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Old 03-07-2018, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,602 posts, read 1,312,679 times
Reputation: 4160

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Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4 View Post
Since you mentioned Burnsville, NC, you might want to check out Marion, NC which is just east of Asheville off I-40. It is still a small town but bigger with lovely mountain views. It will have more basic medical and dental options plus grocery stores, services, etc.

My friend's grandmother lived in Burnsville. It is very small and is 40-45 minutes from Asheville down a road that can be difficult driving. That area does get snow and ice. They had to move their grandmother due to lack of medical care. I am just trying to give you some info that might help in your decision, but of course you know what is best for you.
Marion is very nice. Beautiful friendly area. I agree it could be much better choice. Burnsville is higher elevation and gets harsher weather.

 
Old 03-07-2018, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,659 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11922
Quote:
Originally Posted by funisart View Post
Marion is very nice. Beautiful friendly area. I agree it could be much better choice. Burnsville is higher elevation and gets harsher weather.

This is so helpful to me. Yes, I will be looking into Marion. Can always do a road trip to Burnsville. I was wondering about grocery stores, medical, dental, etc. Will certainly need those once I'm living there.
 
Old 03-07-2018, 06:59 AM
 
6,876 posts, read 7,273,507 times
Reputation: 9785
Quote:
Since life holds no guarantees for any of us, how willing are you to take a step without knowing you will step on terra firma vs open space?

How do you decide whether to live a dream vs stay "safe" with what is known to you?
Your first question was a general one....
And people do that every day....deciding between going for a dream or playing it safe.
As someone who's never been married, the first thing I thought of was indeed marriage. People get married every day and I don't care how much they're in love and know it will work out......IMO, no they can't know....it's still a leap of faith.

I would just say that one can't know....BUT one can have PEACE about the decision.
For me, my personality and decision making process is a mental and psychological ordeal. I drive myself crazy with the back and forth, and back and forth, and what if this and what if that. I ask my friends, my family -- heck -- I even ask strangers on CD!!! -- to try to cover all the things I might not have thought of. Sometimes that has gone on for YEARS!!! I debated for FIVE YEARS whether I should give up renting and buy a house. (My friends said, " I can't talk about this with you anymore!")

Again, for me, in the end, after allllll that...... once I finally DO come to a decision......the brainstorming clams......and I have to have peace about the decision. I have to have some confidence that no matter what -- should even the worst happen -- I'll be OK. Given that I'm single usually for me that's money related. So that can mean:
-- I know I have enough money to support myself
-- or I know I have family I can stay with
-- or I have a place to come back to
-- or just that I can live with knowing I went for it -- and it didn't work out (which of course might be easier to believe if those other three are there.)

I'm thinking of making a certain decision right now job-wise. I'm in the wracking by brain and emotions stage. Until I have peace about the situation, I'm staying put. Especially when I'm stepping out on faith.....I need that 'peace' about it. Personally, I can't step out on faith -- AND be a wreck emotionally about it -- whatever 'IT' is.

What is YOUR OWN decision making process like when it comes to your own decisions....I'd imagine you've made major decisions before. How do YOU do that?
 
Old 03-07-2018, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
6,954 posts, read 7,390,042 times
Reputation: 16278
So, if someone doesn't agreed with your decisions you report the post and have it removed because you think it's rude? Where are you going to "rehome" the cats to - not a home but where you got them, right? That's not rehoming them. Now you'd rather have a dog so out with the cats. And when the dog becomes too much work, and they are a lot more work than a cat, then you'll "rehome" the dog?
 
Old 03-07-2018, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,659 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11922
selhars: Loved reading your post. Thank you. Very human, you go through a similar set of emotions that I go through.

I basically do the same thing as you. Start out thinking about it, Googling the area (or idea), talking to people about it.

I also use C-D as a means of hopefully communicating with people who have done similar things, live in the area I am thinking of moving to. I think getting info first hand from people who have "been there, done that" is crucial. If I see a lot of red flags, I know it's not a good idea.

I am single and probably older than you. Have always had a certain amount of courage and willingness to try something new. I have faith in God for guidance and strength. And know that if it all goes wrong, I will still be OK. Might be unhappy for a while but eventually get happy again.

I also remember past experiences that help me with decisions I make today.

Trust yourself.
 
Old 03-07-2018, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,659 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11922
Umbria and other similars out there: I'll pray for you. You obviously need it.
 
Old 03-07-2018, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Asheville NC
1,602 posts, read 1,312,679 times
Reputation: 4160
More on Marion

https://www.romanticasheville.com/marion
 
Old 03-07-2018, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Central NY
4,659 posts, read 3,239,300 times
Reputation: 11922
funisart: Thanks, this is great. Lots of info and pictures.
 
Old 03-07-2018, 08:15 AM
 
6,239 posts, read 4,721,373 times
Reputation: 12778
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
How about civility?? I think these forums are here just for what I posted. Most of us write about stuff like that. But some of you people don't seem to have warm blood in your veins.

Why not post how you did it without all the criticism for how I'm doing?

Looking forward to a post you write about something near and dear to your heart.
What criticism or lack of civility?


I asked what you hoped to accomplish by posting. I have no idea since you seem to be angry and fighting with everyone who is trying to help or expressing an opinion. You seem to be having a bad day. Is everything OK?
 
Old 03-07-2018, 08:24 AM
 
5,097 posts, read 2,484,007 times
Reputation: 4657
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
I would imagine I'll get some interesting answers to this question.

Since life holds no guarantees for any of us, how willing are you to take a step without knowing you will step on terra firma vs open space?

How do you decide whether to live a dream vs stay "safe" with what is known to you?

<respectfully snipped for space>

Your thoughts will be appreciated.
I think there are two types of people: risk takers, and stability seekers. I'm a risk taker. I get bored after roughly five years (I only know this from reflecting on my life) and really can't help myself. I walk away from perfectly good jobs, tenured positions, and good opportunities to find something more interesting and challenging. I have not waited for a secure thing before tossing something away, but I do look for a thread ... not a rope, but a thread ... that I follow in a new direction. Each and every time I have landed squarely on my feet and built new opportunity. I have friends who started a job after school and stayed in that role until retirement. They cannot imagine giving up that security and safety for any reason.

Which type of person are you? If you are not a risk taker, I can understand that it is scary to take the leap, leave all behind, and go where the wind blows you. I can assure you that taking the leap is a bit scary for everyone, but it is also like taking a really deep breath of fresh air. If all you see in your future is more of the same, and the same is like being one of the walking dead, then I would encourage you to cautiously look to make change.

Making the decision should be nothing more than looking at your current life through the lens of optimism, and at an alternate life with the same lens. Which makes you feel more alive? Which life would you want to live if you only had one month to live? Also consider that life if you needed palliative care, and where you would receive the best care. That is, think in terms of short and long term outcomes (6 months, 2 years, 5 years).

Don't do anything radical, take small steps. If I were in your position, I would first scope out new places to live. Find a place that has what you want. For example, where is the nearest hospital, theatre, airport, coffee shop and does the pace of life suit you, stuff like that. Spend a couple of weeks in your preferred place to see how it feels. If you wanted to work part-time, what opportunities are available. Pick the right place, then find the right accommodation. Take the plunge and pay the rent. Give notice on your current place, toss out extra stuff, pack up, do it. Each small step will be a bit scary, but one foot in front of the other, and within a few months you'll be living that other life. At that point, don't look back. Don't compare the new life to the old one - nothing to gain in that.

Good luck with it.
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