Can't Afford to Retire Yet, But Want To Live Near People My Age (weather, divorce)

[suziq38]

Originally Posted by TarynB

I am 56, my husband died almost two years ago. I live in a beautiful home that is way too big and with a hefty mortgage payment--I should have moved right away, but losing my other half froze my brain, and I'm just waking up now. I need to work since retirement age is still several years away, and I need health insurance. I need to live near a bigger metropolitan area for job opportunities. Wish I could hole up in a little cabin somewhere and live off my savings, but that isn't in the cards, so hi-ho, hi-ho, it's back to work I go!

Anyway, besides being incredibly jealous of those of you still with your spouses and partners and enjoying a peaceful, stress-free retirement , I was wondering if any of you have moved into a retirement community while still working a full-time job. I think I would feel safer being a part of a community, and it would be nice to make friends again (my husband got ill right after we moved here so we couldn't make social connections, and my kids are across the country). I don't want to find that I would be isolated from people since I won't have the free time that others have. It sort of defeats the purpose of moving into such a community if one has to be around 24/7 to be a part of social activities.

Is this workable, being non-retired in a retirement community?

Thanks for any advice!

Taryn B,
I am so sorry that your husband died. It is understandable that you would wait before making any important decisions. I don't like hefty mortgage payments. Would selling the house and buying a smaller and cheaper one be better for you? Make sure to talk to your financial advisor and your accountant. Also, do what you feel is best for you.

I know that you must work, but can you find a job closer to your kids? It seems strange to move to a retirement community to find friends when you could use this time to make the move to be near your family. If you job is a good one, this may be difficult to do, especially since health insurance is so important and expensive to buy on your own. You won't be covered by Medicare until you are at least 65.

Hugs. Good luck.

[RedTexanTea]

Originally Posted by TarynB

I am 56, my husband died almost two years ago. I live in a beautiful home that is way too big and with a hefty mortgage payment--I should have moved right away, but losing my other half froze my brain, and I'm just waking up now. I need to work since retirement age is still several years away, and I need health insurance. I need to live near a bigger metropolitan area for job opportunities. Wish I could hole up in a little cabin somewhere and live off my savings, but that isn't in the cards, so hi-ho, hi-ho, it's back to work I go!

Anyway, besides being incredibly jealous of those of you still with your spouses and partners and enjoying a peaceful, stress-free retirement , I was wondering if any of you have moved into a retirement community while still working a full-time job. I think I would feel safer being a part of a community, and it would be nice to make friends again (my husband got ill right after we moved here so we couldn't make social connections, and my kids are across the country). I don't want to find that I would be isolated from people since I won't have the free time that others have. It sort of defeats the purpose of moving into such a community if one has to be around 24/7 to be a part of social activities.

Is this workable, being non-retired in a retirement community?

Thanks for any advice!

TarynB, where are you looking to be geographically, do you have any job prospects lined up yet?

I still work, I have lived in two 55+ communities in two different states. Both communities I easily made friends and both communities had a lot of activities, many were of course during the day but enough were evening and weekend activities that I was able to participate.

Also neither community was specifically restricted to 55+, however both communities were patio homes/townhouses in the suburbs and 55+ gravitated towards purchasing those homes due to the tiny yards and families with children didn't buy into the communities because of the smaller yards.

The HOAs have put together social committees at both communities and the social/friendship aspect of it took off.

[WorldKlas]

Lots of employed people live in our 55+ community of over 14K residents. And.....lots of people (about 20%) are under age 60. Several are under age 55+ (rules just require one family member to be 55+ but everyone has to be adults, so there are many under 55 wives and adult children) Then, a huge group (about 50%) are 60- 75 and then the rest (30%) are 75+.

So, ignore Mr. Rational, you are right in your interest in finding a 55+ community now. The one I live in, as well as others my friends live in, have many clubs and activities that are totally inclusive of all participants regardless of if they work, are snowbirds or are full-time retirees.

I have a friend who is 56 and lives here and works full time. She tends to participate in weekend fitness classes and is not nearly as active as most beause she’s tired on workday evenings so limits herself to very few activities.

