Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why would anyone expect senior citizens to behave differently than any other demographic? Medicare and social security doesn’t usher seniors into a land of magical things and fairy dust where everyone becomes wise and kind. They are still the imperfect people they always were.
I have lived in apartment complexes for almost all my life. The worst bullying I have seen in any of these was among young couples who were just horrible to the single tenants. There was a sort of hierarchy among the marrieds in which they felt they were entitled to the best parking spots, the laundry facilities more often than their assigned days and always first dibs on the common areas for parties and what-not.
They were most rude to the few elderly tenants. At the time I was newly divorced and in my thirties. I was really shocked at this snobbery. Fortunately, it was not like that in other places I’ve lived.
While I do see some of the grumpiness in my senior complex, I just pretty much avoid it. Sometimes people try to take advantage of others but those are usually the ones who are just miserable with their lives and take it out on the world.
That’s not always an age issue though. There is an age range of 62 to 92. Some of the 90’s are as cheerful and sweet as can be. Some of the 60’s are old curmudgeons. As at any time in your life, you just have pick and choose your company carefully.
I go to a big church with enough people to have all kinds of functions during the week. I'm leaving for a 100 people senors group in a hour, it's 8:16 here. Everyone is friendly and nice.
I have lived in apartment complexes for almost all my life. The worst bullying I have seen in any of these was among young couples who were just horrible to the single tenants. There was a sort of hierarchy among the marrieds in which they felt they were entitled to the best parking spots, the laundry facilities more often than their assigned days and always first dibs on the common areas for parties and what-not.
They were most rude to the few elderly tenants. At the time I was newly divorced and in my thirties. I was really shocked at this snobbery. Fortunately, it was not like that in other places I’ve lived.
While I do see some of the grumpiness in my senior complex, I just pretty much avoid it. Sometimes people try to take advantage of others but those are usually the ones who are just miserable with their lives and take it out on the world.
That’s not always an age issue though. There is an age range of 62 to 92. Some of the 90’s are as cheerful and sweet as can be. Some of the 60’s are old curmudgeons. As at any time in your life, you just have pick and choose your company carefully.
I thank the good Lord every day I don't live in an apartment complex and hopefully never will.
I thank the good Lord every day I don't live in an apartment complex and hopefully never will.
“Thank the good Lord?” For what? As if it were a punishment? That’s just ridiculous. I ran into that just one time out of the various apartment complexes in which I’ve lived over the years. All others were just fine. I know of people who have lived in houses who had far worse neighbors than I ever had in any of my apartment complexes.
Also, the one time I rented a SDH for a year I felt isolated and lonely. I was happy to get back into an apartment when my lease was up.
It’s not the structure you live in, it’s the people in the structures who live around you that’s important.
Yep, this is true. I'm in my 3rd low income senior apartment building, and I hope to stay in this one until they haul me off with dementia to assisted living. But, what I've learned is not to socialize where I live. Learned the hard way in the last two places I lived.
The key is to socialize somewhere else, but not in your building. That way, if things are weird at the senior center or where you're volunteering, etc., you can go home to your haven. But, if things go wrong in your building, you no longer have a haven.
Plus, you can end up with people knocking on your door at all hours, you get sucked into the drama, etc. And it's really common for the drama queens and the needy user-types to hang out in the community rooms or be involved with the Bingo games, etc. So, if you go, you will be a new target. They'll be asking for favors, to borrow things, for rides, for favors, they'll be sucking you into drama.
So, just socialize somewhere else. But, don't expect to move into some senior community and have all of your neighbors be self-sufficient, well-adjusted angels.
Or be very selective. I watched and observed people when I first moved into my complex. Just as I would joining any group or club, I sought out those with whom I thought I would be compatible. Two of whom were newbies like myself. I avoided those who seemed to cause drama.
I now have some nice friends here. We hang out together. I’m still looking for outside activities but it’s nice to have friends in the building.
I just stay away from anyone that who might be trouble here as I would anywhere.
This is why I am retiring to the Philippines on an SRRV visa. They even have medical visas for the terminally ill. You give them your Social security and pension or 401k and they give you a nurse and a maid, sometimes even free rehab. As the dollar obviously goes a long way there and you are a job creator.
In the Philippines and other Asian cultures you are taught at a young age to respect elders. I highly doubt the level of elder abuse that happens here happens over there.
Any time you get the same people in close quarter over an extended period, people will self-sort and some will get bullied.
How close is too close? We live in a suburban neighborhood, average lot size of a quarter acre. As far as I can tell there is no bullying, even though there are poor families, middle income, and some fairly well off families.
It totally depends on the neighborhood, we are damn lucky!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
