two words... do it. ..
Somehow, it never seemed that choosing to leave the old and embrase a new place would make the reality that 'home' is within you, not a place, and for each of us, it is unique.
There's a real zen-like wisdom to this. Familiarity and a comfortable (or safe, easy) rut does not mean resonance inside. External factors can help or hurt, for instance, I'd find it hard to feel at home in any sense somewhere that was very ugly or something. But to feel resonance, that is a process. I am trying for some clarity of thought here and not making it

Home is how we take care of ourselves and the tendrils of self that come out to a place and/or persons slowly touch and entwine. (And leaving same involves the opposite process. Sometimes we rip them out, sometimes we unwind).

It really is true that you cannot go home again, like the book says.
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Old 02-22-2018, 02:53 AM
 
Location: NJ
972 posts, read 2,421,757 times
Reputation: 1840
Moving is stressful and a royal pain but it is also exciting to have a change. Try to focus on the positive and all the new experiences you will have. As far as not knowing anyone, all you have to do is smile, be friendly and show sincere interest in others and you will have new friends in no time. Put yourself out there. Don't lock yourself away from the world.
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Old 02-22-2018, 04:01 AM
 
Location: Port Charlotte FL
1,069 posts, read 634,095 times
Reputation: 3114
just do it, or the 'what if' will always be in the back of your mind..
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Old 02-22-2018, 06:38 AM
 
1,831 posts, read 2,137,902 times
Reputation: 2602
Stay where you are. Take a cruise occasionally if you have cabin fever. There is no real need for anyone to relocate. Retirement is not a good reason.
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Old 02-22-2018, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,522 posts, read 8,765,146 times
Reputation: 12215
Maybe it's not fear. I have seen 3 friends and 2 family members eagerly retire to their retirement dream locations, which they all had visited before frequently as tourists, only to return home within a year. Or, sometimes fear can be more like wisdom.
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