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I didn't ask my parents to keep working and delay their retirement to put me through school. I joined the Army, earned credits while on active duty and earned something called the Veterans Educational Assistance (VEAP) by investing $1 into the program and the Army (Gov't) put in $2 matching. I also attended community college where tuition is cheaper. I also worked a thankless job to supplement my VEA-program. Not sure why parents have fund post-high school education for their adult kids.
Builds character when they (kids) have to find their way though the maze of life, imo.
I didn't ask my parents either, they considered it part of their responsibilities as a parent. they wanted the absolute best for their kids and in their mind that included college education.
I had to fund my own education.
My father, like so many young men of his generation, lied about his age & joined the Navy the day after Pearl Harbor (indeed, he was on a Destroyer in the Pacific that was hit by a Kamikaze, killing many US serviceman). Years later, he died unexpectedly when I was 12 years old, leaving behind an uneducated widow ill-prepared to be a head-of-household (she grew up in a rural agricultural area - with quite literally and without exaggeration - neither electricity nor indoor plumbing), my older high-functioning autistic brother, my younger severely mentally retarded sister, and me. And a pile of debts with no assets to speak of.
I grew up quickly. Being too young for a work permit, I resorted to hustling to earn money to supplement Mom's meager earnings. I don't mean anything illegal - but anything where someone needed unskilled labor such as mowing lawns, cleaning out garages, cleaning trash cans, washing cars, washing windows, etc. Anything to make a buck, and I turned it over to Mom. Fortunately, Mom made me put half into a passbook savings account at a savings & loan and I got to see compounding in action. If I recall correctly, interest was 5.25%.
I went on to earn scholarships to help pay for college and grad school, and worked while in school. Ultimately, I went on to be named inventor on several patents and rose to manage technical innovation at some name-brand Fortune 100 companies -- all the while partially supporting my aging mom & brother (my sister died less than a year after my father). Mom's now 90 years old; my autistic brother is 65. I bought them a house to live in in a 55+ age restricted community 10 minutes from my primary home, and partially support them. Mom has a small county pension. When she passes, I'll fully support my brother. While he's high functioning autistic, he's never been employable.
We have a wonderful daughter who suffers from from severe medical problems that interfered with academics. I still remember the Chief of Pediatric Cardiology at Stanford Children's Hospital telling my wife & me, "I promise you we will do everything in our power to prevent your daughter from dying today." Despite her medical issues, she went on to graduate from an Ivy League school (and no, she's not a legacy).
I paid for her college completely. With her medical issues, there is no way she could have both worked & gone to college. In my judgment, she already had gone through many character-building experiences. Ivy tuition plus room and board is not cheap. When she picked up her diploma, she said to me "you know, for a quarter million dollars, you'd at least think they could frame the damn thing."
I was financially successful -- successful enough that there was no financial aid for our daughter. Successful enough that I could semi-retire at 40 and fully retire before 50. There are academic scholarships and faculty chairs that I've funded. Yes, I'm financially secure. I do consider myself fortunate, but not lucky.
And I would trade every penny of financial success if it would bring back my dad.
We all make choices, and those choices shape our lives.
As an aside, a good number of us have no interest at all in 'throwing dinner parties', even when we DO know how to cook (I do know how) and even though we know it's a nice thing to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
I wholeheartedly agree with you here. Being social costs money. Most of the younger retirees IMO didn't socialize a lot and probably skipped a lot of social events to save their money.
Mrs. SportyandMisty loves to cook and entertain. We throw dinner parties all the time. Most guests always offer to bring something.
We also like to host charity fundraising events where we might have 50 to 100 people in attendance. Target charities have included the National Ability Center, The ARC (formerly the Association for Retarded Citizens), and The Organization for Autism Research. These events are catered.
My father, like so many young men of his generation, lied about his age & joined the Navy the day after Pearl Harbor (indeed, he was on a Destroyer in the Pacific that was hit by a Kamikaze, killing many US serviceman). Years later, he died unexpectedly when I was 12 years old, leaving behind an uneducated widow ill-prepared to be a head-of-household (she grew up in a rural agricultural area - with quite literally and without exaggeration - neither electricity nor indoor plumbing), my older high-functioning autistic brother, my younger severely mentally retarded sister, and me. And a pile of debts with no assets to speak of.
