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Old 03-02-2018, 03:52 PM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,821 posts, read 18,826,487 times
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Yes, I do the same things I have always done but these days people might think it is due to age.

The other night I had a new art class. Having moved here recently, I should have checked it out beforehand but I had good directions and it seemed simple so I just went. It was dark and it was raining. Turns out the main road was closed off. I had to use my phone to get there and was 1/2 hour late, feeling frantic, and arrived announcing that I didn't even know where I was because the road was closed off. (Meaning I literally didn't know what town I was in. I am new here.) That was probably taken the wrong way.

I wasn't taken as ditzy in the class. The teacher is age 84, which made me feel better.

But when we all went out to our cars, I fumbled with getting into the car because I just bought it and this was only my second time driving it. Some nice classmate started to help me into the car!

Twenty years ago I would have been exactly the same (except no GPS or phone.) But being older, this time I was conscious that people considered me to be sort of "off."
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,753,854 times
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Being ditzy isn't like someone starting to suffer from memory lose. Ditzy is like that old Pizza Hut commercial where Jessica Simpson thought Buffalo wings were made from buffalos not chicken. Totally different than forgetting where you left your glasses.
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:34 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,741 posts, read 7,022,649 times
Reputation: 14219
Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
Yes, I do the same things I have always done but these days people might think it is due to age.

The other night I had a new art class. Having moved here recently, I should have checked it out beforehand but I had good directions and it seemed simple so I just went. It was dark and it was raining. Turns out the main road was closed off. I had to use my phone to get there and was 1/2 hour late, feeling frantic, and arrived announcing that I didn't even know where I was because the road was closed off. (Meaning I literally didn't know what town I was in. I am new here.) That was probably taken the wrong way.

I wasn't taken as ditzy in the class. The teacher is age 84, which made me feel better.

But when we all went out to our cars, I fumbled with getting into the car because I just bought it and this was only my second time driving it. Some nice classmate started to help me into the car!

Twenty years ago I would have been exactly the same (except no GPS or phone.) But being older, this time I was conscious that people considered me to be sort of "off."

Around here in this community populated in the majority by retirees/ senior citizens, we'd blame such actions on "having a senior moment", even if it's something many of us ( including me), might have done in our younger years as well.
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:44 PM
 
2,968 posts, read 1,006,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
I'm sorry to hear that. I can tell you from personal experience that no matter your chronological age, or gender for that matter, life is so much more pleasant if you don't always have to be a victim.

One's mindset makes the biggest difference in the world.
Well thank you, but it's more than that, much more. It's a social justice issue. Actually it's two social justice issues, ageism and sexism. Are you suggesting that ageism and sexism are imaginary and based on the inadequacies of the victims? Sure sounds like it.

Your response was classic "blaming the victim."
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:52 PM
 
5,405 posts, read 2,330,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travelassie View Post
i'm sorry to hear that. I can tell you from personal experience that no matter your chronological age, or gender for that matter, life is so much more pleasant if you don't always have to be a victim.

One's mindset makes the biggest difference in the world.
+1.
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Old 03-02-2018, 06:46 PM
 
2,968 posts, read 1,006,212 times
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Victim Blaming
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming

Social*justice*issues*occur globally, nationally, regionally, locally, and within groups. These*issues*are a result of unequal wealth and resource distribution, unfair treatment of individuals with differing triats (race, culture, sextual orientation, religion, etc), and laws that support segregation.

So, you're suggesting? What? A product of the IMAGINATION of someone who merely self-identifies as a victim? Really?
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Old 03-02-2018, 07:10 PM
 
2,968 posts, read 1,006,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
I'm retirement age ( 70), and I honestly don't give a happy hoot about what anyone else thinks about me. If they think I am ditzy, I would regard that as their problem, not mine.
Well, it does become your problem if you're not retired and you have to deal with the public, you teach, you own a business and have to regularly interact with other businesses and clients, or you're working on a graduate degree and reliant on the support of your university.

Under these circumstances it's preferable, it's more effective, if you're perceived as competent.
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Old 03-02-2018, 09:39 PM
 
6,604 posts, read 3,736,021 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
Let me start by saying I'm 67. Not really retired but retirement age. The grandfather of one of my students, only a few years older than me (6-7 years, I think), was just put in a retirement center by his family. He had serious memory loss/confusion. For example, he initially brought his grandson to me to study, bought a violin from me, and then shortly afterwards stated he wants to buy the violin (after he already had paid for it). My mother had this, too, real loss of short term memory.

I'm finding if I forget something, people may assume I'm ditzy, too. For example, on YouTube, on my tablet at least, it you don't click on this little triangle on the bottom right under the video, the date doesn't drop down. I didn't realize that and posted an inquiry about an old video on Hillary Clinton, thinking she was going to run again. A friend gently corrected me on Facebook; it was an old video, she's not running again.

Well, there was a rumor she was running again (she isn't), but posting that old video made me look ditzy. I hadn't noticed the date.

So, if you're retirement age, do you worry about people thinking you're losing it?
Yes, I try to watch it, since I know that people will assume certain things because of age. I am 64 but look younger (being female, I'm able to get away with dyeing my hair, keeping it longer, manner of dress, all of which helps convey a younger image), so I don't have a huge problem with that. But I've noticed it more, as the years pass. A comment here and there, a joke or two.

My memory has gotten worse (it was never good about certain things...I think it's called selective memory). So I don't usually call attention to it in public, if it occurs. But with family, it can be funny, as we all try to remember the name of some famous actor on tv, but none of us can. We do eventually, of course, but it's funny to hear us all saying "Oh, what IS that guy's name?" And someone else will say the same thing.

Ironically, what I tend to hear occasionally is a comment about how smart I am. I guess I should be flattered, but I get the impression that they're surprised by that, so not really a compliment. (Did I look like an idiot, so they're surprised I know how to multiply in my head, or how much power a nightlight uses?)
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Old 03-03-2018, 01:54 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,741 posts, read 7,022,649 times
Reputation: 14219
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
Well, it does become your problem if you're not retired and you have to deal with the public, you teach, you own a business and have to regularly interact with other businesses and clients, or you're working on a graduate degree and reliant on the support of your university.

Under these circumstances it's preferable, it's more effective, if you're perceived as competent.
If you are truly competent, or better than just competent, ie, outstanding in your chosen field, your reputation, hard work and your own engagement with your public will supercede any concerns anyone who matters might have about your gender, or your age. These simply will not be issues. I can speak from experience in this regard.

A chronic victim mentality does the holder no favors, it saps the energy that would be better placed in the hard work of making a name for oneself, and achieving one's goals. Better to work on one's "competency" than to use the victim mentality as an excuse for a perceived ( real, or imagined) lack of same.

This is true no matter what one does in this life.
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Old 03-03-2018, 02:01 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
9,741 posts, read 7,022,649 times
Reputation: 14219
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
Victim Blaming
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming

Social*justice*issues*occur globally, nationally, regionally, locally, and within groups. These*issues*are a result of unequal wealth and resource distribution, unfair treatment of individuals with differing triats (race, culture, sextual orientation, religion, etc), and laws that support segregation.

So, you're suggesting? What? A product of the IMAGINATION of someone who merely self-identifies as a victim? Really?
As they say, " life ain't fair". So, self-identifying as a "victim" in perpetuity gets one where, exactly?
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