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I am always curious how men get around as a single person - eating alone in a nice place, go to movies, travel. Do they feel lonely? Worry about safety? Miss having someone to share the experience with? Do they get asked if they are alone, and what do they say, how do they feel?
Single men, please share your experience and offer us some tips!
Think this would be better in a separate thread, as to not take away from the discussions here already.
Saying that, lonely is more of if the single male is an introvert or not, and how much. I have been single for three years now, and loving it. I travel a fair amount, and as far as safety, I am not as concerned as a female would be, but one should always be cognizant of the surroundings. It can be dangerous no matter who you are. We all are "easier prey" as we age. Never been asked why I was alone though.
I started traveling at about 23 when I drove out to Colorado for the first time from Cincinnati.
All told I have driven from Colorado to Miami Fl, Bloomington IN to Montreal, Cincinnati to Johnson City TN, Johnson City to Salina Kansas, Salina Kansas to Bloomington IN, some more than once.
I recall when I was in my 20s sitting in a restaurant where I was close to two old ladies (probably my age now) and they remarked how THEY would never eat in a restaurant ALL BY THEMSELVES! Lord, I do not know if it was intended for me to hear but I thought that was one of the rudest things to pass my way!
I had the attitude at a very young age that if I didn't do things as a single I most likely would not get to do them AT ALL!
I recall a couple of guys who were outside a movie theatre when I approached the door to go in. They remarked in mock horror....you aren't going in there by your self are you! I said...Yep, you bet I am!
Same with bars....I almost always went out by myself. Got a lot more attention that way!
Thinking about doing a road trip with my dog to the Carolinas. Beautiful area.
Lived out west so I don't think I'll go there.
New Orleans for jazz and the oysters, Chicago for theatre, Rochester Mayo for conferences, Miami for love, Wyoming (the stars, the stars!), Niagra Falls for the Falls, Vermont for the best pancakes and hiking, Maine for sailing, Scotland, England for family and the castles, Ashville NC for the Biltmore, Red River Gorge KY for the hiking, Colorado Rocky Mountains for the camping and hiking, Montreal for the French!, yep those were fun!
Want to go to Costa Rica for the nature....that will be my big expensive trip.
otherwise I'll do it on the cheap. Me and my dog.
I always say...a dog is better than a gun!
These single women tours are for the well heeled. To rich for my blood. Anyway there are a gazillion hostels all over which is my preferred stay now that I am again single without the ex coming along and complaining all the way (grin).
Oh, I forgot...San Diego for the zoo and the seals on the boardwalk. Flew in there when the ex was out there on a job about a gazillion times through Las Vegas...fun flight....everybody going to Vegas
Then there was Las Vegas but I went with friends same with Mexico.
Think this would be better in a separate thread, as to not take away from the discussions here already.
Saying that, lonely is more of if the single male is an introvert or not, and how much. I have been single for three years now, and loving it. I travel a fair amount, and as far as safety, I am not as concerned as a female would be, but one should always be cognizant of the surroundings. It can be dangerous no matter who you are. We all are "easier prey" as we age. Never been asked why I was alone though.
Mark
Ditto to everything you stated. As a single male in his late 50s, I'm not the least bit lonely. I actually like going places by myself or with just a friend or two, it makes no difference to me. I also like doing things for myself and not relying on someone else to do it for me.
To me, it makes a difference that I'm not in a relationship that I am traveling solo from. That is, if traveling alone because one's partner can't/doesn't want to/whatever go, it's very different (for me) than being alone because there's no one in the world that is my partner. I find that makes me want to take care of myself the way I do best, which is being home with my dogs with a sense of home and belonging.
It's a major reason why I don't think I'll be traveling much. Maybe if my retirement home in mountain Colorado gets boring, I'll think of travel. There are a few places I have thought to go, but just haven't felt like making the effort. Maybe part of that is the ongoing exhaustion from stress and night shifts, but my passport has expired and I'll only get it renewed if I get invigorated about leaving my new home.
I realized I should move to Colorado when it was the only place I went to the trouble of traveling to. Japan and Iceland are on the back burner, I have no interest in Hamburg although a dear friend lives there, and another old friend is living half the retired year in a different major city in the world. At least that was their plan last I heard.
Lots of work travel solo (and often mixed with pleasure) - NYC, SF, LA, San Diego, Houston, Austin, DC, Miami. Plus, France 3x, Belgium, Ireland, Brazil 2x, New Zealand 5x, most of the trips solo, but after the first trip each, I had new friends to go back and see. Only organized trip I’ve done was a bike tour tour in France.
Think this would be better in a separate thread, as to not take away from the discussions here already.
Saying that, lonely is more of if the single male is an introvert or not, and how much. I have been single for three years now, and loving it. I travel a fair amount, and as far as safety, I am not as concerned as a female would be, but one should always be cognizant of the surroundings. It can be dangerous no matter who you are. We all are "easier prey" as we age. Never been asked why I was alone though.
Mark
Oh I don't think we need a separate thread. Men have always traveled alone, go to a bar, get a drink, dine in a nice restaurant with ease. Many single women have trepidation doing that, including me although I am married. But my spouse and I do not always agree on where we want to go and and I have done it anyway by myself if he does not choose to go. But I am never comfortable, feel a bit self-conscious, because you can look around and see you the only single woman. Single women come in groups, but not alone. What is the difference where men do it without thinking and women have to plan so much? Definitely a topic for single retired women, I think.
I wish we had enough ladies to support a thread on Retirement to discuss single women issues similar to Brightdoglover's "Retirement" adventure. There are so many personal and financial issues we face as women retiring alone. Most posts on threads its "we, we, we,we".
Oh I don't think we need a separate thread. Men have always traveled alone, go to a bar, get a drink, dine in a nice restaurant with ease. Many single women have trepidation doing that, including me although I am married. But my spouse and I do not always agree on where we want to go and and I have done it anyway by myself if he does not choose to go. But I am never comfortable, feel a bit self-conscious, because you can look around and see you the only single woman. Single women come in groups, but not alone. What is the difference where men do it without thinking and women have to plan so much? Definitely a topic for single retired women, I think.
Any case, thank you for sharing.
Don't take this as derogatory, but I think it comes down to the difference between male/female. How we were brought up, and the differences of that through history.
Don't take this as derogatory, but I think it comes down to the difference between male/female. How we were brought up, and the differences of that through history.
Mark
pretty much agree. Maybe a topic on the non-romantic relationship thread or the psychology thread. I don't think it's specific to retired single women.
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