I grew up quickly. Being too young for a work permit, I resorted to hustling to earn money to supplement Mom's meager earnings. I don't mean anything illegal - but anything where someone needed unskilled labor such as mowing lawns, cleaning out garages, cleaning trash cans, washing cars, washing windows, etc. Anything to make a buck, and I turned it over to Mom. Fortunately, Mom made me put half into a passbook savings account at a savings & loan and I got to see compounding in action. If I recall correctly, interest was 5.25%.
I went on to earn scholarships to help pay for college and grad school, and worked while in school. Ultimately, I went on to be named inventor on several patents and rose to manage technical innovation at some name-brand Fortune 100 companies -- all the while partially supporting my aging mom & brother (my sister died less than a year after my father). Mom's now 90 years old; my autistic brother is 65. I bought them a house to live in in a 55+ age restricted community 10 minutes from my primary home, and partially support them. Mom has a small county pension. When she passes, I'll fully support my brother. While he's high functioning autistic, he's never been employable.
We have a wonderful daughter who suffers from from severe medical problems that interfered with academics. I still remember the Chief of Pediatric Cardiology at Stanford Children's Hospital telling my wife & me, "I promise you we will do everything in our power to prevent your daughter from dying today." Despite her medical issues, she went on to graduate from an Ivy League school (and no, she's not a legacy).
I paid for her college completely. With her medical issues, there is no way she could have both worked & gone to college. In my judgment, she already had gone through many character-building experiences. Ivy tuition plus room and board is not cheap. When she picked up her diploma, she said to me "you know, for a quarter million dollars, you'd at least think they could frame the damn thing."
I was financially successful -- successful enough that there was no financial aid for our daughter. Successful enough that I could semi-retire at 40 and fully retire before 50. There are academic scholarships and faculty chairs that I've funded. Yes, I'm financially secure. I do consider myself fortunate, but not lucky.
And I would trade every penny of financial success if it would bring back my dad.
We all make choices, and those choices shape our lives.
You're a wealthy guy stemming from Silicon Valley. You have to remember that you've likely had intellectual advantages over virtually everyone you grew up with, and maybe over anyone outside your professional life, which is a pretty exclusive club.
I've been able to deduce a lot from your posts. You have a lot to be proud of. You're likely in the 5% intellectually. The vast majority of society doesn't have the intellectual horsepower to achieve a fraction of what you have, regardless of their starting position.
Some people are frugal by choice and some are frugal by circumstance. One may not be able to socialize because they can't afford the cost while others may forego socializing in order to save for things like .....early retirement.
frugal people socialize too... that's what I don't understand, you can socialize for basically no cost, or at least no more cost that what you would be doing with your spare time anyway
socializing is not a "rich" person's affair, it's how it's done that takes money not the act of socializing
frugal people socialize too... that's what I don't understand, you can socialize for basically no cost, or at least no more cost that what you would be doing with your spare time anyway
socializing is not a "rich" person's affair, it's how it's done that takes money not the act of socializing
One thing we like to do is play various card games and games using dominoes. Pot luck for dinner. 4 couples.
frugal people socialize too... that's what I don't understand, you can socialize for basically no cost, or at least no more cost that what you would be doing with your spare time anyway
socializing is not a "rich" person's affair, it's how it's done that takes money not the act of socializing
I agree there are plenty ways to socialize without spending money or as little money as possible. We have happy hours at home and pot lucks where everyone brings a different food and drink to share. We host game nights. Have group outings at the beach and play dates at local parks with our kids. Volunteer at our church and other local events. Go to free concerts in town and pack a picnic basket to share.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
34,705 posts, read 58,042,598 times
Reputation: 46172
Quote:
Originally Posted by PSLCarPool
I agree there are plenty ways to socialize without spending money or as little money as possible. ...
or do the 'ultimate' frugal thing to cut your social expenses .. work the Social Suicide Shift (evenings) during your earning yrs. Also Work weekend evenings just to polish off all your opportunities to SPEND on socializing!.
First and foremost... get rid of the idea you (or your family) need to please / 'keep-up' with anyone.