There tends to be alot of people out and about in the neighborhoods during the daytime, so much fewer burglaries, everyone keeps their homes in pristine condition and the streets are not full of teenager’s cars. Highly recommend you check out 55+ communities near you. Several have homes for rent available so you can test it out for a while. That’s what we did before we bought our place.

[jlawrence01]

Originally Posted by TheShadow

Go check out a few 55+ communities. Different communities have different demographics, and activities, etc. You are probably more interested in what are considered Active Adult Communities, rather than Retirement Communities. The difference between these two euphemisms is that the former has tons of activities ranging from hiking, cycling, kayaking, wine tasting, gardening, etc. The latter is more geared to the needs of folks in their much later years.

I agree that you should ask for calendars and schedules when you visit communities to ensure that there are activities available when you are off work. Tour the facilities, and talk as much as you can to the residents about how they like it, especially residents who seem to mirror your own age/ style.

This is a very important point. In our community, people tend to rise very early to avoid the midday dun. MANY of the activities are scheduled from 7 am - Noon. Relatively few are offered in the evening.

However, on advantage of this is that the pools, spas, gyms, etc. are nearly empty in the evening meaning that there is little competition for the equipment. Thise of us who are night people often have a dull sized pool to ourselves.

[Tonyafd]

Originally Posted by TarynB

I am 56, my husband died almost two years ago. I live in a beautiful home that is way too big and with a hefty mortgage payment--I should have moved right away, but losing my other half froze my brain, and I'm just waking up now. I need to work since retirement age is still several years away, and I need health insurance. I need to live near a bigger metropolitan area for job opportunities. Wish I could hole up in a little cabin somewhere and live off my savings, but that isn't in the cards, so hi-ho, hi-ho, it's back to work I go!

Anyway, besides being incredibly jealous of those of you still with your spouses and partners and enjoying a peaceful, stress-free retirement , I was wondering if any of you have moved into a retirement community while still working a full-time job. I think I would feel safer being a part of a community, and it would be nice to make friends again (my husband got ill right after we moved here so we couldn't make social connections, and my kids are across the country). I don't want to find that I would be isolated from people since I won't have the free time that others have. It sort of defeats the purpose of moving into such a community if one has to be around 24/7 to be a part of social activities.

Is this workable, being non-retired in a retirement community?

Thanks for any advice!

Downsizing is definitely in order. Buy a condo or coop so that maintenance is done for you. Talk to your tax guy about what you get to keep if you sell your house. I don't recommend a 55+ community. Why limit your target market to seniors if you decide to move at retirement.

Good luck.

[movinon]

Originally Posted by WorldKlas

Lots of employed people live in our 55+ community of over 14K residents. And.....lots of people (about 20%) are under age 60. Several are under age 55+ (rules just require one family member to be 55+ but everyone has to be adults, so there are many under 55 wives and adult children) Then, a huge group (about 50%) are 60- 75 and then the rest (30%) are 75+.

So, ignore Mr. Rational, you are right in your interest in finding a 55+ community now. The one I live in, as well as others my friends live in, have many clubs and activities that are totally inclusive of all participants regardless of if they work, are snowbirds or are full-time retirees.

I have a friend who is 56 and lives here and works full time. She tends to participate in weekend fitness classes and is not nearly as active as most beause she’s tired on workday evenings so limits herself to very few activities.

There tends to be alot of people out and about in the neighborhoods during the daytime, so much fewer burglaries, everyone keeps their homes in pristine condition and the streets are not full of teenager’s cars. Highly recommend you check out 55+ communities near you. Several have homes for rent available so you can test it out for a while. That’s what we did before we bought our place.

I almost could have written this. Except I'm not sure what our percentages are but probably pretty darn close.

Coincidentally and before I read this thread, I happened to talk with a member of our Ambassador Committee. The average age of new move-ins last month was 63 - that's average, so obviously there are a number of younger newbies. Some of the older/original residents are moving out, one way or the other, in their advanced old age, although some stay until the end with hired assistance as needed. I've been quite impressed with the sharpness of some of those older residents and think they actually add a bit of flavor to the community. By no means do the oldsters dominate the population here.

