New Problem in Retirement (gifts, relationship, husband, benefit)
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I am just finding it all so unpleasant, repetitive, and exhausting.
I do think at some point you have just had enough.
I am a young senior (not 70 yet), but just sick of anything "unfun."
I understand just what you mean. Enough already!
Like most people, I've been through a lot. I've been alone for over 35 years and have had to deal with all the problems, sometimes getting them right, other times not so much. I've had a few surgeries for which the doctor has given strict orders.... NO housework, no lifting, no bending over, etc. Yeah, right. Do what I can. But have to leave a lot of it too.
I'm not a young senior (tho my brain sometimes argues with me). I'm 76 and starting to feel it, whatever that means. I've fought it but now allowing myself some forgiveness for not having energy or inclination to do what I used to do.
Try living one day at a time. Do what you feel like doing. Things will fall in place eventually. Ease up on the self-criticism.
Try to find a reason to laugh every day. It helps a lot.
Is this like a "twitter" ? You know like... "gee, I want sushi for lunch but all I have it PB&J"? Like free floating thoughts that you think everyone cares about???
If you don't care, scroll on. No need to be snarky for no reason.
Like most people, I've been through a lot. I've been alone for over 35 years and have had to deal with all the problems, sometimes getting them right, other times not so much. I've had a few surgeries for which the doctor has given strict orders.... NO housework, no lifting, no bending over, etc. Yeah, right. Do what I can. But have to leave a lot of it too.
I'm not a young senior (tho my brain sometimes argues with me). I'm 76 and starting to feel it, whatever that means. I've fought it but now allowing myself some forgiveness for not having energy or inclination to do what I used to do.
Try living one day at a time. Do what you feel like doing. Things will fall in place eventually. Ease up on the self-criticism.
Try to find a reason to laugh every day. It helps a lot.
That is definitely not true. You can hire someone to do pretty much anything.
To those who recommend Autopay for bills - I do that.
I also pay someone to do my taxes, but I have to prep and compile and it takes months!
I would not pay anyone to do stuff that might breach my security (wouldn't trust anyone with banking or taxes).
I can hire people to do other stuff, but then I have to supervise them, which is no fun - I know this last thing is fixable and I am just being kind of lazy and resistant.
I don't want to do anything I don't feel like doing.
The problem is that life requires that you do things you don't want to do (like pay bills on time, compile taxes, do all manner of uninteresting chores).
Not sure how to fix this.
I’m relieved to hear someone else say this. Most of my working life I’ve resented how much of my personal time, especially in my later years, employers demanded. All I could think about is if I only had the time to pursue my life long hobbies (photography, martial arts, marksmanship, fast cars, yardwork). Two years before I retired, I updated all my photography equipment and bought the few remaining firearms I wanted.
Then the time came and I finally retired. I discovered much to my chagrin that I didn’t feel like doing squat. For a couple years I did not much of anything except get way out of shape. Until recently, I thought this involved time urgency, that I used to do things because I only had a limited chance to do them when working. Now that I have unlimited time, I feel no urgency.
That might be partially true but something also happened recently so that I’m now reevaluating everything. For probably the last 35 years, I’ve had chronic, sometimes severe, back pain, lost work, epidural injections, physical therapy. Recently I bit the bullet and had spinal surgery (two level laminectomy at L4-L5 with partial discectomies). I’m just two months out of surgery now but already have completed a couple chores around the house and yard that have been on hold. It feels so good to be able to do things again and this feeling, of being able to enjoy doing things, is slowly making its way back into my life and I’m actually looking forward to being able to get started on some other things.
You will hear people say when you have chronic back pain (probably applies to lots of other pain as well) that it impacts every aspect of your life. I knew this but the impact had become such a part of my day to day life, I just thought that was the way things are. I didn’t realize how much it was putting a damper on my life. So, I guess the message here is that if you are lacking motivation, be sure to examine all aspects of your life to try to discover what it is that’s weighing you down and stealing your motivation. For myself, it was completely obvious on one hand but on the other, I was so used to it it didn’t even register with me. Good luck OP.
I totally understand. And no.... don't fall for the 'old folks' depression' thing. You aren't doing anything because you suddenly realize, you don't really have to !
Solution: put the bills on auto pay
then each day, pretend someone important is going to stop by: that should motivate you to get out of your pj's, take a bath and put on some makeup, and clean up the house
put on some dance music, really loud, dance around a bit - that gets the blood pumping
I’m relieved to hear someone else say this. Most of my working life I’ve resented how much of my personal time, especially in my later years, employers demanded. All I could think about is if I only had the time to pursue my life long hobbies (photography, martial arts, marksmanship, fast cars, yardwork). Two years before I retired, I updated all my photography equipment and bought the few remaining firearms I wanted.
Then the time came and I finally retired. I discovered much to my chagrin that I didn’t feel like doing squat. For a couple years I did not much of anything except get way out of shape. Until recently, I thought this involved time urgency, that I used to do things because I only had a limited chance to do them when working. Now that I have unlimited time, I feel no urgency.
That might be partially true but something also happened recently so that I’m now reevaluating everything. For probably the last 35 years, I’ve had chronic, sometimes severe, back pain, lost work, epidural injections, physical therapy. Recently I bit the bullet and had spinal surgery (two level laminectomy at L4-L5 with partial discectomies). I’m just two months out of surgery now but already have completed a couple chores around the house and yard that have been on hold. It feels so good to be able to do things again and this feeling, of being able to enjoy doing things, is slowly making its way back into my life and I’m actually looking forward to being able to get started on some other things.
You will hear people say when you have chronic back pain (probably applies to lots of other pain as well) that it impacts every aspect of your life. I knew this but the impact had become such a part of my day to day life, I just thought that was the way things are. I didn’t realize how much it was putting a damper on my life. So, I guess the message here is that if you are lacking motivation, be sure to examine all aspects of your life to try to discover what it is that’s weighing you down and stealing your motivation. For myself, it was completely obvious on one hand but on the other, I was so used to it it didn’t even register with me. Good luck OP.
Thank you for sharing. So glad you are feeling better. Lots of good advice. There is something bothering me, so it might be taking up a lot of energy.
I totally understand. And no.... don't fall for the 'old folks' depression' thing. You aren't doing anything because you suddenly realize, you don't really have to !
Solution: put the bills on auto pay
then each day, pretend someone important is going to stop by: that should motivate you to get out of your pj's, take a bath and put on some makeup, and clean up the house
put on some dance music, really loud, dance around a bit - that gets the blood pumping
Good luck !
Thank you. I have the bills on auto pay - get up each and every day to face the day - need a new perspective. Music is very uplifting - will add it to my new, pleasant habits.
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