U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 02-28-2018, 11:34 PM
442 posts, read 280,893 times
Reputation: 2904


Hi! So Iím putting myself in the position you describe to see if I can come up with any reasonable suggestions, you are an introvert, never developed anything for hobbies because you were busy working, but youíre worried about becoming too isolated and bored. So what comes to my mind is adult equivalents of toddlersí side by side play, where you can be with people, observe, get some stimulation, but without so much interaction that it drains an introvert.
Maybe starting a gym habit, where are are exercising alongside people, but everybody is focused on their own thing, not on talking to you? Occasionally reading at a library instead of at home, again youíre out and around people, but not forced to be overly social. Telling a volunteer organization that interests you that youíd like to help, but prefer behind the scenes work, such as stuffing envelopes or setting up a room for a social event, to up front roles such as greeting the public. Sometimes on days when I need interaction from a distance just going out to see a movie or concert or restaurant by myself (inyour case, either by yourself or with spouse) is just enough stimulation without having to get involved with anyone. Sometimes just getting out of the house for a scenic drive is as much as I need.
Nothing wrong with deliberately choosing a hobby after retirement, that suits your needs and interests. Lots of good hobbies for introverts, photography, playing an instrument, collecting something, that can stay mostly solitary interests, or can become a social thing if you ever want it to be.
You sound quite self aware, so Iíll bet you will do just fine as you move forward and start dealing with how to handle big blocks of time with only your own inclination to consult. Stay flexible, try things out, keep what works.
Quick reply to this message

Old 03-01-2018, 01:57 AM
Location: Pennsylvania
16,337 posts, read 10,327,920 times
Reputation: 28450
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
I know there are many types, such as "artistic explorer", "hobbyist", "hands-on grandparent", "still working", and many more, and I am curious about how you now identify yourself other than as just 'retired'.

I am now 64 and fast approaching my final stage of life (barring, I hope, a stay in an ALF!), and it occurs to me that I am not sure how well I am handling -- or will handle -- my retirement as far as my attitude, lifestyle, etc. I have had no real role models, and I am basically clueless as to how I should approach being in my 70's and 80's, assuming that I am in good health and have enough money.

When I was younger, I was too busy just living and trying to survive -- working, paying my bills, etc. -- that I just never stopped to really think about retirement except as some vague notion as far as living in a pretty spot with my husband with occasional dinners out or sightseeing trips. When I was a kid, I just thought I would end up as a kindly grandmother who provided cookies, babysitting and holiday dinners -- but that has not proven to be in my future. As my husband and I are both non-churchgoing introverts, I am envisioning basically living life as bored shut-ins, as we have no hobbies unless one considers cooking and reading "hobbies". Neither of us have ever been either the hobby or sports/physically-oriented type, as our jobs have been our focus for most of our lives.

So I guess I am asking is how did you find YOUR "retirement identify" and I am looking for advice as to how to find mind and not go crazy with boredom in the coming years!


1st step: get over the 'just retired' attitude. Being able to retire is an accomplishment.

2nd step: just because you did it then doesn't mean you should do it now. You're working on that; good! Look around and see what's out there. There are books about what to do in retirement. If being around people isn't your thing, work with animals. Or be a kindly grandmother to a group of kids. I think there's a foster grandmother program.

Me? I had my retirement identity way before retirement. Not working has given me time to live as I want. almost anyway.
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 04:07 AM
Location: Ypsilanti, MI
2,434 posts, read 3,659,178 times
Reputation: 4778
Coking and Reading are good starting points.

I see Community College and/or Senior Programs in our area designed around learning and experimenting with world cuisines. Meet others and learn something new.

My wife and I, as pre-retirees, volunteer in the Used Book Store at the local Library. Opportunity to meet other people and a great opportunity to buy books at super discount prices, then re-donate them for charitable deduction.
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 04:17 AM
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,696 posts, read 2,602,180 times
Reputation: 2594
Originally Posted by mrrational View Post
old phart at the dog park
ha!!!!! Love this!!!
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 04:27 AM
Location: Kennett Square, PA
1,696 posts, read 2,602,180 times
Reputation: 2594
I'll most likely have to work part-time forever, but in the off times I see myself simply hanging out with my dogs, volunteering with the placement and fostering of canines and getting involved with a small-to-medium sized church. It's all I need or want. OH....and growing vegetable and flower gardens That's pretty much it; nothing fancy, but still my dream.
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 04:51 AM
Location: Northern California
107 posts, read 57,073 times
Reputation: 222
alot of libraries have once a month book-sales put on by volunteers. You can also teach children to read at the library. They often have a literacy project.

start growing your own food- vegetables and such. Then join the local gardening club. Those are usually small groups of people who are also introverts. Not many extroverts in vegetable gardening.

You may want to consider attending a small church. Less overwhelming and that would automatically give you something to do at least once a week. Cooking in the kitchen preparing the potluck with 3 others is what i used to do ina larger church. i hate crowds.

I'd like to start a chicken club for those of us who love chickens
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 05:24 AM
6,531 posts, read 1,339,947 times
Reputation: 16547
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Do you have any interests?

One of the best things you can do is cultivate a lot of interests.
First, I want to thank EVERYONE for "chiming" in, and providing so many great suggestions.

However, to answer your question, most of my interests are not active, but passive (history and politics, mostly). I have a brown thumb, so gardening's out, and I also have NO artistic or musical talent, unfortunately. So now in addition to reading, writing on CD, and cooking and baking, that's it. I do like the book club idea, though, as I have often thought about joining. And Meet-ups is an excellent idea, but all the ones in my area that interest me are full. I have volunteered many times in the past (reading tutor, food bank volunteer, political campaign caller, hospital), but quite frankly, I am not interested in doing any of those again, although I am thinking about possibly being some kind of nature/hiking trail clean-up volunteer -- any thoughts or opinions on that idea?

But, again, great replies on this thread, and MUCH appreciated!

Last edited by katharsis; 03-01-2018 at 06:22 AM..
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 05:44 AM
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,095 posts, read 3,456,394 times
Reputation: 10153
Live outside the US for a year. It will challenge you, it will open your eyes, your mind and your heart.
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 05:47 AM
Location: Pennsylvania
16,337 posts, read 10,327,920 times
Reputation: 28450
I think the clean-up thing is a GREAT idea! If you can't find a group to do it with, do it alone. I usually have a plastic grocery bag in my pocket when I walk. On a good day, it stays in my pocket.

How about getting one of those nature id books? They have specialized ones-just trees, or just flowers-but look for one that has a little of everything.

Bird watching can be enjoyable. So can critter watching. If you sit still long enough, you might enjoy the show or the serenade.

Keep in mind you're not committed to anything. if you see something or hear of something new, try it. If you like it continue. If not, move on to something else.
Quick reply to this message
Old 03-01-2018, 06:13 AM
346 posts, read 255,946 times
Reputation: 1081
After working 38 years, even more if you count babysitting as a teen lol, I identify myself as an active "social butterfly". Going out to dinners, happy hours, pot lucks, beach days, tennis, golf, gym, bocce, traveling, shopping... etc.

Today DH and I have nothing on the schedule. It's a good day to chill out by the pool and do some shopping at all the local thrift stores in the area.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top