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Old 03-04-2018, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,246 posts, read 8,538,301 times
Reputation: 35677

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
LOL, classic response for lack of a valid response to an argument, ie, personal attacks.

You are right, though, you have no clue as to how or where I grew up, where I have been or what my experiences were. Suffice it to say that I'm only too aware of the existence of both sexism and ageism, having experienced both in my life. But I have chosen not to concentrate on those negatives, instead focusing over the years on developing my own talents, character, my personal and professional relationships with others, my work ethic and integrity, and I believe these are the attributes that define me to those I know and who matter to me, not whether or not I'm an old lady, or I'm ditzy. And for those who might judge me based solely on my age or gender, (or even my posting comments they don't like)they simply don't matter.

So off you go onto my ignore list. Have a nice life.
You seem to have an amazingly loose definition of ad hominem attacks...even more than the mods and that is saying something. Of course a long "ignore" list assures you get to hear only what you want to, screening out even the mildest of disagreements.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:16 AM
 
3,099 posts, read 824,721 times
Reputation: 1760
Plenty of applause for those who actively work to counter societal negativity - be it ageism, sexism, racism, what-have-you. No doubt they made - and continue to make - our lives better.

But how we choose to respond - or not - to discreet daily events will impact future quality of life. Here, I've noticed differences between men and women - in their perceptions of aging and how they rank themselves or try to.

For my father it appeared important that he continue to be vital and physically strong. I'd hear him and his male friends discuss those in their community who couldn't quite keep up - say, for example, when putting up the community Christmas decorations. The men who were still able to climb ladders seemingly outranked those who could only watch.

My father died in the hospital a few days after a heart attack. Hoping to return home, he did NOT want visitors but one friend insisted on coming to the hospital then stood in front of my Dad going on and on about how HE was still physically vital.

On the other hand, women seem to be particularly cognizant or at least more willing to discuss perceived cognitive failings. The other day I eavesdropped on a group of women in their 70s who were having lunch while they discussed the "ditziness" of various acquaintances. Already, I've noticed that friends (again, it's the women) in their 60s are starting to highlight or call attention to a moment that would have been dismissed or ignored a few years earlier.

It's like it's a form of one-upmanship, part of our competitive culture that I'm trying to ignore - or better yet avoid.
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Old 03-04-2018, 03:55 PM
 
3,038 posts, read 1,020,626 times
Reputation: 3856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
Well, as I see it, you can concentrate your energies on fighting all those so- called social justice windmills, or you can use them to direct your own unique talents and accomplish your goals. Your choice, of course, but IMO you deprive the world of the gifts your talents and accomplishments could bring by choosing to limit them within confines construed by those who identify as victims beyond all else.

Your response was classic chronic victim, and IMO that's sad.
On reflection (see below), I think you were right about this--you just didn't present it in a friendly or kindly manner.


Nobody In The Boat
The Taoists have a famous teaching about an empty boat that rams into your boat in the middle of a river. While you probably wouldn’t be angry at an empty boat, you might well become enraged if someone were at its helm.

The point of the story is that the parents who didn’t see you, the other kids who teased you as a child, the driver who aggressively tailgated you yesterday – are all in fact empty, rudderless boats. They were compulsively driven to act as they did by their own unexamined wounds, therefore they did not know what they were doing and had little control over it.

Just as an empty boat that rams into us isn’t targeting us, so too people who act unkindly are driven along by the unconscious force of their own wounding and pain.

Until we realize this, we will remain prisoners of our grievance, our past, and our victim identity, all of which keep us from opening to the more powerful currents of life and love that are always flowing through the present moment.

From: 8 Zen Master Stories That Illustrate Important Truths
https://thoughtcatalog.com/claudia-a...ortant-truths/
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Old 03-05-2018, 08:07 AM
Status: "The days are getting shorter" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
3,977 posts, read 1,116,597 times
Reputation: 5618
My wife and I walk around our little community and pick up garbage. I've always been a bit offended by trash along the highway, and since we walk anyway, it makes sense to us (well me anyway) to carry a few small grocery bags and one of those grabbers.