I came here as part of a couple and have been here as a single for several years. I've found my tribe as there are a lot (can't remember the percentage right now) of single women here. I feel safe and comfortable in this environment.

As for those who work . . . lots. I know nurses, non-profit executives, home-based internet business owners, small business owners, realtors, etc. Home-based businesses are fine with the HOA as long as the business doesn't have clients coming and going and no signage is displayed.

There seems to be a misperception that 55+ Active Adult is the same as a CCRC or Assisted Living facility. There can be a world of difference between 55+ Active Adult and the other flavors of retirement facilities, so don't be discouraged by those who have not made the distinction.

I wouldn't live anywhere else but a 55+ now. It's worked out really well.

[kitty61]

I am so sorry you have gone through such a painful period. Be kind to yourself.

I knew a couple who moved into a gated 55+ communities where you buy a smaller bungalow home with choice of attached garage etc and I have seen some very upscale ones if that is a concern for you.

Those communities tend to be closer knit that the average neighborhoods. For example, this couple said they had spontaneous block parties like barbecues and games and people would get together for coffee or drinks.

[emm74]

My mom recently moved out of a community that wasn't specifically identified as 55+ but was mostly empty nesters including I'd say 1/3 to 1/2 retirees. The activities were pretty well divided between daytime and evening or weekends, with just about all of the larger events in the evening or weekend, meaning the bigger community cookouts, etc. Bookclub was during the day, but I bet if someone had wanted to start a second one for working people, they could have done that.

If you find communities you are interested in, ask to see the newsletters for the last year or so, and you can see what kind of activities they have and when they are held, and you'll be able to tell if the social activities are going to fit your schedule.

Although I would echo what someone else mentioned, about considering relocation to be near your kids. It sounds like you don't currently have a job and need to look for one? You mentioned needing job opportunities. Obviously if you have a job that you like and want to stay at, that's one thing, but if not, I'd at least consider moving. Not that you need so much help at age 56, but why not establish yourself and build your network near where your kids happen to be, since you don't have an established one where you are?

[ansible90]

Originally Posted by MrRational

Does that mean you've got a RE agent to sell it soon? Don't dawdle.

1. Plan to move into a smallish rental near your job for a year or so.
2. Make some friends in the area. Do some dating.
3. You're nearly twenty years from that decision.

4. Once the house is sold and you KNOW how much you might NET from the sale
look into other living situations. But don't even think about these until the sale is completed.

Oh this hit me as so backwards.

1. She is just beginning to explore what type of place she wants to live in. She has a lot of research to do. What's the point in renting before having any idea where she wants to go?

2. Good idea wherever you are.

3. She is maybe 9 years from retirement (not 20). Healthcare is a consideration, so age 65 when Medicare starts will help with the health care budget.

4. She can find out in 5 minutes how much money she will net when she sells her house. Look up prices on Zillow or Realtor.com, subtract what is still owed on the mortgage, then subtract 6% of the sales price for realtor fee.

Mr Rational, maybe you listed out what you need to do for yourself?

[Avalon08]

Just adding my .02, as someone who lives in a small (350-unit) over-55 in FL. We have probably 60 or 70% snowbirds and the rest full-timers. I'm not sure what the average age is but the old-timers are either moving out or dying off, so lots of baby-boomers are moving in. In my experience, the people who work full-time are not really well-assimilated into the community. They're not at the pool during the day and they're not golfing, so they don't meet as many people. They're disconnected from the activities because they're not checking the in-house channel or website, and the sign-up days are during weekdays. Most of the big activities are in the winter months when everyone's here -- they consist of dances, potluck suppers, wine-tasting parties, etc. But it's hard for the working folk because they don't know most of the people....because they're not here most of the time.

So I guess based on the situation here and the fact you're only 56 and may have another 6-14 years of working, I would hold off on the over-55 yet. You never know where you'll be at the time you actually do retire. And I'm very sorry about your husband.

ETA: Of course, this is just my experience and, as you can see, other people in over-55s that are larger and maybe not in a "retirement destination" have different views.