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I think the use of the word "chase" to me conjures up an image of folks willing to give up their life , desperately clinging and perhaps dependent on their children. I know my son has asked me repeatedly to move to his state so he can be closer by if I need him. He's only 2 hours away by car and I'm only 59. I don't like his state I would be incredibly bored. I looked into it but it doesn't have the amenities that I like in my area has; even if it is more retirement friendly tax wise.
Some families are closer than others, I would think a person would not move to be close to children before discussing it thoroughly with their children and their children's spouses. If they indeed are chasing, uninvited by the children, that just seems wrong.
Flooding does not occur in the slow-current stretch near the house. In addition, our house is on a rare plateau around 50' above the river so there is absolutely no chance of flooding. It has a concrete staircase behind the house down to the river bank and a gentle slope driveway to the river along one side of the house. We plan to put two floating docks, one for fishing and one for launching my shell and kayak/boats. Access to rowing is one of my main criteria for relocation.
That's really very convenient and great for your rowing!! could not be better!! and kayaking, if you wish to.
I envy those who have a wonderful big family that all live within 10 miles of your house. But for most of us it is not the case in this day and age. I do have one friend to whom that is the case.
If we wanted to live near family we'd have to chose South Dakota, Texas, Hawaii, Arizona, Nevada, Wisconsin or Washington. Just how it is in 2018. So we are not going to chase our kids, but rather continue to build our life where we live. To those who want to chase there kids, I wish you the best, but don't find yourself at the end of the day in a strange town alone, when the chosen kids/grandkids leave for the next job opportunity again. This is not 1940
It can be a blessing or a curse.
Outside of one grandmother, one aunt, one uncle, and my parents, I'm not all that close to the rest of the family. My dad's parents are still alive, but I haven't seen him since January and her since Christmas. We weren't close growing up due to their criminality (both have long records). He has over a dozen DUIs between TN, FL, and VA, and other felonies over the years, some violent, some not. She doesn't drink, but has a record on other things, including felonies. They cheated on each other numerous times, and there are "half-siblings" on both sides out there.
My parents didn't want me to grow up around them. I don't have anything against them, but you just can't get back all that lost time. It's really a damn shame because Grandpa is honestly a decent guy once you get to know him and when he's not drinking. The bottle has been a struggle for many of us in the family, including myself.
I have at least half a dozen first cousins here I never talk to and have no contact with outside of Facebook. Again, no bad blood, but our paths never crossed. We're way different people. I actually have a lot of similar interests with an older cousin of mine I never knew well growing up. I met him at the pizza parlor last Friday night, but he had to leave in a hurry to bring food home to the wife and kids. We've always been into similar music. It's a shame we were never acquainted earlier. My cousin has introduced me to other people in town with similar interests.
A lot of times I miss the anonymity of a major city and my last name not being well known. I sometimes miss being able to go into a local lunch spot and the clerk not saying "Oh, hi SC, would you like that sandwich with jalapenos, onions, banana peppers, spicy mustard, oregano, and black pepper?" I can't just blend into a crowd here. My family name is unique and well-known. I'm personally well-known in a lot of spots.
For us the decision to not relocate to be near grandkids was easy. Our kids live in San Fran, one of the most expensive places to live.
So we see grandkids frequently using Facetime; in fact our 4 year old granddaughter can call us herself on Facetime. She knows which icon calls grandma.
Also, it's easy to just drive to DIA and hop on a 2 hour flight to visit. Luckily our kids have a spare bedroom.
When we were in our late 20s and had virtually every free weekend dominated by my mother in law, we moved 1000 miles away to gain some privacy. It worked.
Realize that your own kids need to live their own lives.
The first set of friends to chase after their kids and grandkids in retirement moved yesterday. Will be interesting/worrisome to see how many other long term residents (30+ years) in our neighborhood will be doing the same. The neighborhood support system may start unraveling.
We 'think' they sold their home to their nearly 40 year old single son who had been living with them for the past 4-5 years, as there was never a For Sale sign in their yard. They kept the whole move very quiet until the moving vans showed up late last week.
I'm not sure what the big deal is. I imagine a lot of people do this if the situation works out for them and the kids are in a stable place. After 30 years in a neighborhood, a move can be a nice jumpstart too.
Sometimes people don't like others to comment on, or second guess, their life decisions. It can be annoying if you tell your friends your plans to move to a certain area (say where your child and grandchildren live) and then the friend starts asking you a bunch of questions like "and what if your son moves again? are you going to move again and chase him around the country?" Typically, these are questions that the individual has already asked himself, and answered, at home, with their spouse, taking all the other relevant facts into consideration. These decisions aren't made in a vacuum. And you (OP) aren't privy to all the necessary facts to come to a conclusion about whether this decision is best for your neighbors. I'm sure it wasn't made in haste, or without due consideration. I can see why some people don't tell their neighbors all their business. They don't want to hear a bunch of negative nellies chiming in with their opinions about their neighbors' life decisions.
Sometimes people don't like others to comment on, or second guess, their life decisions. It can be annoying if you tell your friends your plans to move to a certain area (say where your child and grandchildren live) and then the friend starts asking you a bunch of questions like "and what if your son moves again? are you going to move again and chase him around the country?" Typically, these are questions that the individual has already asked himself, and answered, at home, with their spouse, taking all the other relevant facts into consideration. These decisions aren't made in a vacuum. And you (OP) aren't privy to all the necessary facts to come to a conclusion about whether this decision is best for your neighbors. I'm sure it wasn't made in haste, or without due consideration. I can see why some people don't tell their neighbors all their business. They don't want to hear a bunch of negative nellies chiming in with their opinions about their neighbors' life decisions.
I do wonder why the neighbours are supposed to be told or expect to have a say on other people’s life decisions.
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