What will you do after you lose your spouse? (long-term, depression, relatives)

[johngolf]

Originally Posted by Gerania

Pox on you. Well, maybe.

Avoid widowers at all costs. They may seem nice and say that they're handy, but they just want someone to clean the bathroom, do their laundry, and grocery shop.

See how that works?

I have a maid service to do those things. My lady friend does other things for me though.......LOL

[NewbieHere]

Originally Posted by Cabound1

Rossmoor is great - I live near there and know many residents. It’s monthly charges are high, but the sale prices, because of limited demand, are quite a bit lower than non-55+ condos, thus lowering property taxes.

Cabound, this is where you posted you live, near Rossmoor, Walnut Creek. So why deny it?

[Tominftl]

You can get a mail order bride.

[MichiganGreg]

Originally Posted by Tominftl

You can get a mail order bride.

Yea, have them shipped via Amazon Prime. Get a dozen.

[Mayvenne]

So what prompted this thread which it looks like was last replied in May - and now this morning is an ongoing conversation. Love the unexpected here!
Honestly I notice the site is relatively quiet these days and I am looking to procrastinate here. So this is all helpful and new and fresh.
(enjoying the ride)

[athena53]

Originally Posted by joee5

Statistically it appears my wife will outlive me so I hope she'll enjoy all the memories we shared together. And she'll be pretty well off financially to live out the rest of her days with no worries.

That's pretty much my life. DH was 15 years older and I knew I was likely to outlive him. He died of acute myeloid leukemia 2 years ago at age 78- a good run and we had so many wonderful memories from our travels. I was actually the one who brought more money and a high-earning job into the marriage (I was 50, he was 65) and money is not a problem.

I'm enjoying life now so much that there are times I feel guilty although DH wouldn't want that. I continue to travel and have spread little bits of DH's ashes in a few places in the US as well as in Iceland, India, France, Scotland, the Panama Canal and Costa Rica. (That was the plan, which he also liked.) I have plenty of outside activities, I'm in better physical condition than I have been in years (healthy eating, daily gym workouts) and my grandchildren are a joy. I love the house DH and I chose together.

I visit a board for widows and widowers (WidowedVillage) and so many are having a terrible time- even years later. There are a lot of factors: sudden death, death at a tragically young age, losing someone you've been with for 50 years... it's partly how you're wired and partly your circumstances.

[MI-Roger]

My wife is three years younger than me, so statistically speaking I will not outlive her.


My challenge is determining the optimum point to retire which will hit the sweet spot of:

• Maximizing our post-retirement years together, while
• Ensuring her sufficient income for a financially comfortable existence after my death

Retiring too early or too late will increase one but could devastate the other. Who the heck stole the instruction book for this important life decision?

[brightdoglover]

I would like to be in a position to have someone to miss (terminally single). I have always been alone and have certainly mined it out as a way to learn and grow.

[Girl]

I will not remarry if I lose my spouse. One and done for me.

[fluffythewondercat]

^You said that earlier in the thread. You must really mean it.

Since April, my pulmonologist had a heart-to-heart with me and explained that unless I fail to keep up with the treatment regimen, that which ails me will not kill me. So I might survive my spouse after all.

Would I get married again if I lost him? I dunno. I'm kind of used to having somebody around who doesn't listen to me, so maybe I should look for a guy who carries ear plugs.