We did a lot of the church / camping / community fundraiser things, and community potlucks and ice cream / soup socials at our house (every sunday night!). I can't think of ANYTHING significant we spent $$ on 'socializing'. The LAST movie ticket I bought for was "Raider of the Lost Ark" (!982?) I fell asleep during the boulder rolling down the chute and slept through the rest of the movie., so DS refused to spend another dime for me to SLEEP at the movies....
We spent WAY too much on Wanderlust, but.. it was / is a priority (moreso than retiring... )
My father, like so many young men of his generation, lied about his age & joined the Navy the day after Pearl Harbor (indeed, he was on a Destroyer in the Pacific that was hit by a Kamikaze, killing many US serviceman). Years later, he died unexpectedly when I was 12 years old, leaving behind an uneducated widow ill-prepared to be a head-of-household (she grew up in a rural agricultural area - with quite literally and without exaggeration - neither electricity nor indoor plumbing), my older high-functioning autistic brother, my younger severely mentally retarded sister, and me. And a pile of debts with no assets to speak of.
I grew up quickly. Being too young for a work permit, I resorted to hustling to earn money to supplement Mom's meager earnings. I don't mean anything illegal - but anything where someone needed unskilled labor such as mowing lawns, cleaning out garages, cleaning trash cans, washing cars, washing windows, etc. Anything to make a buck, and I turned it over to Mom. Fortunately, Mom made me put half into a passbook savings account at a savings & loan and I got to see compounding in action. If I recall correctly, interest was 5.25%.
I went on to earn scholarships to help pay for college and grad school, and worked while in school. Ultimately, I went on to be named inventor on several patents and rose to manage technical innovation at some name-brand Fortune 100 companies -- all the while partially supporting my aging mom & brother (my sister died less than a year after my father). Mom's now 90 years old; my autistic brother is 65. I bought them a house to live in in a 55+ age restricted community 10 minutes from my primary home, and partially support them. Mom has a small county pension. When she passes, I'll fully support my brother. While he's high functioning autistic, he's never been employable.
We have a wonderful daughter who suffers from from severe medical problems that interfered with academics. I still remember the Chief of Pediatric Cardiology at Stanford Children's Hospital telling my wife & me, "I promise you we will do everything in our power to prevent your daughter from dying today." Despite her medical issues, she went on to graduate from an Ivy League school (and no, she's not a legacy).
I paid for her college completely. With her medical issues, there is no way she could have both worked & gone to college. In my judgment, she already had gone through many character-building experiences. Ivy tuition plus room and board is not cheap. When she picked up her diploma, she said to me "you know, for a quarter million dollars, you'd at least think they could frame the damn thing."
I was financially successful -- successful enough that there was no financial aid for our daughter. Successful enough that I could semi-retire at 40 and fully retire before 50. There are academic scholarships and faculty chairs that I've funded. Yes, I'm financially secure. I do consider myself fortunate, but not lucky.
And I would trade every penny of financial success if it would bring back my dad.
We all make choices, and those choices shape our lives.
Not at all. I have nothing to sell. Just curious if anyone else is out there like us.
I have a young friend in his mid-30s who made a bunch of money, a fortune, in some .com company. He retired more or less and lives in a big house in the country with few neighbors. He spends his money buying useless things, mostly sight-unseen off the internet. He is usually inebriated by about 11 AM -- alcohol, not drugs. Some friends sponge off of him and he tends to encourage it. He seems to think that $$$ will keep his friends around. Some of his friends are worried about him.
I have a young friend in his mid-30s who made a bunch of money, a fortune, in some .com company. He retired more or less and lives in a big house in the country with few neighbors. He spends his money buying useless things, mostly sight-unseen off the internet. He is usually inebriated by about 11 AM -- alcohol, not drugs. Some friends sponge off of him and he tends to encourage it. He seems to think that $$$ will keep his friends around. Some of his friends are worried about him.
Sounds sort of like the frequent news stories I read about lottery winners go broke.
And also the proverb Idle hands are the devil's workshop.
When retired early it's best to have all kinds of hobbies, interests other than spending money on things and drinking alcohol. Sounds like he has underlying issues and isn't the typical 'early retiree'.
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