I'm pretty sure the people who see us walking around with partially filled garbage bags think we are low income, or even homeless. One guy wanted to give us a bag full of cans thinking we needed the money. We told him we were just picking up trash, but we took the bag anyway!

We are not ditzy, but I'm sure we appear that way.
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Old 03-05-2018, 07:23 PM
 
Location: minnesota
6,348 posts, read 2,124,917 times
Reputation: 2171
I get that a lot. I like it.
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Old 03-05-2018, 07:39 PM
 
13,321 posts, read 25,569,771 times
Reputation: 20505
My 92-year-old aunt has trouble remember names or places. Having worked before retirement with people with end-stage dementia, I try to tell her the adage, "It's not dementia if you can't find your hairbrush. If you put it in the freezer, there might be a problem."

I see it as our mind/computers are full of the years of info/factoids/concerns. To let anything new in, something old gets kicked out. Anyway, I noticed in my 40s that I'd be able to picture, say, a movie star but it would take a few seconds to get their name. Stuff like that, mostly names. Now at 64, it's the same. My father had this going on until his death at 87, and while he voiced annoyance at needing those seconds to remember, I know underneath was a fear of dementia.

Neither my father or my aunt have dementia. I have told my aunt that if I saw signs that concerned me, I would certainly tell her.

It's one reason I just don't find supposed jokes, on this forum or anywhere, about "senior moments" at all funny, or the many "forgetting" jokes on the discussion of the former alcoholic poster who smoked regular MJ. It's just not funny, to me. If it's like whistling past the graveyard for some people, so be it, but I find it crass and think it is rude to anyone who has had to deal with real dementia around them.
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Old 04-11-2018, 10:23 AM
 
6,318 posts, read 3,579,899 times
Reputation: 22111
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightdoglover View Post


It's one reason I just don't find supposed jokes, on this forum or anywhere, about "senior moments" at all funny, or the many "forgetting" jokes on the discussion of the former alcoholic poster who smoked regular MJ. It's just not funny, to me. If it's like whistling past the graveyard for some people, so be it, but I find it crass and think it is rude to anyone who has had to deal with real dementia around them.
We're all so different in our coping mechanisms who can tell what's right for any one individual? In our house when Mom or Dad would say something bizarre at the dinner table everyone would have to look at their plate to keep from making eye contact and giggling. Later we would have a chuckle about it. Otherwise I think it would have made us all cry.

Now they are gone but their decline has been memorialized in a handful of bittersweet stories that still bring a chuckle and a tear now and then.

Maybe joking about it was a way to separate it from the person whom we loved and worried about. I hope I can remain aware enough about myself to have a chuckle about my own mistakes.

My right brain has always worked in overdrive with so many ideas and references flowing through that I can get ten steps ahead of myself. So, with most of my left brain, linear thinking being an unconscious process, I've always looked a little ditzy to people who don't know me.

But I've never worried much about it. I know where I'm going with the flow of ideas and also know I'll get there so they really don't need to track. (And, yes, this issue makes teamwork more difficult but I managed to cope in my work life.)

Being laughed at or dismissed because people don't understand can sting. Each of us has to decide how much weight we want to give that in our lives and how we will balance that with contentment. For me it's usually an issue of ego. That rascal can grow to monstrous size when I'm not paying attention and I need a little deflating now and then so I can allow others to be ditzy too.
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Old 04-11-2018, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,092 posts, read 12,478,899 times
Reputation: 26117
I've been called a lot of things, "ditzy" ain't one of them.
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Old 04-11-2018, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Cebu, Philippines
4,428 posts, read 1,679,997 times
Reputation: 8066
When I walked to the supermarket, I would always buy a pint of store brand butter pecan ice cream, and I carried a spoon with me, and before I walked home with my groceries, I'd sit on the lawn outside the store and eat my ice cream for lunch.

My family was worried about me, that someone in white coats would throw a net over me, and institutionalize me for my own safety.

Now, I feel safe. Here in the Philippines, people are quite used to octogenarian expats walking around.
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Old 04-11-2018, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,592 posts, read 17,582,380 times
Reputation: 27682
A lot of things have been said about me, but ditzy isn't one of them.
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