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I'm just approaching mine (later this year) and am already feeling performance anxiety from those promising that my retirement will be "amazing" because theirs is. The pervasive attitude seems to be that of prisoners let out of jail after serving a long sentence at hard labor or lottery winners whose every dream will now come true. Like with every aspect of life now, there seems to be a running competition on social media with every retiree claiming to have a more "amazing" retirement than the next retiree, many of them blogging or posting their "amazing" adventures on You Tube as if anyone cares to follow. It's almost as if one must become a "star."
I actually don't anticipate that my retirement will be all that "amazing." I don't loath and despise my job or my daily routine and am not counting the minutes and suffering until it ends. I haven't deferred all pleasure and adventure until retirement, instead making the most of my time off work to pursue my hobbies and goals. Like all transitions to different stages of life, I'm expecting it to be a challenging adjustment -- not necessarily an effortless one -- and will bring both good and bad changes to my life. Parts of it I look forward to and other parts I'm anxious about. I know there will be new things to enjoy, but also things lost that I will miss about my working life. And I wish people would quit telling me "You will absolutely love it!!!" because it's overkill. Can't anyone just ease into it quietly anymore?
OP, once you get over the anxiety you should be fine. I retired from a very well paying job just a year ago this month. Before I retired I drove myself crazy with anxiety, doing one endless budget after another. I had reached the peak of my career and was earning more money that I ever thought I would (I was also the primary breadwinner as my husband had been downsized twice and we eventually decided it wasn't worth it for him to continue working). But I was stressed and overwhelmed with the responsibilities of my job and I felt like life was passing me by, waking up at 5:30 am daily and returning home at dark.
The first week I think I spent sleeping like 12 hours a day, and little by little, I got into a routine that is actually no routine but works for me. Although I now earn less than a third of what I was making, between DH and I retirement income we still manage to travel a little bit. We had a post retirement cruise planned and paid for last June and a birthday trip to Spain for my husband, also paid ahead of time, when we were both working. Since that time, no more big trips but several road trips, which I am enjoying immensely.
I brought home a puppy (crazy, impulsive idea but I love him), we babysit the grands several times a month. I take a 1 hour walk daily with the pup and I have gotten to know neighbors I didn't even know I had. We visit with family a lot, I do a lot of reading and I just signed up to volunteer with my church. Honestly, some days I just spend home absolutely all day, leaving only to walk our dog.
But it is a WONDERFUL retirement and by that I mean that I set my own schedule, and do what I want to do when I want to. Other than appointments I DON'T have to be anywhere at a set time. It is a very freeing experience.
Another thing I did was QUIT Facebook altogether. Those pictures of retired individuals having amazing adventures all the time was misleading and can make you wonder what you are doing wrong and not traveling all the time.
Find something that works for you. I honestly did not have a difficult time with an adjustment which surprised me as I had worked at the same location over 30 years and was very well respected. I look back with no regrets. Good luck to you, once you adjust, I don't doubt you will enjoy it.
They start a new business, go back to college, they take up flying, or hike the Appalachian trail , ride in a hot air balloon, become instagram fashion icons etc etc
I am sure plenty people didn’t wait until retirement to do many of these things .
Go back to college seems like an odd choice and BTW starting to fly gets real expensive for insurance past a certain age. I know a guy that has had jets for years (he flys them). He has been a pilot for over 50 years and after age 70 the insurance got real expensive. He sold the jet.....
Stop reading about people having amazing adventures in retirement.
I mean, no one really wants to read about sitting around watching birds, which is why you don't see blogs like that as much.
It's like they don't make movies of just plain ol happy people, with no conflict, just doing the "life" thing.... it would be boring to watch.
All you have to do is be concerned with whether or not YOU are happy with whatever you do.
But all those financial planning ads show all the cool stuff! Sailing, vinyards, golfing!
Tale of 2 retirements (both uncles, both wealthy):
#1 retired early 50's- Self employed. Sold a couple very successful businesses. Age now 64. Has a very nice retirement, plays golf at exclusive clubs, travels 2-3 times a year to Europe. Not a huge spender, lives on the ocean in a place he has owned for 20+ years. Very health conscious.
#2- retired at 60 from CEO position (one of the largest construction/engineering firms in the world). Worked there for almost 40 yrs. Built a huge house, built a yacht to travel the east coast/Carribean. Quickly realized the house/yacht were costing him 1mm+ a year to own yet he could only really use one at a time. Sold both shortly thereafter. Not real health conscious, would rather have a good time/life of the party kind of guy. Died very unexpectantly at 71 after spending a night in the hospital.
Two different ways to go.......one worked better than the other! Both great guys that experienced life at different paces.
Last edited by City Guy997S; 04-22-2018 at 05:29 PM..
But all those financial planning ads show all the cool stuff! Sailing, vinyards, golfing!
That's fine if that's what you want to do, but if you don't, and you're happy, who cares what other people are doing?
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This is a good observation. And keep observing. It can't and won't be all roses and sunshine. Maybe they see it as one last hurrah before they end up in a nursing home? Gotta give it one last go?
That was funny.. and true.
But honestly, no matter how awesome it can be, it all ends badly... and you know it.
At some point, you'll let everything but that which you value most, go.
And then that will go.
Till then, live like you'll die tomorrow,.. and dream like you'll live forever.
Last edited by PamelaIamela; 04-22-2018 at 07:17 PM..
What others choose to do in their retirement has nothing to do with you. You get to choose what you want to do. Your retirement doesn't have to look anything like anyone else's retirement. You do not have to answer to anyone for your retirement choices.
If anyone tries to shame you for your retirement choices or criticize you or berate you or try to persuade you to do something you don't want to do, you are free to drop that person from your acquaintance.
Do not try to justify your choices or offer any explanation. It's no one's business what you chose to do. Any attempt at an explanation would simply be seen as an opening for rebuttal. You don't need their approval, and you don't owe them an explanation.
You're retired. Do what you want. Other people can do what they want, but they can't tell you what to do, and they don't have any right to make you feel bad about whatever it is you choose to do.
A nonfiction book just came out that addresses this topic---that living a full life is one that has lots of space and time for solitude, quiet, inactivity, and just experiencing the not amazing according to social media but in reality so incredibly aspects of daily life and the environment and our bodies and minds:
The author calls it The Art of the wasted Day. In reality she thinks that a life of simple leisure is anything but wasted and is truly the most meaningful and enjoyable way of living:
“How about just giving up? Giving up the habit of struggle. Maybe it’s a matter of giving over. To what? Perhaps what an earlier age called ‘the life of the mind,’ that phrase I fastened on to describe the sovereign self at ease, at home in the world when I decided to embrace that key occasion of sin — the daydream. Happiness redefined as looking out the window and taking things in — not pursuing them.”
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