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"You're a welfare leech!" is a personal attack, already verboten.
"You're humblebragging!" is tougher, mostly because the meaning of humblebrag has gotten lost in translation and confused with bragging.
Brag:
"I have several million in stock grants from my company because I was wiser than the people who left the company to seek large cash awards elsewhere."
Humblebrag:
"If I'd been smarter about negotiating my salary package, my house in Atherton would be paid off by now."
Neutral statement:
"I have stock grants from my company and I'm thinking about retirement but I'm confused about which I should do first: 1) file for Social Security benefits, 2) start drawing down 401k or 3) sell some or all of the stock. I'll be 68 in January."
I would disagree with your example of a humblebrag. I would put it more like
"I have several million in stock grants from my company, and my 1.5 million dollar house is paid off, but if I have to pay for a housekeeper and gardener to come once a week while I take round the world trips each year, will I have enough money to cover that?"
Being able to distinguish between wants and needs isn't remotely the same thing as telling people how they have to live. People can live however they want and can afford but that doesn't mean wants and needs aren't different things, esp. at the extremes.
See, it's not all that complicated after all.
by the same token median income levels even in our area buy us area's i would never want to live in . so what sense does it make for people to post median incomes and go see you have 2x that level , you don't need it .
nothing can be more irrelevant to someone's retirement than discussing median incomes and average social security checks of straw people in a statistic . ..
the only numbers that count are your own ! the only thing that counts as well is what we all consider our own needs not what others think are wants vs needs .
as far as our budget i want everything we do period . the only thing i need is a tent in a camp ground in a warm climate .. .
Last edited by mathjak107; 06-16-2018 at 01:23 PM..
And yet your example of a neutral post would in all probability be attacked. “You have STOCK GRANTS?! Why the hell do you feel the need to brag about that here? â€
And that post in all likelihood would be allowed to stand. Look at post #9 in the thead which sparked this one for a perfect example. (That OP, btw, made only one apologetic post after his original one, and hasn’t made an appearance on his thread since. I suspect he’s no longer following the thread, which is a pity since quite a few genuinely helpful posts were made following his departure.)
And posters of lower-than-average means have said they’ve been the targets of similar “helpful†remarks, and I believe them. That’s not OK either.
Maybe we just all need to be quicker to push the “Report This Post†button? But a later remark in the same thread was edited to remove an accusation that the OP was trolling, but post #9 was allowed to stand, even though all it did was attack the OP. So I’m not sure that’s the answer, either. Did the mod who saw and edited that later post simply not see post #9, or was it allowed to remain up for some other reason?
I’d hate to see this forum turn into a place where only the thickest-skinned feel free to post (even though I’m pretty thick-skinned myself). Money matters are a part of retirement, and should be on-topic for this forum.
Accusing someone of being a troll is known to be against the rules - though I really don't know why...but #9 in that thread should have been reported? I've seen far worse that hasn't gotten a peep from anyone. Are we adults on here or defenseless ____s?
I would disagree with your example of a humblebrag. I would put it more like
"I have several million in stock grants from my company, and my 1.5 million dollar house is paid off, but if I have to pay for a housekeeper and gardener to come once a week while I take round the world trips each year, will I have enough money to cover that?"
Nothing about that sounds remotely humble. Hahaha! I guess I don't get this whole humblebrag thing.
And yet your example of a neutral post would in all probability be attacked. “You have STOCK GRANTS?! Why the hell do you feel the need to brag about that here? ”
And that post in all likelihood would be allowed to stand. Look at post #9 in the thead which sparked this one for a perfect example. (That OP, btw, made only one apologetic post after his original one, and hasn’t made an appearance on his thread since. I suspect he’s no longer following the thread, which is a pity since quite a few genuinely helpful posts were made following his departure.)
And posters of lower-than-average means have said they’ve been the targets of similar “helpful” remarks, and I believe them. That’s not OK either.
Maybe we just all need to be quicker to push the “Report This Post” button? But a later remark in the same thread was edited to remove an accusation that the OP was trolling, but post #9 was allowed to stand, even though all it did was attack the OP. So I’m not sure that’s the answer, either. Did the mod who saw and edited that later post simply not see post #9, or was it allowed to remain up for some other reason?
I’d hate to see this forum turn into a place where only the thickest-skinned feel free to post (even though I’m pretty thick-skinned myself). Money matters are a part of retirement, and should be on-topic for this forum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Accusing someone of being a troll is known to be against the rules - though I really don't know why...but #9 in that thread should have been reported? I've seen far worse that hasn't gotten a peep from anyone. Are we adults on here or defenseless ____s?
I have read the entire thread, and I am honestly confused about why this post is seen as personal, or negative:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aredhel
I suspect many of those same people had no interest in learning long before they became retirees.
And a LOT of people genuinely struggle to understand the situation (financial and otherwise) of other people who are leading very, very different lives than their own. I suspect that's a near-universal human failing, to consider our own personal situation as "the norm," and a tendency we all must learn to guard against.
It was a comment to a comment on the OP, and it seems like a fairly accurate generalization about how many, if not most, people view other people's situations; and the statistics on how many people never read another book after formal education (either High School or College) is stunning, and seems to support the initial statement (there is some question about the sourcing of the data, but it "feels" accurate). Who Reads Books? | Mental Floss
I guess I am missing something, because this post does not seem personal, insulting, negative, or attacking towards the OP, but a relatively benign assessment of human tendencies. Again, maybe I am missing something...
Exactly. That is not a humble brag. That is an extreme example of silliness to make a point. A more typical example would be asking if anyone has had any success finding reasonably priced auto insurance for Ferraris. Or the tax abatement on my million dollar home expired and now my taxes have tripled to $20k a year, so I have to sell the house because I like to be frugal.
I have read the entire thread, and I am honestly confused about why this post is seen as personal, or negative:
It was a comment to a comment on the OP, and it seems like a fairly accurate generalization about how many, if not most, people view other people's situations; and the statistics on how many people never read another book after formal education (either High School or College) is stunning, and seems to support the initial statement (there is some question about the sourcing of the data, but it "feels" accurate). Who Reads Books? | Mental Floss
I guess I am missing something, because this post does not seem personal, insulting, negative, or attacking towards the OP, but a relatively benign assessment of human tendencies. Again, maybe I am missing something...
Accusing someone of being a troll is known to be against the rules - though I really don't know why...but #9 in that thread should have been reported? I've seen far worse that hasn't gotten a peep from anyone. Are we adults on here or defenseless ____s?
I have claws and am not afraid to use them on uncivil posters - but that’s not true of everybody. Posters on both extremes of the income divide have said they are posting less and avoiding certain topics because of nasty replies. Maybe we should all be paying more attention to uncivil posts and reporting them when we see them if we want this to be a place where people can get useful advice on retirement planning whatever their income level.
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